Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Praise the Lord! Jeremiah's 4!


Praise the Lord! Jeremiah's 4!
Mummy went searching and asking all around for dairy free cakes for the little one and finally was blessed with a kind baker that would do it for a very good price. And we found him on Saturday after morning mass :) So mummy ordered one 1kg for Jere's school on the actual day 5th July Monday, one 1 kg for the extended family dinner on Sunday, the day before and a 1/2 kg for our little family on the actual day. So excited we all were.

3 days before the birthday, Jerry came down with a high temperature that shot beyond 38 deg. Up and down on Friday and Saturday. Jerry could not go for GROWTH at CSC, his usual Friday party venue. On Saturday morning, our dear friend woke up at 5.30am and insisted on going for morning mass. Taking his temperature, he felt alright so mummy brought him even though daddy says no coz it's cold and he's recovering. Jerry was happy at mass and went for breakfast with our friends and Father Stephen from church. Father Stephen blessed him after mass and he was happy. The temperature came back after we went home though. Sunday, little Jerry refused food which was unusual and we realised he had developed ulcers in his mouth. Poor baby. He refused cold soya bean and all his favourite food, he was not keen :( I brought him to Aunty Sally's house nearby and he saw 1-shape, a food replacement drink and he asked for it so Aunty Sally gave him. He happily finished the bottle and Aunty Sally also gave him a packet of "Essence of Play". We went home and he slept. The evening's dinner with the extended family was cancelled coz Nat came down with fever and a very high temeprature of 38.9 deg. We stayed home and the boys slept till about 10pm and woke up and saw the cakes we collected for Jerry. Jerry was so so excited and had to blow one cake that night. But the poor little boy said, " First time I got a cake but I got the ulcers :("Mummy brought all the dairy free stuff and "jerry-friendly" ingredients to a very kind bakery that did all the beautiful cakes for our dear Jerry :) Praise the Lord! We lit the 1/2 kg cake and thought we will keep the two 1 kg for tomorrow school and family dinner if jerry gets better. Our doggie Bonnie was whining and screaming to be in the pic so there she is right beside me... our boys 10 yr old sister :)
Jerry was pushing mummy away and said "I blow my candles myself... no need help" :P.... Look at him... my sweetpea. How my little baby has grown!
Jerry got this thing of cutting cake this year... he wil chop chop chop the cake :D Jerry goes chop //// chop //// chop ///// :D and he couldn't stop chopping the cake :P After that, he was happy and could go to bed :)
On the 5th July, Jerry woke up with more ulcers in his mouth. This time even on his tongue! School was definitely a no go! Lunch time, mummy decided to do something to cheer him up. Poor little one, caught up at home coz he was not well on his birthday. This was what I did!RED mee sua! RED was his favourite colour :D Look how happy he is but he couldn't eat much coz of his ulcers :( SIMPLE stuff :) organic meesua that was naturally coloured with beetroot I think. Then I just added eggs, minced pork and spinach :) Mummy did not want to leave Korkor Nat out so made him some BLUE mee sua :) Looks kinda weird but the boys love it and actually it's kinda cool :) Then they took their nap. While they were napping, I was thinking, what was I supposed to do with two 1-kg cakes? Then something struck me.... we usually go for RCIA class every Monday night and I thought maybe we could share the cake there! Quickly, I sms the people in charge and told them that I had some cakes to share for their fellowship. I told them about Jerry not being well and not being able to bring the cake to school. Thus we had lotsa cakes to share. Theresa asked me to bring Jerry along and said the people there then could sing birthday song and bless him :) How God had planned for this little one! So it was decided, we will bring the 2 cakes to church! When we were preparing to leave house about 7.30pm that evening, the postman came with a registered mail! BIRTHDAY ICE CREAM CAKE FROM SWENSENS and CLUB RAINBOW! THANK YOU LORD! Jerry was thrilled with the dry ice effect that mummy did with the dry ice that came in the box :P MORE MUMMY MORE! We had to move away from the table coz we were pouring so much water on the dry ice that the water was overflowing. So we moved off to chop the cake. It was tough as it was so frozen that we had to use a knife dipped into hot water. Mummy had to help.... Jerry was a really good boy. He knew he was allergic to cow's milk so he said he just wanted to blow candles and cut the cake, knowing that he cannot take ice-cream cake. When the grandma took the cake, he looked kinda disappointed but he did not shed a tear. Such a good boy!
Then we brought the two 1kg cake to church to celebrate with the RCIA people.... How God arranges Jerry to celebrate with His people :) Here's Jerry with Uncle Eric who always cheers the little one up.... big or small :) Here's Jeremiah with daddy and mummy at the church canteen. Korkor is at home coz of his fever. Sorry Korkor, we missed you! One of the inquirers that was in the RCIA process who was coincidentally the one that Tim was sponsoring... birthday also fell on the 5th July too! so we invited him to cut the cake together :) Jerry was really eager to chop chop chop the cake again! :P Uncle Eric was so so cute! He took out a microphone for Jerry to sing and Jerry sang for the uncle with the same birthday "May the Good Lord bless you!" Here's Father Kenny and little Jerry! How great is our God! Father Kenny was praying and lifting Jerry up for mass when Jerry was born and stuck in NICU for some 2 and half weeks! now 4 years later! How Great is our God!Jerry wants to be a priest like Father Kenny one day! :) The little one always says he wants to be a Father too! :) Another cake at 11pm! with the AH TA (yeye) who was working earlier :) think we were all singing may the good Lord bless YOU! that explains daddy and mummy's mouth shape :P and there our friend goes.... happily chopping the cake again! Pressis Time! awwwww..... kiss tita (our dear helper, Gina)! Grandma and mummy cannot take it :P too lovey!Look how Jerry kisses his dear Tita. Definitely not just for her gift of a set of bible story books.... actually this kiss ain't enough for the love and care she showers on him. That wraps up his 4th birthday celebration with a total of 4 cakes! WOW! How blessed! Thank you Lord for this wonderful blessing Jeremiah and protecting him and keeping him in your Love. Thank You Lord! Lord, grant us the strength and the wisdom and understanding to bring up this little one the way You want us to. Thank You Lord. AMEN!

