It's amazing how where we always go, we feel His presence so strongly.
This is the second Wednesday where we spend our afternoon up on the third floor of a shophouse in HongKong Street to do our physical program with Jere. I remember the first time when we stepped out of there, my dear husband said, it felt like the apostles worshipping up at the attic. Somehow, we were led here to spend our afternoon every Wednesday. The place is run by a church ministry. All very kind people doing it out of love. The children and parents we have met there are really amazing. They also got a really beautiful name called CLOUDS OF PRAISE. They start and end each session with a prayer and a song of praise in chinese and the cutest thing is Jere sings with them. Jere will go 赞美主(Praise the Lord!) Alleluia! and 因主爱我! (because He loves me!)
After the session, I went one street down and bought the boys a plate of hor fun and fed them their dinner. After feeding them, I took a walk with them to Peninsula Plaza to buy the organic eczema oil for Jere. It seemed to be the only oil right now that is working for him. Jere's eczema flared up so so bad after I used the aqueous cream prescribed by the drs. Usually I would have tested whatever I was using on a small segment but when I applied that cream on Jere, somehow, I don't know why, I just heeded the advise from the dr and pharmacist of applying it liberally all over and the next thing I know, Jere's skin flared so bad that he looked like he was burnt from head to toe. If his urologist had seen him, she would have immediately got me locked up and not just accuse me of neglect and abuse. We prayed and prayed about it. We were so worried but yet we did not dare to make any appointment with any dr to review it as we were afraid they were just gonna give more steroids and things that would do Jere harm. Then last Tuesday, someone told me to go to peninsula to look for a timer that I needed for Jere's program activities and somehow instead of finding the timer, I ended up at this organic shop called Eden and got my hands on the eczema oil that did wonders for Jere. It was the only oil that Jere would allow us to apply on his face to clear the eczema. Thank God for that! Yesterday when we were at the Eden organic shop to buy the eczema oil again, the boss and his wife so very kindly suggested praying for Jere. Frankie the boss started the prayer saying, "Lord, it's by no coincidence that this mummy here brought in her son to get something for her son's eczema..... " then they laid hands and prayed over Jere. Tears welled in my eyes as they prayed. It just made me feel that every step we were taking, God is with us. People always asked me, "What do you mean you don't have peace to do it?" It's this. God's peace just transcends when He's with you.
After that, Tim came to fetch us and the kids all fell asleep in the car after a tiring day. I rushed to the supermarket once I settled the kids at home and when I entered the supermarket, yes our local supermarket, the Fairprice, there was this song playing so so quietly in the background that it melted all my anxiety, my fatigue.... It was a song that we sang at praise and worship at healing mass last Saturday at St Michael's.
"You Raise Me Up"
When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.
You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.
You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.
There is no life - no life without its hunger;
Each restless heart beats so imperfectly;
But when you come and I am filled with wonder,
Sometimes, I think I glimpse eternity.
You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.
You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.
You raise me up... To more than I can be.
I knew then he was right there beside me.....
Thank You Lord!
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Friday, August 15, 2008
How July flew us by....
It's a Thursday night, almost approaching Friday, exactly mid August, 2008. I was nursing Jere to sleep and I was thinking so much..... How I wish everything that went through my mind would just be penned down here.
It had been a hectic month of July!
Initially I had thought to write the whole of July straight but after I started writing, I decided to break them up coz the whole post is just too long....
so here goes....
Jeremiah turns 2! Praise the Lord!
July 5th, we celebrated Jere's 2nd birthday with our family and a couple of baby friends of Jere. We had a great time, Jere was blessed with lotsa love, prayers and gifts. Thank You everyone. I promise to upload the pictures soon.
The follow-up urologist visit
July 10th, I went to the hospital as promised 2 weeks after the last to meet with another parent and hopefully to have made a decision for Jere regarding his medical situation. I was a little apprehensive when I headed for the hospital as Tim could not take leave and I haven't finished the book of Jeremiah and thus don't have an answer to the solution. I prayed as I went. God went before me. The other parent could not make it and the dr told her nurse to tell me to come back on July 31st when the other patient had an appointment. Thank God. Praise the Lord!
Our visit to National Skin Centre
July 18th, we were referred to the National Skin Centre for Jere's eczema problem. The people at registration were really nice. There was hardly any wait. We saw the medical officer almost immediately and she called the consultant in to see Jere also which we found out later was the emeritus consultant. Jere was prescribed some steroidal creams and aquaes cream for his skin. Next appointment 27th August 2008.
