With a little regret I pen this, reminding myself that I have to move from here and not get stuck. Originally, I had wanted to blog on Nat's blog but somehow feel that this is something more of a mother's thoughts.
Nat is fast growing up. He is turning 8 this year. I am so guilty as charged for "neglect" of Nat since Jere came about. Thank God I am conscious about it and want to do something about it. God sent His angels to me time and again to remind me what I have done or rather what I have not done for Nat.
There's so much joy in bringing up kids. We just gotta focus on what they have done and not what they have not done. Just like what I always tell Jere "Look at what you are able to do and not what you are not able to do" whenever he asks me "Why mummy? Why I cannot walk?" Yet, I always look at Nat and scream at him for the things he has yet to achieve for me.... like when are you gonna see the dentist and get those rotten teeth fixed? When are you gonna start behaving and stop all your nonsense in school? When am I gonna stop getting the complaints from your teachers?????
I look at my two boys. Both are my own. One well and one not quite. It almost seems natural to lean towards the not quite well child and help him in almost everything I could, almost feeling that it's my fault that he is not walking and he is not well and taking for granted that the well child can only get better without my help at all. It never ever occurred to me that my well child was regressing! What are you thinking mummy?????
Of late, I look at Nat and feel that tinge of regret and sadness. He has definitely been neglected much as Tim and I have denied. We try to give him as much as we can... but most of the times I must say is of material stuff. Yes, we fetch him to school, fetch him from school, give him all the extra curricular activities he asked for, namely golf, piano, swimming, violin.... He asked to join the altar servers at Catholic Spiritual Centre and Christ the King and we let him join. He goes for Kumon English and some Chinese Fun Class in Jere's school but the boy seems not too happy. He's lost the sparkle that I used to see. Last Sunday, Nat wet his bed again! This bet-wetting thing had started since Jerry's coming. He used to be dry since he was one plus! then all of it came back when he was about 4. This time, he did not just wet his bed. He even wet himself after mass. Is there a fear in him, too much to handle? Is he going through extreme stress?
He seems to want our attention more than anything else. He's starting to act up a lot in school. Not handing up his art work for 6 weeks. Why haven't we noticed? He told us that he need not hand up those work as he brought them back week after week and yes we took it as that. Making funny noises in class and distracting his friends during lessons to the point that the form teacher called to say she may have to take him to the Discipline Master. Is this all a result of a lacking of attention? or what the teacher say a symptom of a hyper-active child? I am so frus when I see all these happening that I just wanna scream and punish him each time the teacher complains. I was dealing with the boy not wanting to co-operate with the dentist since last year. But has it ever occurred to me that this was all happening because deep down inside, he was really fearful and insecure? Maybe he just wanted more love and attention from his daddy and mummy? Is it a fault to want the love of mummy and daddy just as how they seem to love the little brother? Is it a fault to feel this sense of insecurity? This child is not even eight years old and it must have been too much for him to handle himself. Poor child.
When I am stressed, I can talk back to my boss... which is dear husband since I am a stay at home mum (sahm). I can go get some chocolates in the refridgerator or chips from the cabinets as comfort food. I have my friends to talk to. I know how to seek God in prayer. But our children are not able to do all these! They can't talk back to us. They would have gotten that tight slap for sure. They can't reach out for any comfort food as all those are controlled food for their age. They don't have friends who could listen and advise at that age. They also have not been taught enough to seek God in prayer and contemplation.
Looking at Nat, he is like any other being, wanting to be accepted. He carries around toys he thinks as cool to be more secure and confident. Guess that is his comfort too. He can't talk back at us adults so he snaps at Jere whenever he has that opportunity and that doesn't help at all coz in the process, Jere learns to speak nasty too and we parents get mad at Nat coz he snaps at Jere first.... but have we slowed down to think why did he snap in the first place? He misbehaves and gets some attention though not quite the right kind of attention. He can't seek junk food for comfort to release the stress he is experiencing. His relationship with me, his mummy is a love hate one. He loves me coz I am his mummy, I suppose. I give and provide him a lot, if not all of the stuff that he needs and wants. He hates me for the discipline I deliver. From the horse's mouth itself I got that "mummy don't like me. mummy don't love me." Nat probably does not understand at all when I scream or punish him. He just understands it as hurt. And yes, I may have hurt him both physically and emotionally. It sounds a tad too serious and scary... and yes, sometimes we parents may have done that without realising it. Kids these days are more aware and sensitive. Neither do I understand my outbursts too at times. Have I neglected my prayer life, meditation and contemplation?
How to fix all these?
1. I have to fix myself. Put aside fixed and regular time for prayer, meditation and contemplation.
2. Reconcile with Nat. Heal all those hurts. Just like what Father William always say, we should have our "penitential service" with our spouse and our children.
3. Reconnect with Nat. Do not take for granted his well-being. Set time for Nat.
Nat, I love you and your brother Jeremiah. I pray that I will be a good mother to you children. Thank You Lord Jesus for giving us Mary to be our mother as You said to John "Behold your mother". Lord Jesus, help me in my role of motherhood to maintain an attitude of trust and confidence in God as Mary did. Father Lord, You have plans for these children, help me to be like Mother Mary, how she went through the pain in sharing so closely the mission of her divine son. Father Lord, fill me up and make me whole.
Like the woman at the well I was seeking
For things that could not satisfy;
And then I heard my Savior speaking:
"Draw from my well that never shall run dry".
Fill my cup Lord, I lift it up, Lord!
Come and quench this thirsting of my soul.
Bread of heaven, feed me till I want no more.
Fill my cup, fill it up and make me whole!
There are millions in this world who are craving
The pleasures earthly things afford.
But none can match the wondrous treasure
That I find in Jesus Christ my Lord.
Fill my cup Lord, I lift it up, Lord!
Come and quench this thirsting of my soul.
Bread of heaven, feed me till I want no more.
Fill my cup, fill it up and make me whole!
So, my brother, if the things this world gave you
Leave hungers that won't pass away,
My blessed Lord will come and save you,
If you kneel to Him and humbly pray:
Fill my cup Lord, I lift it up, Lord!
Come and quench this thirsting of my soul.
Bread of heaven, feed me till I want no more.
Fill my cup, fill it up and make me whole!
Showing posts with label Life at large. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life at large. Show all posts
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Monday, February 16, 2009
Confessions of the busy mama
I was knocked out of my sleep at 2.30am with the heat and just could not get back to sleep and was led here to blog my so long overdue post.
Pardon me if I do sound incoherent as it is now like 3am in the morning.
Frankly, I was drained. Overwhelmed. Caught up in my own world. So absorbed in my own challenges and trials that I forgot how much the good Lord has already done in our lives.
Guilt has also a part of knocking me out of sweet slumber as I know I had to do this.
I am feeling so guilty that I was knocked out of my sleep as I kept thinking how I had started this blog wanting to share my faith in Christ after the birth of Jeremiah and what we had and still going through with him but yet many a times I was almost unforgiving about how the drs had dealt with us till it came to a point that I stopped blogging. It's been like months since I did a proper post.
I forgot my first call to evangelize. I ignored the continuous nudges, the continuous prompting of the Holy Spirit. Really! There's so much noise in this world that God's soft prompting is sometimes so easily ignored.
Of course, God worked in His most amazing and wondrous ways. He called again, again and again. Finally, all I can say is "Here I am Lord. Send Me!"