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Mummy has died and is RISEN!

Praise the Lord!

I had my own personal encounter with the Lord!!!! It's amazing!!!!

After the last post, I felt that I really needed some time with God. I needed a retreat. I needed a personal touch from God. I kept telling the husband... let's do a retreat. Finally, he agreed to do the Conversion Experience Retreat at Catholic Spirituality Centre. We signed up and were on wait list and the day when I posted on the reflection and regrets of a mama, I got the confirmation that we were in the retreat! Praise God!

I had 2 weeks then, well, thereabout to worry about who's gonna take care of the kids while the hubby and I go for the 4 day stay-in retreat. Most of us with young kids always use the kids as an excuse for such stuff. Hubby was rather worried while at the back of my mind, I told myself there's never a good time... just do it and God will take care of it all! Till the day before, we were wondering what's gonna be the logistics for fetching and sending of the boys to school. I prayed and with a leap of faith, I asked my dad to come stay over for the 4 days to help the helper keep an eye on the boys. Then I gave ample money for the helper to take a cab to and fro the schools and drew maps for her just in case the cabbie decided to take her on a wild goose chase.

We told the boys way ahead, slowly everyday from the time we knew we were going that we were going to Catholic Spirituality Centre for a retreat. The boys started a little drama saying they will miss us and don't want us to go. I then explained to Big Bro Nat that he's the big bro and he must be a good example to the small one so please don't drama drama.

We started packing the night before when the boys were asleep so as not to cause unnecessary anxiety in them. Then that morning, we sent Nat to school together and told him to be a good boy. We returned for Jerry and put him in a cab with the helper. Jerry was holding back his tears and kept saying he did not want me to go. I had to distract him by telling him he had to teach our helper how to go to the school and come home coz the helper has never fetched him to school or from school before. He nodded he would do that and in tears boarded the cab.

Tim and I made our way to the centre. Upon reaching, we were greeted by the ministry people, many of whom we were familiar to coz of our attendance at the weekly Friday growth sessions and 4th Saturday healing masses. Before I could even make my way to the stairs of the dormitory, I already had more than 10 people asking who's taking care of the kids of which I answered, " MY BIG BOSS UP THERE! I have left it in the hands of the Lord."

Unknown to me, our good Lord had a whole lot in store for me! so here's the testimony proper!

First, upon entering the auditorium after I had placed my bags in the dormitory, I was looking for the hubby and found him in the first row right in front of the altar! Praise the Lord! Even in our last retreat, the marriage encounter, it was pretty hard to get the man to sit in the front row. I, on the other hand loved the front rows ever since I came to Catholic Spirituality Centre :P I never was a front row person in school :P but as I drew closer to Christ, I can't seem to get enough of His word and wanted every word loud and clear and in my face! The first day went by quickly.
Second day, as we were lifting our hands in praise and worship, I felt a tingly feeling coming in from my finger tips right through to my arms and feeling all warm. I was like WOW WOW WOW!!!!! I knew it was the HOLY SPIRIT! Then when I was feeling the presence of the Holy Spirit, I heard someone sobbing uncontrollably. I turned around to see and saw this girl sobbing uncontrollably as she danced gracefully around the hall. Though I had attended loads of charismatic prayers, praise and worship and healing sessions, both Catholic and the protestants' ( I have never turned down people's invitations to go experience their church as long as I know it's the same God), I never experienced something like this before. I have seen people resting in the spirit and heard people praying in tongues but I never ever GOT IT myself and so I always wondered how did it feel to rest in the Spirit and did these people train themselves to speak that tongue! Well, it almost sometimes sound the same when they start. So after the session, I immediately went up to the hubby and said "WOW WOW WOW!!!!!! DID YOU FEEL IT????" then I explained what I had just experienced. My husband even kidded me saying that I must have secretly brought the bedpad that had the ions and got myself charged. I went back to my dormitory asking the people in there if anyone had experienced what I just did. I was so convinced that it was the Holy Spirit that was moving around in the auditorium. Someone from my dormitory said she also felt the tingly and warm feeling but did not think much of it and thought she was just feeling warm. That night as I went down to the adoration room from 12 midnight to 1am, I still felt the tingly feeling as I spent that hour with the Blessed Sacrament in the adoration room.