KorKor Nat school registration
July 17th & 18th, I was monitoring the vacancies of Primary school more eagerly than that of stocks :P It was time to register Nat in Primary One. We wanted a mission school, a good school and a school that is convenient for us. There were clearly 2 choices. Catholic High School which was within 2km of where we stayed and we had a direct bus right in front of our block to the school in 10 min. St Joseph Institution Junior (SJI Jr) which was walking distance of Novena MRT and Novena MRT is just 4 stations from Ang Mo Kio MRT which is 5 min walk from our place.
We hoped Nat would get into Cat High coz his God brother Owen was in there and it would be good for Godma and me :) but by the end of Day 1 of registration, we were told out of 1km need not apply as within 1km was already balloting. So we headed down to SJI. As it neared the closing time, there was still chance for balloting for those out of 2km so I decided if God left the door open, no matter how small, I would just try. So we applied and waited for balloting day on the 23rd July.
July 23rd, Tim and I took leave to witness the balloting. We were one of the 40 people vying for 10 places in the school. The last number was called. It was 221 and unfortunately we were 223! Sigh! I never thought not being able to get your son into your choice school could be so disappointing, so upsetting , so... undescribable.
I had wanted Nat to get into that school coz I liked their school Motto very much... which calls upon Josephians to be in communion with, and to be guided by God through prayer; and to always work conscientiously in learning and growth, and in service to God, especially in uplifting the last and the least amongst us. Also, I wanted Nat to get in as It would be easier for me as Jere still visits KKH pretty often and it would be most convenient for me to fetch and send the boys as usually I catch the shuttle service to KKH from Novena MRT station too.
My so desolated look was caught by the darn chinese evening tabloid and that night, I got infamous among the ah soh and ah pek at the void deck of our block. Nah.... just kidding, thank goodness, the aunties and ah peks never read paper that day :P but nevertheless, our dear neighbour Shirley and family caught it and told me. She even gave me a copy of the papers for keepsake. Gosh! I really looked sad in the papers :P We had to try applying again in Phase 2c next week.
July 29th 30th, 31st, I was monitoring again. Cat High and SJI Jr had no chance at all. The doors were closed. SHUT! TIGHT! At 2 plus, there were still over 10 places in Maris Stella. We thought we were headed there. Came 3 plus no more vacancies for out of 2km. We then headed to St Gabriel's at Lor Chuan. We were the last registrant there and we secured a place. Thank God! coz the last thing we would want is not getting our child into a mission school as we thought faith formation in a child is really important.
The meeting with the other parent
July 31st, I headed down to KKH myself with Jere. I was kinda afraid coz Tim had used up lotsa leave for Nat's registration so I was left to face it alone. I prayed that God would go with me and before me. I reached the hospital and at registration the urologist dr came by.
Dr: Hello Mummy! I'm glad you came. How? Have you come to a decision?
Me: No Dr.
Dr: OH....The fact that you came is already very good. Meet up with Ivan's parents later then you see me ok.
Me: Ok Dr.
Soon, I was led into a room with Jere, given chairs to sit and a Filipino lady in her early 40s and a Chinese man in his 40s also came into the room with a 5 yr old walking awkwardly behind them. The lady seemed a little defensive initially until I showed her Jere's operation scar and Jere's feet.
We had a chat and found out Ivan was one of their twin sons. The other son was perfectly ok. Ivan also had Spina Bifida Meningocele. He was born in Philippines and was only operated at 5 weeks. The parents then brought the child to Singapore and Ivan was then operated again at 5 or 6 months. They cannot remember for sure. The dr then had given them an option of operating lower down and having his lower half affected or operating higher and then having a possibility of having a shunt operation later in the head. They decided the former. They then took out Ivan's shoes and socks and showed me that Ivan also had his feet operated. They shared with me that after the op on the spine, the feet seemed to turn inwards. Thus, as advised by the doctors, they had his feet operated. So now, the feet turned out instead of inwards. They then told me that their son started to walk after the operation. The urologist dr then came in and added in... "yeah... the operation is so easy!" The dr then cut us short and the family went with her. Somehow, I don't know why, I kinda followed the family when they went into the treatment room. I saw how Ivan sustained a pee and how the mother catheterised Ivan after and he did not seem to mind at all.
After the meeting, I just felt so inspired, so motivated and so convinced that my child would walk and his pee can be normal. AMEN! It would not be like what the drs said... catheter all life, wheelchair bound... walk with walking aids.. NEVER!
That kinda wrapped up our month of July.
It had been a hectic month of July!