The last nudge that hit me is from the earth angel Eunice and thank you Lord for sending her :)
Last week, after the Chinese New Year was over, I decided to take up the challenge of the 3-4 hourly catheter thing for Jeremiah. Frankly, I was still in much chaos in my heart about the decision. I went to the hospital and waited outside the treatment room at the Children's Surgery Centre waiting to be trained in the thing that I had dreaded so much. Maybe the people in the medical field would think cathetering a spina bifida kid every 3 to 4 hourly would have been the best option taken but to a normal mother like me, it pains me. Yes, it does. Imagine putting a catheter into the penis of a 2 and half year old every 3 to 4 hourly. In case, some of you still do not know what is a catheter, it's a fine tube being inserted through the penis, through the urethra into the urinary bladder to drain the urine. Why is it needed? According to the doctors professional point of view, this catheterization is useful when one is unable to fully empty the urinary bladder and Jeremiah is thought of this way by the doctors that he is unable to do so due to a supposed neurogenic bladder from his open neural tube defect. As I stood outside the room waiting, the mobile rang. It was from the social worker, Eunice of Club Rainbow. We had a short chat and she kinda lightened the mood before we entered the room. Eunice had wanted to meet up with us to give us some milk and diapers but I declined as Jere was allergic to cow's milk and as for his diapers, the little one had expensive bum since birth as we tried cheaper diaper alternatives from the pampers active and the little one had so bad diaper rash till his bum was raw. Then I passed the mobile to the little one to chat and thank Eunice for her kind thoughts.
Eunice: Jere, what do you like to drink?
Jere: (cheekily with a grin on his face) Milo and Coffee.
I was like what??? Jere, you don't drink coffee. Ok, the little one was trying to be a little cheeky. Jere laughed.
We hung up soon as we were next into the room but the coffee line certainly got us all laughing. After we were done that day and went to the pharmacy to get Jere's supply of antibiotics, Eunice called again to check where were we and guess what? The angel appeared with 2 big packs of diapers, a big tin of Milo, a book for Jeremiah and a catholic digest for me. I thought her thoughts and actions were the biggest! It was so sweet and it touched me so, telling me God is so with us on this journey. I was so not looking forward to this catheter training but the phone call itself so reminded me of God's presence and Eunice coming down with all the gifts was almost like an angel sent by Him to tell us He is with us throught it all. Especially with the digest. The digest was called "the WORD among us" has helped to wake me from my self absorption and shallowness. I had started this blog to proclaim His word, to glorify His name since Jere's birth but somehow at the end of last year, along the way I got absorbed into the noise of the world, I conveniently forgot to give glory to Him who has already done so much for us. I know there are many people we see everyday that need to hear us witness to our faith. I told myself then that i gonna revive my somehow dead blog with my very own experiences of the Lord and His working in my heart and mind. Indeed He works in His mysterious ways. How great is our God! When I shared this with Eunice, she told me that when she called me, she was actually prompted by a line she came across in Joyce Rupp's book which she was reading. She had cited Jeremiah 29:11. Praise God! He works in wondrous ways! and yes I always proclaim the promise that our good Lord has plans for us especially Jeremiah. Plans to prosper not to destroy. AMEN!
In the last few months of last year, I was caught up in bouts of infection of Jeremiah and all the procedures that followed till daddy Tim got a little tired over the whole thing of medical, medical and medical that he packed us all up in his biz trip to Macau. I was reluctant to spend the money, all around us rallied for the trip telling us it was time we take a good break and off we went. Thank you Lord for that good break as we ferried over to Hong Kong and the kids had a great time in Disneyland including me :P Yeah! more than 30 yrs on earth and it was my first to Disney :) and there is so much more to give thanks! I'll do this in another post.
Thank You Lord for bringing me back!
Pardon me if I do sound incoherent as it is now like 3am in the morning.
Frankly, I was drained. Overwhelmed. Caught up in my own world. So absorbed in my own challenges and trials that I forgot how much the good Lord has already done in our lives.
Guilt has also a part of knocking me out of sweet slumber as I know I had to do this.
I am feeling so guilty that I was knocked out of my sleep as I kept thinking how I had started this blog wanting to share my faith in Christ after the birth of Jeremiah and what we had and still going through with him but yet many a times I was almost unforgiving about how the drs had dealt with us till it came to a point that I stopped blogging. It's been like months since I did a proper post.
I forgot my first call to evangelize. I ignored the continuous nudges, the continuous prompting of the Holy Spirit. Really! There's so much noise in this world that God's soft prompting is sometimes so easily ignored.
Of course, God worked in His most amazing and wondrous ways. He called again, again and again. Finally, all I can say is "Here I am Lord. Send Me!"
The last nudge that hit me is from the earth angel Eunice and thank you Lord for sending her :)
Last week, after the Chinese New Year was over, I decided to take up the challenge of the 3-4 hourly catheter thing for Jeremiah. Frankly, I was still in much chaos in my heart about the decision. I went to the hospital and waited outside the treatment room at the Children's Surgery Centre waiting to be trained in the thing that I had dreaded so much. Maybe the people in the medical field would think cathetering a spina bifida kid every 3 to 4 hourly would have been the best option taken but to a normal mother like me, it pains me. Yes, it does. Imagine putting a catheter into the penis of a 2 and half year old every 3 to 4 hourly. In case, some of you still do not know what is a catheter, it's a fine tube being inserted through the penis, through the urethra into the urinary bladder to drain the urine. Why is it needed? According to the doctors professional point of view, this catheterization is useful when one is unable to fully empty the urinary bladder and Jeremiah is thought of this way by the doctors that he is unable to do so due to a supposed neurogenic bladder from his open neural tube defect. As I stood outside the room waiting, the mobile rang. It was from the social worker, Eunice of Club Rainbow. We had a short chat and she kinda lightened the mood before we entered the room. Eunice had wanted to meet up with us to give us some milk and diapers but I declined as Jere was allergic to cow's milk and as for his diapers, the little one had expensive bum since birth as we tried cheaper diaper alternatives from the pampers active and the little one had so bad diaper rash till his bum was raw. Then I passed the mobile to the little one to chat and thank Eunice for her kind thoughts.
Eunice: Jere, what do you like to drink?
Jere: (cheekily with a grin on his face) Milo and Coffee.
I was like what??? Jere, you don't drink coffee. Ok, the little one was trying to be a little cheeky. Jere laughed.
We hung up soon as we were next into the room but the coffee line certainly got us all laughing. After we were done that day and went to the pharmacy to get Jere's supply of antibiotics, Eunice called again to check where were we and guess what? The angel appeared with 2 big packs of diapers, a big tin of Milo, a book for Jeremiah and a catholic digest for me. I thought her thoughts and actions were the biggest! It was so sweet and it touched me so, telling me God is so with us on this journey. I was so not looking forward to this catheter training but the phone call itself so reminded me of God's presence and Eunice coming down with all the gifts was almost like an angel sent by Him to tell us He is with us throught it all. Especially with the digest. The digest was called "the WORD among us" has helped to wake me from my self absorption and shallowness. I had started this blog to proclaim His word, to glorify His name since Jere's birth but somehow at the end of last year, along the way I got absorbed into the noise of the world, I conveniently forgot to give glory to Him who has already done so much for us. I know there are many people we see everyday that need to hear us witness to our faith. I told myself then that i gonna revive my somehow dead blog with my very own experiences of the Lord and His working in my heart and mind. Indeed He works in His mysterious ways. How great is our God! When I shared this with Eunice, she told me that when she called me, she was actually prompted by a line she came across in Joyce Rupp's book which she was reading. She had cited Jeremiah 29:11. Praise God! He works in wondrous ways! and yes I always proclaim the promise that our good Lord has plans for us especially Jeremiah. Plans to prosper not to destroy. AMEN!
In the last few months of last year, I was caught up in bouts of infection of Jeremiah and all the procedures that followed till daddy Tim got a little tired over the whole thing of medical, medical and medical that he packed us all up in his biz trip to Macau. I was reluctant to spend the money, all around us rallied for the trip telling us it was time we take a good break and off we went. Thank you Lord for that good break as we ferried over to Hong Kong and the kids had a great time in Disneyland including me :P Yeah! more than 30 yrs on earth and it was my first to Disney :) and there is so much more to give thanks! I'll do this in another post.
Thank You Lord for bringing me back!
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Blessed Wednesday
It's amazing how where we always go, we feel His presence so strongly.