Third day, we fasted and prepared ourselves to walk closer to God. We were told to write a letter to Jesus confessing all our darkest sins. Then we had the stations of the cross and we had to carry the cross. Then we were told we can make our confessions after. There were 125 of us and we were told the non-catholics could also do their confession. Father William also told us that the confessions had curtains so not to worry but if we wanted something more personal, we can request a face to face. We queued a long long time! coz there were so many of us and just 8 priests and all of us probably had lots of sins to confess! They lined the hall's perimeter with chairs and we sat all around the hall and were led to the priests when it was our turn. My husband was right across the hall, a good thirty people in front of me. I was the second last in the queue. When it came to my turn finally, I was led to a room. When the door opened, I almost died! I was like oh sh*&! not only there were no curtains, well, actually there was but it was pushed aside and the Father was exposed and I knew the priest! How to confess????? I did not dare to look at the priest and bowed my head and said "Bless me Father for I have sinned." then I was quite speechless. Not that I had no sins.... but I did not know how to do it! I then took out the letter that I wrote to Jesus from my pocket and started reading from there and injected more stuff here and there. I started to cry and Father reached out for some tissue to hand them to me. As he handed to me the tissue, he took some for himself too, blowing his nose. Somehow, I looked up and saw him gently wiping his own tears too. Then I knew.... Jesus was with me! He knew my pains and He is right there beside me! I realise in my pains and hurts, my sorrow and grief, my shame and sin, Jesus is right there! How great is our God!It was the best confession I have ever made! We were told to do it like a deathbed confession. Then when I finished, I was led to a place to burn my letter to Jesus. As I did that, I cried and cried. I knew God has forgiven me for all that I have done. I felt so sad that I have done all these but yet uplifted knowing that I have a God that loves me no matter what I am and so comforted to know that He was right there beside me! That evening during Praise and Worship, another amazing thing happened! As I lifted my hands up in worship, again, I felt the tingly feeling. I closed my eyes. Then I felt a force gently pulling my hands together and moving forward. Then something was placed in my hands and my hands were gently drawn back to me! AMAZING!!!! Totally awesome!!!! I could even feel it throbbing! It was pulsating! I did not know what was it. I did not open my eyes but I kept saying.... Thank You Lord! Thank You Holy Spirit!!!! That evening as I shared with the others, all were very amazed and they all had their different interpretations. I went into adoration and asked the Lord to tell me what is the gift and how I could serve Him.

Fourth and last day is the most amazing day of my life! Father William gave us talks and told us in the afternoon that was the last instalment! During that pray over, as we sang our praise and worship while the Blessed Sacraent was exposed, I fell forward as I knelt. Was it slain? I wasn't sure. I had my doubts coz when a minister came to whisper to me asking me if I was alright, I got up almost immediately. Then I got up and continued my Praise and Worship and prayer, inviting the Holy Spirit. Father William also asked us to ask for the gifts. Ask for the gift of tongue. Soon, Father came over with the Blessed Sacrament and started to pray over me. I fell. Lying on the floor, I felt as if I was there and yet not there. My eyes were closed. Then, suddenly, my tongue started rolling uncontrollably! It was beyond my control. I could feel a heat entering from my head and very intensely at my face near my right cheek. It felt as though the Lord's Hand was upon me!
I wanted to thank the Lord for giving me the gift of tongue but I could only manage an almost inaudible Thank You Lord and I went into tongues again! The rumbling seemed to come from my stomach! and my tongue rolled uncontrollably! Yeah. WOW! I always thought the people speaking in tongues learnt it. Now I understood how Spirit led it was! It was only in the Holy Spirit's time that the tongue stopped rolling and I was able to get on my feet again. I stood up and continued the praise and worship. After a while, I could feel my right hand shaking. It was shaking so so vigorously! I fell again! This time, I fell with my hands outstretched like being crucified on the cross and my legs were kinda open. A part of me, the conscious part was still ... Oh my goodness, I must look terrible. I could feel it. I felt someone putting my legs together. Then my hands. They tried to put my hands on my chest but my hands sprang back into position! The right hand was still shaking vigorously and uncontrollably. I think they knew they cant put the hands back so they left me. My human pride told me to try to gain control. I tried to lift my right hand up so that I could help myself to my feet but my hand just slammed back to the ground. I tried again and the same thing happened.SLAM! my hand went! I tried another time and the same thing happened! I gave up. This time, I thought let me try the left hand since it is not shaking. I lifted up my left hand and it started shaking and slam back down. Anyway, it wasn't easy at all to try to lift up the hands. I surrendered! I told the Holy Spirit. Holy Spirit, I surrender completely to you. That day during mass, Father said. "When you go home, your son would say. Mummy is dead! Mummy is risen." I looked at Nat who was serving mass then and nodded at him with a smile.