Initially I had thought to write the whole of July straight but after I started writing, I decided to break them up coz the whole post is just too long....
so here goes....
Jeremiah turns 2! Praise the Lord!
July 5th, we celebrated Jere's 2nd birthday with our family and a couple of baby friends of Jere. We had a great time, Jere was blessed with lotsa love, prayers and gifts. Thank You everyone. I promise to upload the pictures soon.
The follow-up urologist visit
July 10th, I went to the hospital as promised 2 weeks after the last to meet with another parent and hopefully to have made a decision for Jere regarding his medical situation. I was a little apprehensive when I headed for the hospital as Tim could not take leave and I haven't finished the book of Jeremiah and thus don't have an answer to the solution. I prayed as I went. God went before me. The other parent could not make it and the dr told her nurse to tell me to come back on July 31st when the other patient had an appointment. Thank God. Praise the Lord!
Our visit to National Skin Centre
July 18th, we were referred to the National Skin Centre for Jere's eczema problem. The people at registration were really nice. There was hardly any wait. We saw the medical officer almost immediately and she called the consultant in to see Jere also which we found out later was the emeritus consultant. Jere was prescribed some steroidal creams and aquaes cream for his skin. Next appointment 27th August 2008.
KorKor Nat school registration
July 17th & 18th, I was monitoring the vacancies of Primary school more eagerly than that of stocks :P It was time to register Nat in Primary One. We wanted a mission school, a good school and a school that is convenient for us. There were clearly 2 choices. Catholic High School which was within 2km of where we stayed and we had a direct bus right in front of our block to the school in 10 min. St Joseph Institution Junior (SJI Jr) which was walking distance of Novena MRT and Novena MRT is just 4 stations from Ang Mo Kio MRT which is 5 min walk from our place.
We hoped Nat would get into Cat High coz his God brother Owen was in there and it would be good for Godma and me :) but by the end of Day 1 of registration, we were told out of 1km need not apply as within 1km was already balloting. So we headed down to SJI. As it neared the closing time, there was still chance for balloting for those out of 2km so I decided if God left the door open, no matter how small, I would just try. So we applied and waited for balloting day on the 23rd July.
July 23rd, Tim and I took leave to witness the balloting. We were one of the 40 people vying for 10 places in the school. The last number was called. It was 221 and unfortunately we were 223! Sigh! I never thought not being able to get your son into your choice school could be so disappointing, so upsetting , so... undescribable.
I had wanted Nat to get into that school coz I liked their school Motto very much... which calls upon Josephians to be in communion with, and to be guided by God through prayer; and to always work conscientiously in learning and growth, and in service to God, especially in uplifting the last and the least amongst us. Also, I wanted Nat to get in as It would be easier for me as Jere still visits KKH pretty often and it would be most convenient for me to fetch and send the boys as usually I catch the shuttle service to KKH from Novena MRT station too.
My so desolated look was caught by the darn chinese evening tabloid and that night, I got infamous among the ah soh and ah pek at the void deck of our block. Nah.... just kidding, thank goodness, the aunties and ah peks never read paper that day :P but nevertheless, our dear neighbour Shirley and family caught it and told me. She even gave me a copy of the papers for keepsake. Gosh! I really looked sad in the papers :P We had to try applying again in Phase 2c next week.
July 29th 30th, 31st, I was monitoring again. Cat High and SJI Jr had no chance at all. The doors were closed. SHUT! TIGHT! At 2 plus, there were still over 10 places in Maris Stella. We thought we were headed there. Came 3 plus no more vacancies for out of 2km. We then headed to St Gabriel's at Lor Chuan. We were the last registrant there and we secured a place. Thank God! coz the last thing we would want is not getting our child into a mission school as we thought faith formation in a child is really important.
The meeting with the other parent
July 31st, I headed down to KKH myself with Jere. I was kinda afraid coz Tim had used up lotsa leave for Nat's registration so I was left to face it alone. I prayed that God would go with me and before me. I reached the hospital and at registration the urologist dr came by.
Dr: Hello Mummy! I'm glad you came. How? Have you come to a decision?
Me: No Dr.
Dr: OH....The fact that you came is already very good. Meet up with Ivan's parents later then you see me ok.
Me: Ok Dr.
Soon, I was led into a room with Jere, given chairs to sit and a Filipino lady in her early 40s and a Chinese man in his 40s also came into the room with a 5 yr old walking awkwardly behind them. The lady seemed a little defensive initially until I showed her Jere's operation scar and Jere's feet.