This is the second Wednesday where we spend our afternoon up on the third floor of a shophouse in HongKong Street to do our physical program with Jere. I remember the first time when we stepped out of there, my dear husband said, it felt like the apostles worshipping up at the attic. Somehow, we were led here to spend our afternoon every Wednesday. The place is run by a church ministry. All very kind people doing it out of love. The children and parents we have met there are really amazing. They also got a really beautiful name called CLOUDS OF PRAISE. They start and end each session with a prayer and a song of praise in chinese and the cutest thing is Jere sings with them. Jere will go 赞美主(Praise the Lord!) Alleluia! and 因主爱我! (because He loves me!)
After the session, I went one street down and bought the boys a plate of hor fun and fed them their dinner. After feeding them, I took a walk with them to Peninsula Plaza to buy the organic eczema oil for Jere. It seemed to be the only oil right now that is working for him. Jere's eczema flared up so so bad after I used the aqueous cream prescribed by the drs. Usually I would have tested whatever I was using on a small segment but when I applied that cream on Jere, somehow, I don't know why, I just heeded the advise from the dr and pharmacist of applying it liberally all over and the next thing I know, Jere's skin flared so bad that he looked like he was burnt from head to toe. If his urologist had seen him, she would have immediately got me locked up and not just accuse me of neglect and abuse. We prayed and prayed about it. We were so worried but yet we did not dare to make any appointment with any dr to review it as we were afraid they were just gonna give more steroids and things that would do Jere harm. Then last Tuesday, someone told me to go to peninsula to look for a timer that I needed for Jere's program activities and somehow instead of finding the timer, I ended up at this organic shop called Eden and got my hands on the eczema oil that did wonders for Jere. It was the only oil that Jere would allow us to apply on his face to clear the eczema. Thank God for that! Yesterday when we were at the Eden organic shop to buy the eczema oil again, the boss and his wife so very kindly suggested praying for Jere. Frankie the boss started the prayer saying, "Lord, it's by no coincidence that this mummy here brought in her son to get something for her son's eczema..... " then they laid hands and prayed over Jere. Tears welled in my eyes as they prayed. It just made me feel that every step we were taking, God is with us. People always asked me, "What do you mean you don't have peace to do it?" It's this. God's peace just transcends when He's with you.
After that, Tim came to fetch us and the kids all fell asleep in the car after a tiring day. I rushed to the supermarket once I settled the kids at home and when I entered the supermarket, yes our local supermarket, the Fairprice, there was this song playing so so quietly in the background that it melted all my anxiety, my fatigue.... It was a song that we sang at praise and worship at healing mass last Saturday at St Michael's.
"You Raise Me Up"
When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.
You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.
You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.
There is no life - no life without its hunger;
Each restless heart beats so imperfectly;
But when you come and I am filled with wonder,
Sometimes, I think I glimpse eternity.
You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.
You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.
You raise me up... To more than I can be.
I knew then he was right there beside me.....
Thank You Lord!
This is the second Wednesday where we spend our afternoon up on the third floor of a shophouse in HongKong Street to do our physical program with Jere. I remember the first time when we stepped out of there, my dear husband said, it felt like the apostles worshipping up at the attic. Somehow, we were led here to spend our afternoon every Wednesday. The place is run by a church ministry. All very kind people doing it out of love. The children and parents we have met there are really amazing. They also got a really beautiful name called CLOUDS OF PRAISE. They start and end each session with a prayer and a song of praise in chinese and the cutest thing is Jere sings with them. Jere will go 赞美主(Praise the Lord!) Alleluia! and 因主爱我! (because He loves me!)
After the session, I went one street down and bought the boys a plate of hor fun and fed them their dinner. After feeding them, I took a walk with them to Peninsula Plaza to buy the organic eczema oil for Jere. It seemed to be the only oil right now that is working for him. Jere's eczema flared up so so bad after I used the aqueous cream prescribed by the drs. Usually I would have tested whatever I was using on a small segment but when I applied that cream on Jere, somehow, I don't know why, I just heeded the advise from the dr and pharmacist of applying it liberally all over and the next thing I know, Jere's skin flared so bad that he looked like he was burnt from head to toe. If his urologist had seen him, she would have immediately got me locked up and not just accuse me of neglect and abuse. We prayed and prayed about it. We were so worried but yet we did not dare to make any appointment with any dr to review it as we were afraid they were just gonna give more steroids and things that would do Jere harm. Then last Tuesday, someone told me to go to peninsula to look for a timer that I needed for Jere's program activities and somehow instead of finding the timer, I ended up at this organic shop called Eden and got my hands on the eczema oil that did wonders for Jere. It was the only oil that Jere would allow us to apply on his face to clear the eczema. Thank God for that! Yesterday when we were at the Eden organic shop to buy the eczema oil again, the boss and his wife so very kindly suggested praying for Jere. Frankie the boss started the prayer saying, "Lord, it's by no coincidence that this mummy here brought in her son to get something for her son's eczema..... " then they laid hands and prayed over Jere. Tears welled in my eyes as they prayed. It just made me feel that every step we were taking, God is with us. People always asked me, "What do you mean you don't have peace to do it?" It's this. God's peace just transcends when He's with you.
After that, Tim came to fetch us and the kids all fell asleep in the car after a tiring day. I rushed to the supermarket once I settled the kids at home and when I entered the supermarket, yes our local supermarket, the Fairprice, there was this song playing so so quietly in the background that it melted all my anxiety, my fatigue.... It was a song that we sang at praise and worship at healing mass last Saturday at St Michael's.
"You Raise Me Up"
When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.
You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.
You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.
There is no life - no life without its hunger;
Each restless heart beats so imperfectly;
But when you come and I am filled with wonder,
Sometimes, I think I glimpse eternity.
You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.
You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.
You raise me up... To more than I can be.
I knew then he was right there beside me.....
Thank You Lord!
Friday, August 15, 2008
How July flew us by....
It's a Thursday night, almost approaching Friday, exactly mid August, 2008. I was nursing Jere to sleep and I was thinking so much..... How I wish everything that went through my mind would just be penned down here.
It had been a hectic month of July!
Initially I had thought to write the whole of July straight but after I started writing, I decided to break them up coz the whole post is just too long....
so here goes....
Jeremiah turns 2! Praise the Lord!
July 5th, we celebrated Jere's 2nd birthday with our family and a couple of baby friends of Jere. We had a great time, Jere was blessed with lotsa love, prayers and gifts. Thank You everyone. I promise to upload the pictures soon.
The follow-up urologist visit
July 10th, I went to the hospital as promised 2 weeks after the last to meet with another parent and hopefully to have made a decision for Jere regarding his medical situation. I was a little apprehensive when I headed for the hospital as Tim could not take leave and I haven't finished the book of Jeremiah and thus don't have an answer to the solution. I prayed as I went. God went before me. The other parent could not make it and the dr told her nurse to tell me to come back on July 31st when the other patient had an appointment. Thank God. Praise the Lord!
Our visit to National Skin Centre
July 18th, we were referred to the National Skin Centre for Jere's eczema problem. The people at registration were really nice. There was hardly any wait. We saw the medical officer almost immediately and she called the consultant in to see Jere also which we found out later was the emeritus consultant. Jere was prescribed some steroidal creams and aquaes cream for his skin. Next appointment 27th August 2008.
KorKor Nat school registration
July 17th & 18th, I was monitoring the vacancies of Primary school more eagerly than that of stocks :P It was time to register Nat in Primary One. We wanted a mission school, a good school and a school that is convenient for us. There were clearly 2 choices. Catholic High School which was within 2km of where we stayed and we had a direct bus right in front of our block to the school in 10 min. St Joseph Institution Junior (SJI Jr) which was walking distance of Novena MRT and Novena MRT is just 4 stations from Ang Mo Kio MRT which is 5 min walk from our place.
We hoped Nat would get into Cat High coz his God brother Owen was in there and it would be good for Godma and me :) but by the end of Day 1 of registration, we were told out of 1km need not apply as within 1km was already balloting. So we headed down to SJI. As it neared the closing time, there was still chance for balloting for those out of 2km so I decided if God left the door open, no matter how small, I would just try. So we applied and waited for balloting day on the 23rd July.