After mass, that day, one of the liturgy minister came and told me that he saw I had the gift and asked me to use it on Jeremiah. He told me to go home and pray for Jere.

That night when we went home, daddy asked Nat what he had noticed about us from the retreat.

Nat said, Mummy is dead! Mummy is Risen!

Indeed! Praise the Lord! I have crucified my old self! The me now is a Risen me! AMEN! PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!

Then before I went to bed that night, I prayed over Jerry and went into tongues. He felt warm throughout that night. In fact, hot! I thought he was running a temperature but No! he wasn't. I took his temperature. I can only conclude it's the Holy Spirit that has filled him.

The next morning, I saw this flower on the table. It was a flower that Jerry had bought on Sunday at Christ the King church at the 1130am mass. It looked really limp and dead. I felt really terrible and sorry coz Jerry had brought that flower to Catholic Spirituality Centre for me. I have just stuffed it away in the backpack as we were busy with mass and testimonies. And by the time I got home Sunday night at eight plus, I was just too tired and had lots to do like putting the kids to bed and arranging for the dad to be sent back so I had left it there on the table and forgotten all about it. So it was kinda all dead, limp and gone on Monday morning. I am sure u can imagine how dead it looked. I should have taken a picture. I felt so sorry and sad looking at it. I told the helper to put the flower in some water and try to see whatever life more it had to bring it out, hopefully it can be revived. I left the house then to bring jerry to school. that was 8 plus in the morning. When I returned at 1 plus, I could hardly believed my eyes! The flower had bloomed so beautifully that even the helper couldn't believe it! It still remains in its vase today (Friday ) except a little wilted now. As the helper and I wowed over it, I told the helper.... even the flower is given new life. We are more precious than the flowers! AMEN!
The hub, also, usually very tired after a retreat would head straight to bed but after this retreat, he was so spirit-filled that he went on and on talking to the helper together with me till past midnight. The husband and I had decided on our way home from the retreat that we were going to pay for the helper and let her attend the next CER. Just that she got her inhibitions as she is worried that she may have to do things that she would not like to do as before she came to Singapore, she has steered towards the protestants. Though she said she's not baptised in the protestant church, her almost two years here, the only time i see her make the sign of the cross is when she guide my little one's hands to do the sign of the cross. I pray that the Holy Spirit would touch her in His own ways and clear her doubts. I told her, no one can force her to do anything as I have heard people of other faith also were at the retreat I was at. I believe.

It has been the most awesome experience I have had in my so many years of being a Catholic and I urge all of you reading this if you want a personal touch from God, do give this a shot! Our God is a loving, merciful and compassionate God.Praise the Lord!

How great is our God! Thank You Lord!

Thursday, April 22, 2010

A Reflection... Putting myself in the kids' shoes...

With a little regret I pen this, reminding myself that I have to move from here and not get stuck. Originally, I had wanted to blog on Nat's blog but somehow feel that this is something more of a mother's thoughts.

Nat is fast growing up. He is turning 8 this year. I am so guilty as charged for "neglect" of Nat since Jere came about. Thank God I am conscious about it and want to do something about it. God sent His angels to me time and again to remind me what I have done or rather what I have not done for Nat.

There's so much joy in bringing up kids. We just gotta focus on what they have done and not what they have not done. Just like what I always tell Jere "Look at what you are able to do and not what you are not able to do" whenever he asks me "Why mummy? Why I cannot walk?" Yet, I always look at Nat and scream at him for the things he has yet to achieve for me.... like when are you gonna see the dentist and get those rotten teeth fixed? When are you gonna start behaving and stop all your nonsense in school? When am I gonna stop getting the complaints from your teachers?????

I look at my two boys. Both are my own. One well and one not quite. It almost seems natural to lean towards the not quite well child and help him in almost everything I could, almost feeling that it's my fault that he is not walking and he is not well and taking for granted that the well child can only get better without my help at all. It never ever occurred to me that my well child was regressing! What are you thinking mummy?????

Of late, I look at Nat and feel that tinge of regret and sadness. He has definitely been neglected much as Tim and I have denied. We try to give him as much as we can... but most of the times I must say is of material stuff. Yes, we fetch him to school, fetch him from school, give him all the extra curricular activities he asked for, namely golf, piano, swimming, violin.... He asked to join the altar servers at Catholic Spiritual Centre and Christ the King and we let him join. He goes for Kumon English and some Chinese Fun Class in Jere's school but the boy seems not too happy. He's lost the sparkle that I used to see. Last Sunday, Nat wet his bed again! This bet-wetting thing had started since Jerry's coming. He used to be dry since he was one plus! then all of it came back when he was about 4. This time, he did not just wet his bed. He even wet himself after mass. Is there a fear in him, too much to handle? Is he going through extreme stress?