We had a chat and found out Ivan was one of their twin sons. The other son was perfectly ok. Ivan also had Spina Bifida Meningocele. He was born in Philippines and was only operated at 5 weeks. The parents then brought the child to Singapore and Ivan was then operated again at 5 or 6 months. They cannot remember for sure. The dr then had given them an option of operating lower down and having his lower half affected or operating higher and then having a possibility of having a shunt operation later in the head. They decided the former. They then took out Ivan's shoes and socks and showed me that Ivan also had his feet operated. They shared with me that after the op on the spine, the feet seemed to turn inwards. Thus, as advised by the doctors, they had his feet operated. So now, the feet turned out instead of inwards. They then told me that their son started to walk after the operation. The urologist dr then came in and added in... "yeah... the operation is so easy!" The dr then cut us short and the family went with her. Somehow, I don't know why, I kinda followed the family when they went into the treatment room. I saw how Ivan sustained a pee and how the mother catheterised Ivan after and he did not seem to mind at all.
After the meeting, I just felt so inspired, so motivated and so convinced that my child would walk and his pee can be normal. AMEN! It would not be like what the drs said... catheter all life, wheelchair bound... walk with walking aids.. NEVER!
That kinda wrapped up our month of July.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Quit?
Nat: Mummy, can you not quit?
Me: What quit?
Nat: Quit.
Me: (getting a little irritated) What quit? (not knowing that Nat had been overhearing the conversations that I had with the dear husband about quitting my job and going intensive with Jeremiah's programs)
Nat: Quit. Can you not quit?
Me: What quit Nat?
Nat: Quit your job.
Me: Why Nat?
Nat: Coz a real warrior never quits.
Me: (quite taken a back that this should have come from my not even 6 yr old) Oh Nat.
There was a moment of silence.
It's funny how our decision to quit my job can affect the kid. Maybe he thought that he would never be able to go to mummy's fun office again if mummy quits the job. Nat enjoys going into my office. He loves going to the breakout area to play fusball and pressing a cup of iced milo from the vending machine and chatting with all the friendly uncles and aunties around and best of all get all the toys and premiums from mummy's office. Even Jere at 2 years old can say "I want to go mummy's office!" No kidding!
Me: (breaking the silence)Daddy's decided the warrior should stay home and take care of the home nation coz we gonna build the home nation and make it real strong! As long as the home nation is strong, all else is unshakeable. By the way Nat, where did you learn "A real warrior never quits" ?
Nat: (smiling) KUNGFU PANDA!
I tendered my resignation on May 16, 2008. Actually, I had wanted to quit and work with Jere since the Glenn Doman's "What to do with your brain injured child" course but I lacked the courage and the peace to do it. Yes I was worried financially with all the medical expenses and what nots... After 1 year of praying, the Lord finally gave me the courage and peace to do it. Well, it took me a good whole year to finally take the leap of faith that our God provides and quit the job and answer to my calling... motherhood. I know if I don't quit now and help Jere stand and walk, I will regret for the rest of my life.
Lord, thank you for giving me the courage to do this and helping me to discern. Lord grant me the wisdom to do what's right for the children and bless me in all that I do. AMEN!
Me: What quit?
Nat: Quit.
Me: (getting a little irritated) What quit? (not knowing that Nat had been overhearing the conversations that I had with the dear husband about quitting my job and going intensive with Jeremiah's programs)
Nat: Quit. Can you not quit?
Me: What quit Nat?
Nat: Quit your job.
Me: Why Nat?
Nat: Coz a real warrior never quits.
Me: (quite taken a back that this should have come from my not even 6 yr old) Oh Nat.
There was a moment of silence.
It's funny how our decision to quit my job can affect the kid. Maybe he thought that he would never be able to go to mummy's fun office again if mummy quits the job. Nat enjoys going into my office. He loves going to the breakout area to play fusball and pressing a cup of iced milo from the vending machine and chatting with all the friendly uncles and aunties around and best of all get all the toys and premiums from mummy's office. Even Jere at 2 years old can say "I want to go mummy's office!" No kidding!
Me: (breaking the silence)Daddy's decided the warrior should stay home and take care of the home nation coz we gonna build the home nation and make it real strong! As long as the home nation is strong, all else is unshakeable. By the way Nat, where did you learn "A real warrior never quits" ?
Nat: (smiling) KUNGFU PANDA!
I tendered my resignation on May 16, 2008. Actually, I had wanted to quit and work with Jere since the Glenn Doman's "What to do with your brain injured child" course but I lacked the courage and the peace to do it. Yes I was worried financially with all the medical expenses and what nots... After 1 year of praying, the Lord finally gave me the courage and peace to do it. Well, it took me a good whole year to finally take the leap of faith that our God provides and quit the job and answer to my calling... motherhood. I know if I don't quit now and help Jere stand and walk, I will regret for the rest of my life.