July 23rd, Tim and I took leave to witness the balloting. We were one of the 40 people vying for 10 places in the school. The last number was called. It was 221 and unfortunately we were 223! Sigh! I never thought not being able to get your son into your choice school could be so disappointing, so upsetting , so... undescribable.
I had wanted Nat to get into that school coz I liked their school Motto very much... which calls upon Josephians to be in communion with, and to be guided by God through prayer; and to always work conscientiously in learning and growth, and in service to God, especially in uplifting the last and the least amongst us. Also, I wanted Nat to get in as It would be easier for me as Jere still visits KKH pretty often and it would be most convenient for me to fetch and send the boys as usually I catch the shuttle service to KKH from Novena MRT station too.
My so desolated look was caught by the darn chinese evening tabloid and that night, I got infamous among the ah soh and ah pek at the void deck of our block. Nah.... just kidding, thank goodness, the aunties and ah peks never read paper that day :P but nevertheless, our dear neighbour Shirley and family caught it and told me. She even gave me a copy of the papers for keepsake. Gosh! I really looked sad in the papers :P We had to try applying again in Phase 2c next week.
July 29th 30th, 31st, I was monitoring again. Cat High and SJI Jr had no chance at all. The doors were closed. SHUT! TIGHT! At 2 plus, there were still over 10 places in Maris Stella. We thought we were headed there. Came 3 plus no more vacancies for out of 2km. We then headed to St Gabriel's at Lor Chuan. We were the last registrant there and we secured a place. Thank God! coz the last thing we would want is not getting our child into a mission school as we thought faith formation in a child is really important.
The meeting with the other parent
July 31st, I headed down to KKH myself with Jere. I was kinda afraid coz Tim had used up lotsa leave for Nat's registration so I was left to face it alone. I prayed that God would go with me and before me. I reached the hospital and at registration the urologist dr came by.
Dr: Hello Mummy! I'm glad you came. How? Have you come to a decision?
Me: No Dr.
Dr: OH....The fact that you came is already very good. Meet up with Ivan's parents later then you see me ok.
Me: Ok Dr.
Soon, I was led into a room with Jere, given chairs to sit and a Filipino lady in her early 40s and a Chinese man in his 40s also came into the room with a 5 yr old walking awkwardly behind them. The lady seemed a little defensive initially until I showed her Jere's operation scar and Jere's feet.
We had a chat and found out Ivan was one of their twin sons. The other son was perfectly ok. Ivan also had Spina Bifida Meningocele. He was born in Philippines and was only operated at 5 weeks. The parents then brought the child to Singapore and Ivan was then operated again at 5 or 6 months. They cannot remember for sure. The dr then had given them an option of operating lower down and having his lower half affected or operating higher and then having a possibility of having a shunt operation later in the head. They decided the former. They then took out Ivan's shoes and socks and showed me that Ivan also had his feet operated. They shared with me that after the op on the spine, the feet seemed to turn inwards. Thus, as advised by the doctors, they had his feet operated. So now, the feet turned out instead of inwards. They then told me that their son started to walk after the operation. The urologist dr then came in and added in... "yeah... the operation is so easy!" The dr then cut us short and the family went with her. Somehow, I don't know why, I kinda followed the family when they went into the treatment room. I saw how Ivan sustained a pee and how the mother catheterised Ivan after and he did not seem to mind at all.
After the meeting, I just felt so inspired, so motivated and so convinced that my child would walk and his pee can be normal. AMEN! It would not be like what the drs said... catheter all life, wheelchair bound... walk with walking aids.. NEVER!
That kinda wrapped up our month of July.
It had been a hectic month of July!
Initially I had thought to write the whole of July straight but after I started writing, I decided to break them up coz the whole post is just too long....
so here goes....
Jeremiah turns 2! Praise the Lord!
July 5th, we celebrated Jere's 2nd birthday with our family and a couple of baby friends of Jere. We had a great time, Jere was blessed with lotsa love, prayers and gifts. Thank You everyone. I promise to upload the pictures soon.
The follow-up urologist visit
July 10th, I went to the hospital as promised 2 weeks after the last to meet with another parent and hopefully to have made a decision for Jere regarding his medical situation. I was a little apprehensive when I headed for the hospital as Tim could not take leave and I haven't finished the book of Jeremiah and thus don't have an answer to the solution. I prayed as I went. God went before me. The other parent could not make it and the dr told her nurse to tell me to come back on July 31st when the other patient had an appointment. Thank God. Praise the Lord!
Our visit to National Skin Centre
July 18th, we were referred to the National Skin Centre for Jere's eczema problem. The people at registration were really nice. There was hardly any wait. We saw the medical officer almost immediately and she called the consultant in to see Jere also which we found out later was the emeritus consultant. Jere was prescribed some steroidal creams and aquaes cream for his skin. Next appointment 27th August 2008.
KorKor Nat school registration
July 17th & 18th, I was monitoring the vacancies of Primary school more eagerly than that of stocks :P It was time to register Nat in Primary One. We wanted a mission school, a good school and a school that is convenient for us. There were clearly 2 choices. Catholic High School which was within 2km of where we stayed and we had a direct bus right in front of our block to the school in 10 min. St Joseph Institution Junior (SJI Jr) which was walking distance of Novena MRT and Novena MRT is just 4 stations from Ang Mo Kio MRT which is 5 min walk from our place.
We hoped Nat would get into Cat High coz his God brother Owen was in there and it would be good for Godma and me :) but by the end of Day 1 of registration, we were told out of 1km need not apply as within 1km was already balloting. So we headed down to SJI. As it neared the closing time, there was still chance for balloting for those out of 2km so I decided if God left the door open, no matter how small, I would just try. So we applied and waited for balloting day on the 23rd July.
July 23rd, Tim and I took leave to witness the balloting. We were one of the 40 people vying for 10 places in the school. The last number was called. It was 221 and unfortunately we were 223! Sigh! I never thought not being able to get your son into your choice school could be so disappointing, so upsetting , so... undescribable.
I had wanted Nat to get into that school coz I liked their school Motto very much... which calls upon Josephians to be in communion with, and to be guided by God through prayer; and to always work conscientiously in learning and growth, and in service to God, especially in uplifting the last and the least amongst us. Also, I wanted Nat to get in as It would be easier for me as Jere still visits KKH pretty often and it would be most convenient for me to fetch and send the boys as usually I catch the shuttle service to KKH from Novena MRT station too.
My so desolated look was caught by the darn chinese evening tabloid and that night, I got infamous among the ah soh and ah pek at the void deck of our block. Nah.... just kidding, thank goodness, the aunties and ah peks never read paper that day :P but nevertheless, our dear neighbour Shirley and family caught it and told me. She even gave me a copy of the papers for keepsake. Gosh! I really looked sad in the papers :P We had to try applying again in Phase 2c next week.
July 29th 30th, 31st, I was monitoring again. Cat High and SJI Jr had no chance at all. The doors were closed. SHUT! TIGHT! At 2 plus, there were still over 10 places in Maris Stella. We thought we were headed there. Came 3 plus no more vacancies for out of 2km. We then headed to St Gabriel's at Lor Chuan. We were the last registrant there and we secured a place. Thank God! coz the last thing we would want is not getting our child into a mission school as we thought faith formation in a child is really important.
The meeting with the other parent
July 31st, I headed down to KKH myself with Jere. I was kinda afraid coz Tim had used up lotsa leave for Nat's registration so I was left to face it alone. I prayed that God would go with me and before me. I reached the hospital and at registration the urologist dr came by.
Dr: Hello Mummy! I'm glad you came. How? Have you come to a decision?
Me: No Dr.
Dr: OH....The fact that you came is already very good. Meet up with Ivan's parents later then you see me ok.
Me: Ok Dr.
Soon, I was led into a room with Jere, given chairs to sit and a Filipino lady in her early 40s and a Chinese man in his 40s also came into the room with a 5 yr old walking awkwardly behind them. The lady seemed a little defensive initially until I showed her Jere's operation scar and Jere's feet.