He seems to want our attention more than anything else. He's starting to act up a lot in school. Not handing up his art work for 6 weeks. Why haven't we noticed? He told us that he need not hand up those work as he brought them back week after week and yes we took it as that. Making funny noises in class and distracting his friends during lessons to the point that the form teacher called to say she may have to take him to the Discipline Master. Is this all a result of a lacking of attention? or what the teacher say a symptom of a hyper-active child? I am so frus when I see all these happening that I just wanna scream and punish him each time the teacher complains. I was dealing with the boy not wanting to co-operate with the dentist since last year. But has it ever occurred to me that this was all happening because deep down inside, he was really fearful and insecure? Maybe he just wanted more love and attention from his daddy and mummy? Is it a fault to want the love of mummy and daddy just as how they seem to love the little brother? Is it a fault to feel this sense of insecurity? This child is not even eight years old and it must have been too much for him to handle himself. Poor child.

When I am stressed, I can talk back to my boss... which is dear husband since I am a stay at home mum (sahm). I can go get some chocolates in the refridgerator or chips from the cabinets as comfort food. I have my friends to talk to. I know how to seek God in prayer. But our children are not able to do all these! They can't talk back to us. They would have gotten that tight slap for sure. They can't reach out for any comfort food as all those are controlled food for their age. They don't have friends who could listen and advise at that age. They also have not been taught enough to seek God in prayer and contemplation.

Looking at Nat, he is like any other being, wanting to be accepted. He carries around toys he thinks as cool to be more secure and confident. Guess that is his comfort too. He can't talk back at us adults so he snaps at Jere whenever he has that opportunity and that doesn't help at all coz in the process, Jere learns to speak nasty too and we parents get mad at Nat coz he snaps at Jere first.... but have we slowed down to think why did he snap in the first place? He misbehaves and gets some attention though not quite the right kind of attention. He can't seek junk food for comfort to release the stress he is experiencing. His relationship with me, his mummy is a love hate one. He loves me coz I am his mummy, I suppose. I give and provide him a lot, if not all of the stuff that he needs and wants. He hates me for the discipline I deliver. From the horse's mouth itself I got that "mummy don't like me. mummy don't love me." Nat probably does not understand at all when I scream or punish him. He just understands it as hurt. And yes, I may have hurt him both physically and emotionally. It sounds a tad too serious and scary... and yes, sometimes we parents may have done that without realising it. Kids these days are more aware and sensitive. Neither do I understand my outbursts too at times. Have I neglected my prayer life, meditation and contemplation?

How to fix all these?
1. I have to fix myself. Put aside fixed and regular time for prayer, meditation and contemplation.
2. Reconcile with Nat. Heal all those hurts. Just like what Father William always say, we should have our "penitential service" with our spouse and our children.
3. Reconnect with Nat. Do not take for granted his well-being. Set time for Nat.

Nat, I love you and your brother Jeremiah. I pray that I will be a good mother to you children. Thank You Lord Jesus for giving us Mary to be our mother as You said to John "Behold your mother". Lord Jesus, help me in my role of motherhood to maintain an attitude of trust and confidence in God as Mary did. Father Lord, You have plans for these children, help me to be like Mother Mary, how she went through the pain in sharing so closely the mission of her divine son. Father Lord, fill me up and make me whole.

Like the woman at the well I was seeking
For things that could not satisfy;
And then I heard my Savior speaking:
"Draw from my well that never shall run dry".

Fill my cup Lord, I lift it up, Lord!
Come and quench this thirsting of my soul.
Bread of heaven, feed me till I want no more.
Fill my cup, fill it up and make me whole!

There are millions in this world who are craving
The pleasures earthly things afford.
But none can match the wondrous treasure
That I find in Jesus Christ my Lord.

Fill my cup Lord, I lift it up, Lord!
Come and quench this thirsting of my soul.
Bread of heaven, feed me till I want no more.
Fill my cup, fill it up and make me whole!

So, my brother, if the things this world gave you
Leave hungers that won't pass away,
My blessed Lord will come and save you,
If you kneel to Him and humbly pray:

Fill my cup Lord, I lift it up, Lord!
Come and quench this thirsting of my soul.
Bread of heaven, feed me till I want no more.
Fill my cup, fill it up and make me whole!

A call from the hospital....

The other side of the line: Is this Jeremiah mummy?

Me: Yes

Other side: This is calling from KKH X-ray Dept

Me: Yes?

Other side: Jeremiah has an appointment for DMSA on the 28th April right?

Me: Yes?

I was trying to interrupt but could not... coz I wanted to say I did not want to go for this DMSA thing.

Other side: Looks like we gotta postpone this appointment.

Me: BEST! THANK YOU LORD!

Other side: (sounding a little baffled) We ran out of the medicine and it's run out world wide!

Me: Praise the Lord!

Other side: (Sounding like she was trying to control her amusement) We will let u know again.

Me: It's ok! Praise the Lord!

I never did wanted the test anyway... and was thinking how to avoid it. Could not do anything but ask the Lord, my God and He sure works in His own mysterious ways!