Lord, thank you for giving me the courage to do this and helping me to discern. Lord grant me the wisdom to do what's right for the children and bless me in all that I do. AMEN!
Who's the boss?
The boys were having lunch together....
As usual, Nat was fiddling with his food and not that keen in whatever he was eating.
Then suddenly our dear Jere went "KORKOR! EAT PROPERLY!"
No, I'm not kidding.... Jere said that and the helper was also shocked. She was trying to control her laughter and when she saw me burst out laughing, she said, " I thought that should be the other way round...."
Now, who's the older one? :P
As usual, Nat was fiddling with his food and not that keen in whatever he was eating.
Then suddenly our dear Jere went "KORKOR! EAT PROPERLY!"
No, I'm not kidding.... Jere said that and the helper was also shocked. She was trying to control her laughter and when she saw me burst out laughing, she said, " I thought that should be the other way round...."
Now, who's the older one? :P
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Two more days
and Jere turns 2! Praise the Lord!
This is a picture taken last year when we celebrated Jere's first birthday with our family and friends with a simple home cooked food and a symbolic figure 1 cake :)
This year, what's in store for Jere?
Mummy's planning a little party with the family and a few baby friends, following the rule that she read on a magazine of the number of guests should be the age of the child plus 2 so Jere can have 4 guests and that's it :) Let's see if mummy can keep to it :) Mummy always get a little carried away when it comes to parties :)
4 guests? Who shall we have? Babies of the same year?
Godsis megan? Jeremy? Riley? Cadence? Lecea? Oops! looks like we gonna exceed the number! :P
Thank you Lord for your wonderful blessings upon Jeremiah!
We continue to ask of your prayers for Jeremiah to knock upon God's door to heal Jeremiah completely. That Jeremiah will be able to stand and walk and his neurogenic bladder will be healed and all other forms of complications from the spina bifida be healed. May Jere be restored to perfect health in the mighty name of Jesus. AMEN!
I thank my God
I thank my God each time I think of You!
And when I pray for you, I pray with joy.
1. Now there is one thing I am sure of,
He who began His work in you.
Will see that it is truly finished,
When the day of Jesus comes
2. That I should feel like this towards you
Seems only natural to me.
For you have shared with me my labours!
The Gospel privilege with me!
3.Since you have borne with me my burdens,
I now bear you within my heart!
And God alone knows how I miss you!
I love you just as Christ loves me!
4. I pray your knowledge will be deepened!
Your love be mutual and strong!
Then you will reach the perfect goodness!
Then to the Lord you will belong!
This is a picture taken last year when we celebrated Jere's first birthday with our family and friends with a simple home cooked food and a symbolic figure 1 cake :)
This year, what's in store for Jere?
Mummy's planning a little party with the family and a few baby friends, following the rule that she read on a magazine of the number of guests should be the age of the child plus 2 so Jere can have 4 guests and that's it :) Let's see if mummy can keep to it :) Mummy always get a little carried away when it comes to parties :)
4 guests? Who shall we have? Babies of the same year?
Godsis megan? Jeremy? Riley? Cadence? Lecea? Oops! looks like we gonna exceed the number! :P
Thank you Lord for your wonderful blessings upon Jeremiah!
We continue to ask of your prayers for Jeremiah to knock upon God's door to heal Jeremiah completely. That Jeremiah will be able to stand and walk and his neurogenic bladder will be healed and all other forms of complications from the spina bifida be healed. May Jere be restored to perfect health in the mighty name of Jesus. AMEN!
I thank my God
I thank my God each time I think of You!
And when I pray for you, I pray with joy.
1. Now there is one thing I am sure of,
He who began His work in you.
Will see that it is truly finished,
When the day of Jesus comes
2. That I should feel like this towards you
Seems only natural to me.
For you have shared with me my labours!
The Gospel privilege with me!
3.Since you have borne with me my burdens,
I now bear you within my heart!
And God alone knows how I miss you!
I love you just as Christ loves me!
4. I pray your knowledge will be deepened!
Your love be mutual and strong!
Then you will reach the perfect goodness!
Then to the Lord you will belong!
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
The night after the urologist follow-up
That night, Tim and I went down for a walk to 7-Eleven on the pretext of buying bread so we could have a good chat. He seemed heavy. I know it bothered him.