We had a chat and found out Ivan was one of their twin sons. The other son was perfectly ok. Ivan also had Spina Bifida Meningocele. He was born in Philippines and was only operated at 5 weeks. The parents then brought the child to Singapore and Ivan was then operated again at 5 or 6 months. They cannot remember for sure. The dr then had given them an option of operating lower down and having his lower half affected or operating higher and then having a possibility of having a shunt operation later in the head. They decided the former. They then took out Ivan's shoes and socks and showed me that Ivan also had his feet operated. They shared with me that after the op on the spine, the feet seemed to turn inwards. Thus, as advised by the doctors, they had his feet operated. So now, the feet turned out instead of inwards. They then told me that their son started to walk after the operation. The urologist dr then came in and added in... "yeah... the operation is so easy!" The dr then cut us short and the family went with her. Somehow, I don't know why, I kinda followed the family when they went into the treatment room. I saw how Ivan sustained a pee and how the mother catheterised Ivan after and he did not seem to mind at all.
After the meeting, I just felt so inspired, so motivated and so convinced that my child would walk and his pee can be normal. AMEN! It would not be like what the drs said... catheter all life, wheelchair bound... walk with walking aids.. NEVER!
That kinda wrapped up our month of July.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Quit?
Nat: Mummy, can you not quit?
Me: What quit?
Nat: Quit.
Me: (getting a little irritated) What quit? (not knowing that Nat had been overhearing the conversations that I had with the dear husband about quitting my job and going intensive with Jeremiah's programs)
Nat: Quit. Can you not quit?
Me: What quit Nat?
Nat: Quit your job.
Me: Why Nat?
Nat: Coz a real warrior never quits.
Me: (quite taken a back that this should have come from my not even 6 yr old) Oh Nat.
There was a moment of silence.
It's funny how our decision to quit my job can affect the kid. Maybe he thought that he would never be able to go to mummy's fun office again if mummy quits the job. Nat enjoys going into my office. He loves going to the breakout area to play fusball and pressing a cup of iced milo from the vending machine and chatting with all the friendly uncles and aunties around and best of all get all the toys and premiums from mummy's office. Even Jere at 2 years old can say "I want to go mummy's office!" No kidding!
Me: (breaking the silence)Daddy's decided the warrior should stay home and take care of the home nation coz we gonna build the home nation and make it real strong! As long as the home nation is strong, all else is unshakeable. By the way Nat, where did you learn "A real warrior never quits" ?
Nat: (smiling) KUNGFU PANDA!
I tendered my resignation on May 16, 2008. Actually, I had wanted to quit and work with Jere since the Glenn Doman's "What to do with your brain injured child" course but I lacked the courage and the peace to do it. Yes I was worried financially with all the medical expenses and what nots... After 1 year of praying, the Lord finally gave me the courage and peace to do it. Well, it took me a good whole year to finally take the leap of faith that our God provides and quit the job and answer to my calling... motherhood. I know if I don't quit now and help Jere stand and walk, I will regret for the rest of my life.
Lord, thank you for giving me the courage to do this and helping me to discern. Lord grant me the wisdom to do what's right for the children and bless me in all that I do. AMEN!
Me: What quit?
Nat: Quit.
Me: (getting a little irritated) What quit? (not knowing that Nat had been overhearing the conversations that I had with the dear husband about quitting my job and going intensive with Jeremiah's programs)
Nat: Quit. Can you not quit?
Me: What quit Nat?
Nat: Quit your job.
Me: Why Nat?
Nat: Coz a real warrior never quits.
Me: (quite taken a back that this should have come from my not even 6 yr old) Oh Nat.
There was a moment of silence.
It's funny how our decision to quit my job can affect the kid. Maybe he thought that he would never be able to go to mummy's fun office again if mummy quits the job. Nat enjoys going into my office. He loves going to the breakout area to play fusball and pressing a cup of iced milo from the vending machine and chatting with all the friendly uncles and aunties around and best of all get all the toys and premiums from mummy's office. Even Jere at 2 years old can say "I want to go mummy's office!" No kidding!
Me: (breaking the silence)Daddy's decided the warrior should stay home and take care of the home nation coz we gonna build the home nation and make it real strong! As long as the home nation is strong, all else is unshakeable. By the way Nat, where did you learn "A real warrior never quits" ?
Nat: (smiling) KUNGFU PANDA!
I tendered my resignation on May 16, 2008. Actually, I had wanted to quit and work with Jere since the Glenn Doman's "What to do with your brain injured child" course but I lacked the courage and the peace to do it. Yes I was worried financially with all the medical expenses and what nots... After 1 year of praying, the Lord finally gave me the courage and peace to do it. Well, it took me a good whole year to finally take the leap of faith that our God provides and quit the job and answer to my calling... motherhood. I know if I don't quit now and help Jere stand and walk, I will regret for the rest of my life.
Lord, thank you for giving me the courage to do this and helping me to discern. Lord grant me the wisdom to do what's right for the children and bless me in all that I do. AMEN!
Who's the boss?
The boys were having lunch together....
As usual, Nat was fiddling with his food and not that keen in whatever he was eating.
Then suddenly our dear Jere went "KORKOR! EAT PROPERLY!"
No, I'm not kidding.... Jere said that and the helper was also shocked. She was trying to control her laughter and when she saw me burst out laughing, she said, " I thought that should be the other way round...."
Now, who's the older one? :P
As usual, Nat was fiddling with his food and not that keen in whatever he was eating.
Then suddenly our dear Jere went "KORKOR! EAT PROPERLY!"
No, I'm not kidding.... Jere said that and the helper was also shocked. She was trying to control her laughter and when she saw me burst out laughing, she said, " I thought that should be the other way round...."
Now, who's the older one? :P
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Times my husband stood up for me.....
At that moment of time when I walked out of the clinic after being accused of neglect and abuse of my child, not one, not two but I really can't recall how many times the dr threw the accusation at my face. I asked myself was it a mistake that I told my dear hubby, Tim to concentrate on his work and telling him I could manage the hospital visit all on my own when he had offered to go with us the night before.
I felt so lousy that on the impulse, I took out my mobile and dialled his number as I walked out of the clinic. Sobbing into the phone and almost crying my whole heart out, I must have frightened Tim. I related what had happened in the doctor's room with almost all the emotions I had, I think. Almost like an abused puppy that was rendered really helpless, I hung on to the phone as I walked my way up from the basement which was almost like hell on earth at that very moment. I walked to Macdonalds to get my little one a happy meal for his lunch as I was in no condition to try to get a hot bowl of noodles and feed him that. I hung up the phone when I reached Macdonalds and ordered the happy meal for Jeremiah in between my sobs. The staff very kindly told me to take a seat and served it to us in no time. I sat down with Jeremiah and looked at him. I cut up the nuggets for Jere and he started to eat while I was so affected that I did not feel hungry at all though it was way past lunch time.
Before I had realised, twenty minutes had passed and Tim called me back asking where was I and I said I was still in Macdonald's feeding Jere. Before I hung up the mobile, I saw him approaching us.
Tim: Come! I go and speak to the doctor!
Me: For what? They have given us an appointment to see her in 2 weeks.
Tim: No! I want to know what really happened.
Tim then walked towards the clinic, not realising that the clinic had moved to the basement. I then highlighted to him that the clinic was not where he thought and pointed him the right direction. Not really keen to go back there, I said I'll go to the pharmacy to collect Jeremiah's medicine.
We both then went different directions. I went to the pharmacy to drop off the prescription while Tim headed to the Children's surgery centre at the basement. After dropping the prescription, something in me just told me I should head to the basement, knowing how rash my husband can get and angry when his wife is being seen as bullied. When I reached the basement, Tim said the doctor was still there and they would squeeze him in to speak to the doctor. The staff nurse and the senior staff nurse then saw me and asked how come I was back. I explained that my husband wanted to see the Dr. Then they told me the doctor did not mean what she said and surely I understand that. They then brought me into one of their rooms and told me the dr was a good doctor and she was genuinely concerned and had not meant to hurt me at all and hope I would understand that. I then told them that if an educated person like me was intimidated by them, what more would the uneducated feel? Then I told them not to worry and I don't blame the dr but I really just did not appreciate the accusations at all. Then we went out of the room.