I was so so amazed and over the hills that I had to immediately go share it with the helper the news and of coz to dear husband when he came home.

Upon hearing what I told him,
Dear Husband: Only God is capable of this. Run out of medicine worldwide! WOW! YOU must put this on your blog....

So here it is! ALL YOU READING THIS! AIN'T HE AMAZING????? YES! HE ANSWERS PRAYERS!!! HE SURE DOES! NEVER EVER DOUBT HIM :) THANK YOU LORD! YOUR GRACE STILL AMAZES ME!

Your grace still amazes me
Your love is still a mystery
each day i fall on my knees
'cause Your grace still amazes me
Your grace still amazes me

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Update on the tests!

Two tests done!
The ultrasound and the MCU was done last week April 12th. Mummy sent out prayer requests to all. Thank you all for your prayers.

Everything went smooth. Praise the Lord.
We started off by buying Jerry a Mr Bean ice cream upon reaching the hospital to kinda calm his nerves.
Then we went for the ultrasound. Ultrasound was smooth. No crying. Not a tear. However, as we were doing the ultrasound, Jerry could hear the crying of the child next door in the MCU room which got him a little worried.
When it was Jerry's turn to go in the MCU room, he was all apprehensive but still, he was a good boy and changed into his x ray robes nicely.

Then we entered the room. He was so scared he refused to be put down. Daddy started to make some monkey faces to distract him.
Nevertheless, we had him put down. He started crying. He looked really scared. Poor baby. Even mummy gotta wear some "space suit". Mummy finally managed to make Jerry smile after crying for some 20 min. He was intimidated by the "space shuttle" that he had to lay in and the catheter that went in his privates and the tapes all around the area.
Look at Jerry! Despite the fear, he manages a smile :)
Mummy had to distract distract distract.... talking about everything under the sun and holding the camera to make him smile as Jerry is one vain little boy. He will always try to pose when he catches the camera in his line of sight.
Here he is, posing after being convinced the "space shuttle" is not gonna crush him.


Usually when the scans are ok, they will tell us to follow up with the doctors after. If they look look see see and worry,and start to call the consultants down and all that, that's when we gotta worry too.

No news = Good news!

So our appointment with the urologist would be 27 May 2010.
Meantime, pray that all is well :)
Thank You Lord for protecting Jeremiah and keeping him in your care.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

2 tests in 2 days' time

Please keep us in prayers.

Please pray that the procedures will be smooth and the results would be positively good.
AMEN!

Monday, April 5, 2010

Test dates

given.....

1.Ultrasound 12 April 2010 2pm

2.MCU 12 April 3.30pm

3.DMSA 28 April 10am

4. Dr Yap review 27 May 1110am


the nurse called and gave me the above dates and time.
She said the UDS slots are full so hang on... I said... best! if everything all full :P then no need any tests..... The nure must have thought this mummy was mad :P but no, mummy's not mad.... just keep the faith coz our Lord healeths Jerry :)

Please pray for good results as we approach the tests.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Blessed Easter Everyone!

Our family attended our first triduum at Catholic Spiritual Centre over the Good Friday Weekend.
We had the Seder meal on Holy Thursday, attended the Good Friday Mass, and the Easter Mass and party all there!

It's amazing how God has brought us closer to Him through our children. We were first led to Catholic Spiritual Centre (CSC) by Jeremiah, our little one when he was born coz people suggested we take him to the 4th Saturday healing mass at CSC. Then last year 2009, it was announced that they needed altar servers there. Nat was keen and for once, daddy was ready to commit to bringing the boy to the trainings and all that... and so we became more committed to that place. Nat started to serve in more masses and our family started to go there more. God sure works in His own amazing ways!

This Easter, Nat also did his debut serve in Christ the King Church. Nat also told mummy this.....

Nat: Mummy, I don't want to get married next time. I want to be like Father William. I want to train under him and be a good priest like him.

I smiled and said.... PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!

Jerry watches his brother Nat serve mass and start to join his hands and bow and swing whatever he gets on his hands saying he is doing the incensing.... I know this little one can't wait to grow up, stand and walk and serve the Lord.

so we bring him to his Catechesis of the Good Shepherd every Sunday and recently, he is learning the colours



learn it well, Jerry. You're on your way... You'll have no problem when you enter the vestry next time *wink*

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Urologist update

Bleah... I was kinda blown over and beaten when I brought little Jere for his check up on the 25th March. The dear dr Y decided to throw me all the tests and what nots yet again! Standard procedure I suppose.

Our appointment was 1140am and we reached there on time. but waited till 1pm still not Jere's turn. I then asked the nurse if Jere needed any routine urine test. Staff R then said ok she will go ask the dr. The minutes were ticking by and I knew I had to chase them as Nat was waiting for me in school. Though I had forewarned him that I was going to be late, I did not want to be too too late. The nurse came out soon after and said yes but asked me to wait.
I said...can I do it myself?
She said no... no.
I said ok, please hurry then, my older boy is waiting for me to fetch him from school.
Soon after, I was asked to go into the treatment room and they got ready to catheter Jere's urine out for the test.