Tim: Is there something you are trying to prove?
Me: No. What do you mean?
Tim: Are you trying to prove something on Jeremiah's expense?
Me: No. I know God has plans for Jeremiah. Plans to prosper. Not to destroy. He will be exalted of the Lord.
Tim: I'm just afraid. If making the decision is for myself, I won't be so afraid.
Me: What are you afraid of? Jeremiah blaming us like the doctor said?
Tim: Yes.
Me: I believe, Jere would not blame us for anything if we bring him up to believe what is right and what is wrong. If he chooses to blame us for anything, then we must have failed as parents and definitely deserve whatever blame there is. I believe that God will heal him.
Tim: So you are trying to prove something?
Me: No. I just feel that God has His purpose in making Jeremiah so and making us journey this life with Jeremiah. Jeremiah was made so that God's works can be seen in him. We will definitely meet with persecutions. Jesus, himself also met with lots of persecutions. No? Did He give up? No. Mother Mary saw her son suffered, but still she had absolute faith in God, our father. Mother Mary surrendered everything to our Lord. I just feel that we should just pray and have faith and surrender ourselves to Him too. Be not afraid. God goes before us always. I know there is nothing beyond our God. He is a faithful God and we just gotta stay faithful to Him.
Tim was really silent for a long while.
Me: Are you ok? So are you still worried? Disturbed?
Tim: No. I am at peace now after hearing what you said.
Me: You know what? The doctor gave us 2 weeks! Two weeks from the 26th June..... 10th July.The doctor told us to go read up on neurogenic bladder and come to a decision of a vesicostomy or do the 3 hourly Clean Intermittent Catheterisation (CIC)
When I left the clinic that day, I've already had this in mind. Read up on neurogenic bladder? No! That's not where I gonna find my answer. I had this prompting to read the book of Jeremiah and that's where I gonna find my answer. Shall we read it together and discuss about it? We should find our answer in God's word.
Tim: Ok! Let's do it!
I know this may sound almost insane, crazy, ridiculous, absurd to many of you... How could we find the answer in the bible you may say. But this is what we've decided to do so if any of you wanna join us on this journey, pick up your bible and read the whole book of Jeremiah and we can all share our thoughts about it.
Lord, help us to find the answer in your word.
Open my eyes that I may see
Glimpses of truth Thou hast for me;
Place in my hands the wonderful key
That shall unclasp and set me free.
Silently now I wait for Thee,
Ready, my God, Thy will to see;
Open my eyes, illumine me,
Spirit Divine!
Open my ears that I may hear
Voices of truth Thou sendest clear;
And while the wave notes fall on my ear,
Everything false will disappear.
Open my mouth and let me bear
Tidings of mercy everywhere;
open my heart and let me prepare
Love with Thy children thus to share.
Open my mind that I may read
More of Thy love in word and deed;
What shall I fear while yet Thou dost lead?
Only for light from Thee I plead.
Tim: Is there something you are trying to prove?
Me: No. What do you mean?
Tim: Are you trying to prove something on Jeremiah's expense?
Me: No. I know God has plans for Jeremiah. Plans to prosper. Not to destroy. He will be exalted of the Lord.
Tim: I'm just afraid. If making the decision is for myself, I won't be so afraid.
Me: What are you afraid of? Jeremiah blaming us like the doctor said?
Tim: Yes.
Me: I believe, Jere would not blame us for anything if we bring him up to believe what is right and what is wrong. If he chooses to blame us for anything, then we must have failed as parents and definitely deserve whatever blame there is. I believe that God will heal him.
Tim: So you are trying to prove something?
Me: No. I just feel that God has His purpose in making Jeremiah so and making us journey this life with Jeremiah. Jeremiah was made so that God's works can be seen in him. We will definitely meet with persecutions. Jesus, himself also met with lots of persecutions. No? Did He give up? No. Mother Mary saw her son suffered, but still she had absolute faith in God, our father. Mother Mary surrendered everything to our Lord. I just feel that we should just pray and have faith and surrender ourselves to Him too. Be not afraid. God goes before us always. I know there is nothing beyond our God. He is a faithful God and we just gotta stay faithful to Him.
Tim was really silent for a long while.
Me: Are you ok? So are you still worried? Disturbed?
Tim: No. I am at peace now after hearing what you said.
Me: You know what? The doctor gave us 2 weeks! Two weeks from the 26th June..... 10th July.The doctor told us to go read up on neurogenic bladder and come to a decision of a vesicostomy or do the 3 hourly Clean Intermittent Catheterisation (CIC)
When I left the clinic that day, I've already had this in mind. Read up on neurogenic bladder? No! That's not where I gonna find my answer. I had this prompting to read the book of Jeremiah and that's where I gonna find my answer. Shall we read it together and discuss about it? We should find our answer in God's word.