It wasn't too long before we were called into the room of the Dr.
Tim: Dr, what is this? what is this that I hear you don't want to see us anymore.... what is this about a court order? What is this about my wife being charged for neglect and abuse?
Tim almost sounded a little rude I felt in questioning the doctor on what is this.... what is this... what is this....
Dr: No Daddy... you guys gotta make a decision. I really don't know how else I could make your wife come to a decision short of threatening her. I feel I have really failed in what I am doing after 2 years you guys still not decided to do the catheterisation.
I was kinda shocked that the doctor admitted to threatening me.
Tim: No Dr, You definitely did not fail. Everytime I walk out of your clinic, I am very affected and would think of your proposal at least for the next few days.
Dr: Then what is holding you back daddy?
Tim: We are not at peace with it.
Dr: What is holding you back? Shall I arrange for you guys to meet other parents who has done it?
Tim: I must tell you first. We may come back with the same decision. NO CIC. NO VASECOSTOMY.
The doctor seemed kinder or rather a little more cordial and polite to Tim. Why? I don't exactly know the reason but maybe Tim was sounding angry and a little forceful.
It was the same conclusion anyhow to return in 2 weeks with the decision we should have come upon and meet with a parent of similar case of child.
We left the clinic and Tim rushed back to office to continue his important conference that he had left abruptly to stand up for his wife.
Thank You Lord for a husband who loves me so dearly
Lord grant Tim the graciousness, the humility and a forgiving spirit when faced with persecution, trials and tribulations. AMEN!
I felt so lousy that on the impulse, I took out my mobile and dialled his number as I walked out of the clinic. Sobbing into the phone and almost crying my whole heart out, I must have frightened Tim. I related what had happened in the doctor's room with almost all the emotions I had, I think. Almost like an abused puppy that was rendered really helpless, I hung on to the phone as I walked my way up from the basement which was almost like hell on earth at that very moment. I walked to Macdonalds to get my little one a happy meal for his lunch as I was in no condition to try to get a hot bowl of noodles and feed him that. I hung up the phone when I reached Macdonalds and ordered the happy meal for Jeremiah in between my sobs. The staff very kindly told me to take a seat and served it to us in no time. I sat down with Jeremiah and looked at him. I cut up the nuggets for Jere and he started to eat while I was so affected that I did not feel hungry at all though it was way past lunch time.
Before I had realised, twenty minutes had passed and Tim called me back asking where was I and I said I was still in Macdonald's feeding Jere. Before I hung up the mobile, I saw him approaching us.
Tim: Come! I go and speak to the doctor!
Me: For what? They have given us an appointment to see her in 2 weeks.
Tim: No! I want to know what really happened.
Tim then walked towards the clinic, not realising that the clinic had moved to the basement. I then highlighted to him that the clinic was not where he thought and pointed him the right direction. Not really keen to go back there, I said I'll go to the pharmacy to collect Jeremiah's medicine.
We both then went different directions. I went to the pharmacy to drop off the prescription while Tim headed to the Children's surgery centre at the basement. After dropping the prescription, something in me just told me I should head to the basement, knowing how rash my husband can get and angry when his wife is being seen as bullied. When I reached the basement, Tim said the doctor was still there and they would squeeze him in to speak to the doctor. The staff nurse and the senior staff nurse then saw me and asked how come I was back. I explained that my husband wanted to see the Dr. Then they told me the doctor did not mean what she said and surely I understand that. They then brought me into one of their rooms and told me the dr was a good doctor and she was genuinely concerned and had not meant to hurt me at all and hope I would understand that. I then told them that if an educated person like me was intimidated by them, what more would the uneducated feel? Then I told them not to worry and I don't blame the dr but I really just did not appreciate the accusations at all. Then we went out of the room.
It wasn't too long before we were called into the room of the Dr.
Tim: Dr, what is this? what is this that I hear you don't want to see us anymore.... what is this about a court order? What is this about my wife being charged for neglect and abuse?
Tim almost sounded a little rude I felt in questioning the doctor on what is this.... what is this... what is this....
Dr: No Daddy... you guys gotta make a decision. I really don't know how else I could make your wife come to a decision short of threatening her. I feel I have really failed in what I am doing after 2 years you guys still not decided to do the catheterisation.
I was kinda shocked that the doctor admitted to threatening me.
Tim: No Dr, You definitely did not fail. Everytime I walk out of your clinic, I am very affected and would think of your proposal at least for the next few days.
Dr: Then what is holding you back daddy?
Tim: We are not at peace with it.
Dr: What is holding you back? Shall I arrange for you guys to meet other parents who has done it?
Tim: I must tell you first. We may come back with the same decision. NO CIC. NO VASECOSTOMY.
The doctor seemed kinder or rather a little more cordial and polite to Tim. Why? I don't exactly know the reason but maybe Tim was sounding angry and a little forceful.
It was the same conclusion anyhow to return in 2 weeks with the decision we should have come upon and meet with a parent of similar case of child.
We left the clinic and Tim rushed back to office to continue his important conference that he had left abruptly to stand up for his wife.
Thank You Lord for a husband who loves me so dearly
Lord grant Tim the graciousness, the humility and a forgiving spirit when faced with persecution, trials and tribulations. AMEN!
Monday, May 12, 2008
Maid saga
What's the relevance of the maid to a mother's journey in faith????
The answer here is the maid is my main source of help to care for the kids while i work... so it is of big relevance.
And so I thought I was all ready to do something for my little angel, Jeremiah.... telling my boss that I like to work a 3 day week and all....
Well, I told my boss and HR that I like to do a 3 day work week so that I could give more time to move towards the wellness of my child. And the target was April to start....
And what happens?
Before I even started my 3 day work week,
Mid March, the dear helper that I had trained for a good whole 4 months and thinking that I could dive into my Glenn Doman program soon since she has kinda stabilised, dropped the bomb on me saying that she like to go home when her medical check up was due saying that her husband is stressing her to go back and she did not want to lose him.
So I informed the agency. The agent told me to probe further to make sure she was really serious about going home.
I probed..... and apparently she still was not very sure. She said her husband asked her to go back but she will try to tahan coz her hubby ask her go back since the time she came coz he never ever agreed her to come Singapore work in the first place.
Then April came, we celebrated her birthday with dinner and a nice birthday cake just like we would have celebrated a family member's birthday and ten days later, she told me again that this time she is very sure she wanna go home. When I probed again, she said not sure again. Then said maybe she wanna try for a caregiver job as it had better pay and prospects. Unlike any other employer, I told her to go find out properly and not at the end of the day realise that there is no real job out there like the aesop's fable dog who looked into the water and saw another dog with another bone, jumped into water and ended up with no bone at all and lost his own bone too.
I called the maid agency again. Agent then said will look through the bio datas and if there was a suitable replacement, they would get back to me.
I was getting worried so I went to another agency and managed to get another maid in on Apr 22. May 5, the old helper's (MJ) loan would have been paid up and she was free to go and if her agency dont find me replacement, I can't possibly just wait on no end.
The new maid came in and was trained by the old help MJ. May 4, new help said she is not suitable for our home and wants to be returned to the agency. That day, May 4, old help MJ went on off. Came back that night, gave me $350 saying her sister lent it to her and asked me to settle whatever she needs to settle with her agency and get her airticket home. I wasn't sure if that was the procedure so I told her to hold on to her money and I would check with her agency the following day.
Mon 5th May, I called agency. agency told me I had to take $375 from MJ ($195 (insurance + documentation) plus her air ticket money. The agency was supposed to give me a free replacement and I think they were charging it on her since she did not finish her contract and just worked six months. That night, I was home late as I was looking at bio datas at other maid agencies. I did not feel quite right with MJ's agent.
Tues, 6 May, I told MJ what her agency had advised me and MJ gave me her $350 plus she had $250 salary with me she said should be able to settle whatever with agency and get her air ticket. I said ok, took the money and planned to look for a day which she could afford her own ticket as requested.