The staff and nurse manager talking among themselves: we send for 2 la ah?
Me: what test are u going to send for? the usual standard FEME?
Staff: Probaly FEME and culture
Me: FEME can liao la. FEME results come out, normal blood count want to do culture for what?
Staff: er... mummy, we gotta ask dr first

Dr came in....
Dr: wah... mummy you bully my nurse ah? you can do the Clean Intermittent Catheter (CIC) yourself right?

Me:(almost dumbfounded) Well, I offered. Your nurse want to do herself, what can I do?

I thought it was rather strange for the Dr to greet me that way. The hospital has signs to protect their staff saying that people cannot abuse them verbally. What about the other way round?

Dr: Ok, mummy, we gotta do all the tests again. It's been about 1 year since we did any tests.

Me: errrrrr.... what tests?

Dr: (flipping thru the thick file) Ultrasound, MCU, UDS, DMSA. I will order them all for you. You make a date with my nurses ok?

Me: Must we do all of them? Can we just do the basics? Like just the ultrasound?

Dr: No, mummy. These are all the basics.

and so.....

Lined up....

1.Ultrasound
A renal ultrasound is a safe and painless test that uses sound waves to make images of the kidneys, ureters, and bladder.

The kidneys are a pair of bean-shaped organs located toward the back of the abdominal cavity, just above the waist. They remove waste products from the blood and produce urine. The ureters are thin tubes that carry the urine to the bladder.

During the examination, an ultrasound machine sends sound waves into the kidney area and images are recorded on a computer. The black-and-white images show the internal structure of the kidneys and related organs.

Why It's Done
Doctors order renal ultrasounds when there's a concern about certain types of kidney or bladder problems. In Jerry's case, a neurogenic bladder.
Renal ultrasound tests can show:

•the size of the kidneys
•signs of injury to the kidneys
•abnormalities present since birth
•the presence of blockages or kidney stones
•complications of a urinary tract infection (UTI)
•cysts or tumors

2.MCU
[1] The MCU remains essential and a primary tool for the diagnosis and evaluation of infants and young children with many genitourinary disorders, and this procedure is used to obtain specific diag­nostic information not already provided by other imaging modalities. The MCU demons­trates anatomy of both the bladder and urethra and the presence or absence of vesicouretral reflux (VUR); it also provides information about the function and co-ordination of the bladder and urethral sphincter. [2] It remains the investigation of choice for delineating the anatomy and determining the function of the lower urogenital tract.

Simply said, Jere is having an MCU to find out if he has problems with his bladder or urethra or a condition called urinary reflux. An MCU is an x-ray test of the bladder as it fills and empties. We've done this a couple of times and everytime we do this, jerry comes out in tears and traumatised. This is what they do.
He is made to lie in the "space shuttle" and gently restrained by some velcro belts.
a nurse or doctor will clean the area around the opening of the urethra (the tube from which urine passes out of the bladder) with a mild antiseptic and then insert a catheter (a soft thin plastic tube) up through the urethra and into the bladder
the catheter connects to a bottle of contrast (dye)
the bladder is slowly filled with the dye
the dye allows the bladder to be seen on x-rays
the doctor, or x-ray technologist, will take x-ray pictures while Jerry is weeing
the doctor checks these; if they are okay the catheter is removed
the solution is washed off before a final x-ray

3.UDS
A urodynamics study is a series of tests that gives the doctor a detailed look at the function of the bladder and urethra. These tests can help the doctor evaluate any problems with storing urine or voiding (eliminating) urine from the body.
The lower part of the urinary tract includes the bladder (which stores urine until you’re ready to release it) and the urethra (the canal that carries urine from the bladder out of the body). Signals from the brain tell the sphincter (muscles around the opening of the bladder) when to relax and the bladder when to contract to let urine flow out of the body.

Jere is said to Need a Urodynamics Study to assess the neurogenic bladder as he's a spina bifida baby and these children are believed to not empty their bladder completely since their urine stream seems weak and intermittent. According to the drs at his birth, the spincter is not opening when it should to release the urine

4.DMSA
A DMSA renal scan is a diagnostic imaging procedure that is used to evaluate the anatomy and physiology of the kidneys. Some radiopharmaceutical called Technetium-99m DMSA will be injected into the child's veins. After the injection, the child will be free to leave the department and will be given a time to return for imaging, typically three to four hours after the injection. This delay allows the kidneys to absorb the radiopharmaceutical. When you return, you/your child will be asked to void and imaging will begin. Imaging will be approximately 30-60 minutes. It is important that the child remain as still as possible to allow for the best possible images. Thus in a case like Jere, he gotta be put to sleep! which i do not like at all... in other words, he will be put on GA if the medicine to knock him out does not work. And of course, the child may experience the discomfort associated with the insertion of the intravenous needle. I do remember the drs could not locate Jere's vein and ended up poking him at his feet and hands all. Once the radiopharmaceutical is injected, the needle is withdrawn and a gauze bandage with adhesive tape is placed over the site of the injection. The area where the injection was given may be a little sore or rather very sore for a little child.