Tim: Ok! Let's do it!
I know this may sound almost insane, crazy, ridiculous, absurd to many of you... How could we find the answer in the bible you may say. But this is what we've decided to do so if any of you wanna join us on this journey, pick up your bible and read the whole book of Jeremiah and we can all share our thoughts about it.
Lord, help us to find the answer in your word.
Open my eyes that I may see
Glimpses of truth Thou hast for me;
Place in my hands the wonderful key
That shall unclasp and set me free.
Silently now I wait for Thee,
Ready, my God, Thy will to see;
Open my eyes, illumine me,
Spirit Divine!
Open my ears that I may hear
Voices of truth Thou sendest clear;
And while the wave notes fall on my ear,
Everything false will disappear.
Open my mouth and let me bear
Tidings of mercy everywhere;
open my heart and let me prepare
Love with Thy children thus to share.
Open my mind that I may read
More of Thy love in word and deed;
What shall I fear while yet Thou dost lead?
Only for light from Thee I plead.
Times my husband stood up for me.....
At that moment of time when I walked out of the clinic after being accused of neglect and abuse of my child, not one, not two but I really can't recall how many times the dr threw the accusation at my face. I asked myself was it a mistake that I told my dear hubby, Tim to concentrate on his work and telling him I could manage the hospital visit all on my own when he had offered to go with us the night before.
I felt so lousy that on the impulse, I took out my mobile and dialled his number as I walked out of the clinic. Sobbing into the phone and almost crying my whole heart out, I must have frightened Tim. I related what had happened in the doctor's room with almost all the emotions I had, I think. Almost like an abused puppy that was rendered really helpless, I hung on to the phone as I walked my way up from the basement which was almost like hell on earth at that very moment. I walked to Macdonalds to get my little one a happy meal for his lunch as I was in no condition to try to get a hot bowl of noodles and feed him that. I hung up the phone when I reached Macdonalds and ordered the happy meal for Jeremiah in between my sobs. The staff very kindly told me to take a seat and served it to us in no time. I sat down with Jeremiah and looked at him. I cut up the nuggets for Jere and he started to eat while I was so affected that I did not feel hungry at all though it was way past lunch time.
Before I had realised, twenty minutes had passed and Tim called me back asking where was I and I said I was still in Macdonald's feeding Jere. Before I hung up the mobile, I saw him approaching us.
Tim: Come! I go and speak to the doctor!
Me: For what? They have given us an appointment to see her in 2 weeks.
Tim: No! I want to know what really happened.
Tim then walked towards the clinic, not realising that the clinic had moved to the basement. I then highlighted to him that the clinic was not where he thought and pointed him the right direction. Not really keen to go back there, I said I'll go to the pharmacy to collect Jeremiah's medicine.
We both then went different directions. I went to the pharmacy to drop off the prescription while Tim headed to the Children's surgery centre at the basement. After dropping the prescription, something in me just told me I should head to the basement, knowing how rash my husband can get and angry when his wife is being seen as bullied. When I reached the basement, Tim said the doctor was still there and they would squeeze him in to speak to the doctor. The staff nurse and the senior staff nurse then saw me and asked how come I was back. I explained that my husband wanted to see the Dr. Then they told me the doctor did not mean what she said and surely I understand that. They then brought me into one of their rooms and told me the dr was a good doctor and she was genuinely concerned and had not meant to hurt me at all and hope I would understand that. I then told them that if an educated person like me was intimidated by them, what more would the uneducated feel? Then I told them not to worry and I don't blame the dr but I really just did not appreciate the accusations at all. Then we went out of the room.
It wasn't too long before we were called into the room of the Dr.
Tim: Dr, what is this? what is this that I hear you don't want to see us anymore.... what is this about a court order? What is this about my wife being charged for neglect and abuse?
Tim almost sounded a little rude I felt in questioning the doctor on what is this.... what is this... what is this....
Dr: No Daddy... you guys gotta make a decision. I really don't know how else I could make your wife come to a decision short of threatening her. I feel I have really failed in what I am doing after 2 years you guys still not decided to do the catheterisation.
I was kinda shocked that the doctor admitted to threatening me.
Tim: No Dr, You definitely did not fail. Everytime I walk out of your clinic, I am very affected and would think of your proposal at least for the next few days.