That afternoon, when I returned from lunch in the office, the new maid called me, crying hysterically saying old help MJ was missing with her luggage and all.
I rushed straight home and filed a police report to safeguard myself that afternoon.
Called the agency but the agency said they did not know of the matter and had not seen MJ.
MJ handphone was still on. I called but she wouldn't pick up then I sms her, telling her to come back and close the case of missing person and I would then send her back but she did not reply me.
Wed, she sms me telling me to leave her air ticket with her agency.
However, things were not as simple as it seemed then coz MJ had been filed as missing person and i can't help her out of the country till she close the case police said.
Thurs 11 plus in the morning, agency called and said MJ is at their residence. I immediately called the police to ask what's the next course of action. they said to bring the gal to police station to close the case. I told that to agency but agency said "no such thing. we had missing maids before. we just need to call the police and said we found her." apparently they don't seem to believe I had made a police report. they then said you can ask the police to come our office and get her.
so i told that to the police. However, when the police got to the agency office, the agency said the gal has ran to the embassy!
Fri, noon, I called the embassy, they said they had no one of that name there. Then I called the police, the police said she was there. After I hung up with the investigating officer, I called the embassy a second time, this time, the embassy said yes she was there. What A RELIER! THANK YOU LORD!
Anyhow, police said fri and sat, the embassy was closed. Monday, he got other cases pending so only tues he will go to the embassy to get a statement from MJ that she is not abused and just plainly wanna go home. Then they will hand over the case to the agency and told me to deal with the embassy and agent then.
Boy! I was so stressed till she ended up in the embassy! I could not sleep and I was throwing out almost anything I ate. I was so worried that she would do anything silly.
So all you people out there... thank the Lord if you are able to stay home and take care of your own kids and thank the Lord if you've got good helpers. Seriously, these days, I really don't know what these helpers want out of us.
I just pray that when the police interrogate her, she wont spout nonsense about me and my family so we all can send her home!
The answer here is the maid is my main source of help to care for the kids while i work... so it is of big relevance.
And so I thought I was all ready to do something for my little angel, Jeremiah.... telling my boss that I like to work a 3 day week and all....
Well, I told my boss and HR that I like to do a 3 day work week so that I could give more time to move towards the wellness of my child. And the target was April to start....
And what happens?
Before I even started my 3 day work week,
Mid March, the dear helper that I had trained for a good whole 4 months and thinking that I could dive into my Glenn Doman program soon since she has kinda stabilised, dropped the bomb on me saying that she like to go home when her medical check up was due saying that her husband is stressing her to go back and she did not want to lose him.
So I informed the agency. The agent told me to probe further to make sure she was really serious about going home.
I probed..... and apparently she still was not very sure. She said her husband asked her to go back but she will try to tahan coz her hubby ask her go back since the time she came coz he never ever agreed her to come Singapore work in the first place.
Then April came, we celebrated her birthday with dinner and a nice birthday cake just like we would have celebrated a family member's birthday and ten days later, she told me again that this time she is very sure she wanna go home. When I probed again, she said not sure again. Then said maybe she wanna try for a caregiver job as it had better pay and prospects. Unlike any other employer, I told her to go find out properly and not at the end of the day realise that there is no real job out there like the aesop's fable dog who looked into the water and saw another dog with another bone, jumped into water and ended up with no bone at all and lost his own bone too.
I called the maid agency again. Agent then said will look through the bio datas and if there was a suitable replacement, they would get back to me.
I was getting worried so I went to another agency and managed to get another maid in on Apr 22. May 5, the old helper's (MJ) loan would have been paid up and she was free to go and if her agency dont find me replacement, I can't possibly just wait on no end.
The new maid came in and was trained by the old help MJ. May 4, new help said she is not suitable for our home and wants to be returned to the agency. That day, May 4, old help MJ went on off. Came back that night, gave me $350 saying her sister lent it to her and asked me to settle whatever she needs to settle with her agency and get her airticket home. I wasn't sure if that was the procedure so I told her to hold on to her money and I would check with her agency the following day.
Mon 5th May, I called agency. agency told me I had to take $375 from MJ ($195 (insurance + documentation) plus her air ticket money. The agency was supposed to give me a free replacement and I think they were charging it on her since she did not finish her contract and just worked six months. That night, I was home late as I was looking at bio datas at other maid agencies. I did not feel quite right with MJ's agent.
Tues, 6 May, I told MJ what her agency had advised me and MJ gave me her $350 plus she had $250 salary with me she said should be able to settle whatever with agency and get her air ticket. I said ok, took the money and planned to look for a day which she could afford her own ticket as requested.
That afternoon, when I returned from lunch in the office, the new maid called me, crying hysterically saying old help MJ was missing with her luggage and all.
I rushed straight home and filed a police report to safeguard myself that afternoon.
Called the agency but the agency said they did not know of the matter and had not seen MJ.
MJ handphone was still on. I called but she wouldn't pick up then I sms her, telling her to come back and close the case of missing person and I would then send her back but she did not reply me.
Wed, she sms me telling me to leave her air ticket with her agency.
However, things were not as simple as it seemed then coz MJ had been filed as missing person and i can't help her out of the country till she close the case police said.
Thurs 11 plus in the morning, agency called and said MJ is at their residence. I immediately called the police to ask what's the next course of action. they said to bring the gal to police station to close the case. I told that to agency but agency said "no such thing. we had missing maids before. we just need to call the police and said we found her." apparently they don't seem to believe I had made a police report. they then said you can ask the police to come our office and get her.
so i told that to the police. However, when the police got to the agency office, the agency said the gal has ran to the embassy!
Fri, noon, I called the embassy, they said they had no one of that name there. Then I called the police, the police said she was there. After I hung up with the investigating officer, I called the embassy a second time, this time, the embassy said yes she was there. What A RELIER! THANK YOU LORD!
Anyhow, police said fri and sat, the embassy was closed. Monday, he got other cases pending so only tues he will go to the embassy to get a statement from MJ that she is not abused and just plainly wanna go home. Then they will hand over the case to the agency and told me to deal with the embassy and agent then.
Boy! I was so stressed till she ended up in the embassy! I could not sleep and I was throwing out almost anything I ate. I was so worried that she would do anything silly.
So all you people out there... thank the Lord if you are able to stay home and take care of your own kids and thank the Lord if you've got good helpers. Seriously, these days, I really don't know what these helpers want out of us.
I just pray that when the police interrogate her, she wont spout nonsense about me and my family so we all can send her home!
Monday, March 17, 2008
Have we neglected the big bro?
Today I caught myself saying this to my sister after hanging up on the phone with the helper at home.
"Horrible Nat! Naughty Nat! Attention seeking NAT!!!!"
Catching myself, I shouted "HELPPPPPP!!!!!!!"
The helper had just called to say Nat was not co-operating and did not want to go to his art class(something that he had asked for and usually likes).
Why can't I find something nice to say about my son?
Why does he give the helper hell????
I just told my sister earlier that morning that Nat's a big boy now. He's a good boy and merely a few hours later, I am shouting the contrary.
Yes, he has grown! He's a great boy! But he is also very much a bully when left with the helper alone. I really cannot stand it when I see him shouting at the helper. I feel so bad and ashamed to say he's my son when he does that.
It almost seems like a vicious cycle beyond my control. The helper practises favourtism very obviously. She favours Jere more and this only leads to Nat resenting the fact and thus giving her hell everytime an opportunity arises.
I hate his attitude problem! His screaming at the helper. His rude attitude when playing with other children. Children he is not familiar with, he would be rude, like give them a black face and speak to them in a one kind tone. Children he is familiar with, he will be screaming so so loud as he plays with them.
I thought I spent a good whole of his formative years with him, teaching him and guiding him.
Why? Why did it have to turn out like that? *ANGRY*
okok... I know, I know.... please do not start whipping out solutions to me....
I just wanted to vent... that's all.
Sis says:
Afterall they are kids...
I say:
I definitely don't subscribe to the school of thought of "afterall they are kids " It is definitely not a good or valid reason at all! No! not at all! DEFINITELY NOT!