Came home and talked to Tim. I did not like the DMSA at all. I remember doing it when Jerry was barely one and this procedure involved injecting a nuclear medicine in and putting him in the "space shuttle". Of course, the MCU also involves the darn space shuttle too. The ultrasound is the least invasive and I really don't feel like doing anything except for the basic basic ultrasound.
Yikes!

Lord, please guide me and tim to make the best decisions for Jeremiah. We know You got plans for Jeremiah Lord. Plans to prosper, not to destroy.

Please pray for us that we will listen to God's prompting and make God-led decisions.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Stuff we use for Jerry's Skin

We have tried and tested so many products for Jerry's skin. What worked for one need not work for another. This is just a record of what we have used.

Medicines:
1.Hydrocortisone
2.Foban
3.Bactroban
4.Elomet
5.Elidel
6.Dermanol

Organic and Naturals
1. Akin
2. Jericho's sea Mud and salts and body butter
3. Perfect Potion Calendula infused oil
4. Natralia Nourish Eczema and Psoriasis Cream
5. Hero stick
6. Baby Balm
7. Earth Mama, Angel baby
8. California Baby's Calendula, Aloe Vera

Off the Shelf stuff
1. Body Shop Shea Body Butter
2. Boots Baby Bath, shampoo and lotion (from Bangkok)
3. Palmer's Olive Butter
4. Palmer's cocoa butter

Our conclusion: Boots baby products works well for little jerry so if any of you are going bangkok, do us this big favour to bring it back and we will come pick it from you at the airport and even fetch u home :)

We have stopped all steroidal stuff for Jerry and using the Boots baby stuff and organic calendula oil when the skin is really dry and Natralia when it's red.

Thank you Lord for bringing us the right things :)

Friday, March 19, 2010

Jerry's skin is healed :)

Praise the Lord! Jerry's skin is healed.

Thank you Lord for leading us to the various things that helped Jerry's skin to get better.

From the last post in January, we watched Jerry's diet real close, making sure that there was no milk products to trigger anything. We told him he cannot kneel on the church floor as the dust would trigger his eczema. Hence, we put him on the seat to kneel.

We realised what were the products to use for cleaning him. Boots baby products worked really well for him. Gentle enough for him and yet he smell good. By right, for these sensitive skin, they are supposed to use fragrance free products but .... :P then we use the e.excel antibacterial wash when it gets really red to wash away the bacteria and we apply the natralia eczema cream.

Also, we used some homeopathic drops to help him to build up his resistance to dairy products and dust. We also started to give him fish oil to help give his skin more oil? :P He's looking great now :) Here's a pic of him this march holidays while he was playing sand at Tioman

Friday, January 29, 2010

Eczema strikes again!

Started from the 21st with little red dots at the thigh.
What triggered it? We weren't sure. Maybe it was the diet? Coz Mummy added so little scallop bits in the brocolli to try. Before we could nap the culprit, Jerry's whole body kinda flared in the next few days.
What triggered?
Only conclusion.... DUST MITES! Daddy allowed him to kneel in church and he probably got the allergy of dust mites triggered.
RED AND ANGRY Jerry's whole body became!
"MURDER" took place the next few nights and days whenever he slept. His bed sheets would be covered with blood. Not little spots but whole big patches! His neck was scratched till all bloody and raw. He can't even hold his violin up with his neck. He screamed everytime we take him to the bath as if it was chickens to the slaughter. Poor baby!

Lord, I pray for healing and wholeness for Jeremiah. I pray that sickness and infirmity will have no place or power in his life. I pray for protection against any disease coming into his body. Whenever there's sickness , disease or infirmity in his body, Lord I pray that you would just touch him with Your healing power and restore him to perfect health. Deliver him from any destruction or injury that would come upon him. Specifically Lord, now i ask You to heal Jeremiah of his eczema. Thank You Lord. I lay claim to the heritage of healing which You have promised in Your Word. Your Word in Psalm 107:20 says, "He sent His word and healed them and delivered them from their destruction". Lord I look to You for a life of health, healing and wholeness for my child. This I ask in the mighty name of Jesus. AMEN!

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Blessed New Year!

It's the 6th day of the New Year and before I start,

A BLESSED NEW YEAR TO ALL! WORK HARD! PLAY HARD! LOVE HARD! SEIZE THE DAY! XOXOXO

Thank You Lord for bringing me thru 2009 and helping me to see 2010 with a new light!

We started our new year at Catholic Spiritual Centre, celebrating mass at 10.30pm, counting down and fellowship with nice warm porridge. Jeremiah came home saying," Mummy, I like the salty porridge at CSC." :P No, it wasn't salty at all... in fact, it was really quite yummy....coz we never put salt or msg in the food we cook especially for Jere and maybe jere's vocab is quite limited :P We came home at almost 1.30am. We had a great time and what other Beautiful way to kick start yet another year abundant full of blessings.... :)

Dare to dream. Live that dream. Together we will scale greater heights!
God bless!