Dr: Then what is holding you back daddy?
Tim: We are not at peace with it.
Dr: What is holding you back? Shall I arrange for you guys to meet other parents who has done it?
Tim: I must tell you first. We may come back with the same decision. NO CIC. NO VASECOSTOMY.
The doctor seemed kinder or rather a little more cordial and polite to Tim. Why? I don't exactly know the reason but maybe Tim was sounding angry and a little forceful.
It was the same conclusion anyhow to return in 2 weeks with the decision we should have come upon and meet with a parent of similar case of child.
We left the clinic and Tim rushed back to office to continue his important conference that he had left abruptly to stand up for his wife.
Thank You Lord for a husband who loves me so dearly
Lord grant Tim the graciousness, the humility and a forgiving spirit when faced with persecution, trials and tribulations. AMEN!
I felt so lousy that on the impulse, I took out my mobile and dialled his number as I walked out of the clinic. Sobbing into the phone and almost crying my whole heart out, I must have frightened Tim. I related what had happened in the doctor's room with almost all the emotions I had, I think. Almost like an abused puppy that was rendered really helpless, I hung on to the phone as I walked my way up from the basement which was almost like hell on earth at that very moment. I walked to Macdonalds to get my little one a happy meal for his lunch as I was in no condition to try to get a hot bowl of noodles and feed him that. I hung up the phone when I reached Macdonalds and ordered the happy meal for Jeremiah in between my sobs. The staff very kindly told me to take a seat and served it to us in no time. I sat down with Jeremiah and looked at him. I cut up the nuggets for Jere and he started to eat while I was so affected that I did not feel hungry at all though it was way past lunch time.
Before I had realised, twenty minutes had passed and Tim called me back asking where was I and I said I was still in Macdonald's feeding Jere. Before I hung up the mobile, I saw him approaching us.
Tim: Come! I go and speak to the doctor!
Me: For what? They have given us an appointment to see her in 2 weeks.
Tim: No! I want to know what really happened.
Tim then walked towards the clinic, not realising that the clinic had moved to the basement. I then highlighted to him that the clinic was not where he thought and pointed him the right direction. Not really keen to go back there, I said I'll go to the pharmacy to collect Jeremiah's medicine.
We both then went different directions. I went to the pharmacy to drop off the prescription while Tim headed to the Children's surgery centre at the basement. After dropping the prescription, something in me just told me I should head to the basement, knowing how rash my husband can get and angry when his wife is being seen as bullied. When I reached the basement, Tim said the doctor was still there and they would squeeze him in to speak to the doctor. The staff nurse and the senior staff nurse then saw me and asked how come I was back. I explained that my husband wanted to see the Dr. Then they told me the doctor did not mean what she said and surely I understand that. They then brought me into one of their rooms and told me the dr was a good doctor and she was genuinely concerned and had not meant to hurt me at all and hope I would understand that. I then told them that if an educated person like me was intimidated by them, what more would the uneducated feel? Then I told them not to worry and I don't blame the dr but I really just did not appreciate the accusations at all. Then we went out of the room.
It wasn't too long before we were called into the room of the Dr.
Tim: Dr, what is this? what is this that I hear you don't want to see us anymore.... what is this about a court order? What is this about my wife being charged for neglect and abuse?
Tim almost sounded a little rude I felt in questioning the doctor on what is this.... what is this... what is this....
Dr: No Daddy... you guys gotta make a decision. I really don't know how else I could make your wife come to a decision short of threatening her. I feel I have really failed in what I am doing after 2 years you guys still not decided to do the catheterisation.
I was kinda shocked that the doctor admitted to threatening me.
Tim: No Dr, You definitely did not fail. Everytime I walk out of your clinic, I am very affected and would think of your proposal at least for the next few days.
Dr: Then what is holding you back daddy?
Tim: We are not at peace with it.
Dr: What is holding you back? Shall I arrange for you guys to meet other parents who has done it?
Tim: I must tell you first. We may come back with the same decision. NO CIC. NO VASECOSTOMY.
The doctor seemed kinder or rather a little more cordial and polite to Tim. Why? I don't exactly know the reason but maybe Tim was sounding angry and a little forceful.
It was the same conclusion anyhow to return in 2 weeks with the decision we should have come upon and meet with a parent of similar case of child.
We left the clinic and Tim rushed back to office to continue his important conference that he had left abruptly to stand up for his wife.
Thank You Lord for a husband who loves me so dearly
Lord grant Tim the graciousness, the humility and a forgiving spirit when faced with persecution, trials and tribulations. AMEN!
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