They can be taught!
DEFINITELY!
They need to be more secure about themselves.
I need to work on this.
I need to learn more about this and learn how to do it!
If I have to start all over again, I would!
Nat's just 5!
Even if it takes me double the time....
10 yrs to change him to be a better person, at least I know he will be a better teenager coz he will be 15 by then.
Nat was never a bad child to start with.
No child is ever born bad.
Quoting Suzuki, "Children are examples of life in its truest form, for they really try to live in pure love and joy."
I know deep down inside Nat's just really insecure. One thing leads to another. He becomes attention seeking.
Sometimes I get so warped when I see his behaviour, almost believing that I really had a monster for a son, almost wondering if it was a mistake at all to have kids.
BUT NO!!!! I AM NOT GONNA LET MY HEART BE TROUBLED!
NO! IT WAS NOT A MISTAKE TO HAVE KIDS! NEVER WAS!
This blog was meant to talk about my journey in faith as I walk this road with my special little boy Jeremiah. Sadly, I must admit some way or another, I may have neglected Jeremiah's older brother, yes Jeremiah's 哥哥 Nathaniel. I hardly ever talked about how I managed the older brother, Nathaniel.
Whenever people see me, they'll go
"How's Jere?"
"How's the little hero?"
"How's the little angel?"
and sometimes or rather most of the times, they forgot Jere's brother, Nathaniel. And yes, Mummy here also is guilty as charged.
How could I forget sweet little Nat?
When I was preggers, Nat would touch my tummy and ask me in anticipation when would baby pop out of mummy's tummy?
Then when I birthed Jere and when Nat came to visit, he thought baby was still in the tummy as my tummy was still huge, yeah...I probably looked as if i haven't given birth at all and the baby was not in the room as it usually was when we went to visit people who just delivered their precious.
We finally went home from hospital after 2 days without the baby of course as little Jere was stuck in Neo natal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) and Nat still kept asking where's baby? We told Nat that baby had to stay in hospital as he was not big enough to come home, which was only the half truth. Undoubtedly, baby is small but he definitely could come home in that size if he had been born normal but we did not tell Nat about baby having his spine born out, having an open neural tube defect and having one surgery after another. We thought it was probably too much for a four year old to handle then. Well, how much would he be able to comprehend of that?
Then when Jeremiah finally came home, all the focus was on Jeremiah. Suddenly all the love that Nat enjoyed seemed to be channeled to the little one. Nat seemed almost suddenly replaced. Well, that's probably how Nat must have felt. Soon, Nat started to act up alot!
Till today, 20 months later, Nat still acts up quite a bit and I can only attribute it to his insecurity. Much as I know what's the problem here, I think I very much must be able to translate my thoughts into actions. To merely want to do something about it is not enough.
Love can be had only by loving.
Love it was that made us
And it was love that saved us
Love was God's plan when He made man
God's divine nature is love
Born of God's love we must love him
that's why He made us to love Him
but only when we love all man
Can we partake of God's love
but only when we love all man
Can we partake of God's love
Nat, if you ever read this one day,
I want you to know that I love you.
I want you to know you are my wonderful gift from God and you are a star!
and I am trying my best for you.
You and Jere are my special angels!
Thank you Lord for these blessings!
"Horrible Nat! Naughty Nat! Attention seeking NAT!!!!"
Catching myself, I shouted "HELPPPPPP!!!!!!!"
The helper had just called to say Nat was not co-operating and did not want to go to his art class(something that he had asked for and usually likes).
Why can't I find something nice to say about my son?
Why does he give the helper hell????
I just told my sister earlier that morning that Nat's a big boy now. He's a good boy and merely a few hours later, I am shouting the contrary.
Yes, he has grown! He's a great boy! But he is also very much a bully when left with the helper alone. I really cannot stand it when I see him shouting at the helper. I feel so bad and ashamed to say he's my son when he does that.
It almost seems like a vicious cycle beyond my control. The helper practises favourtism very obviously. She favours Jere more and this only leads to Nat resenting the fact and thus giving her hell everytime an opportunity arises.
I hate his attitude problem! His screaming at the helper. His rude attitude when playing with other children. Children he is not familiar with, he would be rude, like give them a black face and speak to them in a one kind tone. Children he is familiar with, he will be screaming so so loud as he plays with them.
I thought I spent a good whole of his formative years with him, teaching him and guiding him.
Why? Why did it have to turn out like that? *ANGRY*
okok... I know, I know.... please do not start whipping out solutions to me....
I just wanted to vent... that's all.
Sis says:
Afterall they are kids...
I say:
I definitely don't subscribe to the school of thought of "afterall they are kids " It is definitely not a good or valid reason at all! No! not at all! DEFINITELY NOT!
They can be taught!
DEFINITELY!
They need to be more secure about themselves.
I need to work on this.
I need to learn more about this and learn how to do it!
If I have to start all over again, I would!
Nat's just 5!
Even if it takes me double the time....
10 yrs to change him to be a better person, at least I know he will be a better teenager coz he will be 15 by then.
Nat was never a bad child to start with.
No child is ever born bad.
Quoting Suzuki, "Children are examples of life in its truest form, for they really try to live in pure love and joy."
I know deep down inside Nat's just really insecure. One thing leads to another. He becomes attention seeking.
Sometimes I get so warped when I see his behaviour, almost believing that I really had a monster for a son, almost wondering if it was a mistake at all to have kids.
BUT NO!!!! I AM NOT GONNA LET MY HEART BE TROUBLED!
NO! IT WAS NOT A MISTAKE TO HAVE KIDS! NEVER WAS!
This blog was meant to talk about my journey in faith as I walk this road with my special little boy Jeremiah. Sadly, I must admit some way or another, I may have neglected Jeremiah's older brother, yes Jeremiah's 哥哥 Nathaniel. I hardly ever talked about how I managed the older brother, Nathaniel.
Whenever people see me, they'll go
"How's Jere?"
"How's the little hero?"
"How's the little angel?"
and sometimes or rather most of the times, they forgot Jere's brother, Nathaniel. And yes, Mummy here also is guilty as charged.
How could I forget sweet little Nat?
When I was preggers, Nat would touch my tummy and ask me in anticipation when would baby pop out of mummy's tummy?
Then when I birthed Jere and when Nat came to visit, he thought baby was still in the tummy as my tummy was still huge, yeah...I probably looked as if i haven't given birth at all and the baby was not in the room as it usually was when we went to visit people who just delivered their precious.
We finally went home from hospital after 2 days without the baby of course as little Jere was stuck in Neo natal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) and Nat still kept asking where's baby? We told Nat that baby had to stay in hospital as he was not big enough to come home, which was only the half truth. Undoubtedly, baby is small but he definitely could come home in that size if he had been born normal but we did not tell Nat about baby having his spine born out, having an open neural tube defect and having one surgery after another. We thought it was probably too much for a four year old to handle then. Well, how much would he be able to comprehend of that?
Then when Jeremiah finally came home, all the focus was on Jeremiah. Suddenly all the love that Nat enjoyed seemed to be channeled to the little one. Nat seemed almost suddenly replaced. Well, that's probably how Nat must have felt. Soon, Nat started to act up alot!
Till today, 20 months later, Nat still acts up quite a bit and I can only attribute it to his insecurity. Much as I know what's the problem here, I think I very much must be able to translate my thoughts into actions. To merely want to do something about it is not enough.
Love can be had only by loving.
Love it was that made us
And it was love that saved us
Love was God's plan when He made man
God's divine nature is love
Born of God's love we must love him
that's why He made us to love Him
but only when we love all man
Can we partake of God's love
but only when we love all man
Can we partake of God's love
Nat, if you ever read this one day,
I want you to know that I love you.
I want you to know you are my wonderful gift from God and you are a star!
and I am trying my best for you.
You and Jere are my special angels!
Thank you Lord for these blessings!
Monday, November 19, 2007
Sombre Saturday
It was the 17th Nov and I went down to the Club Rainbow family centre at Upper Cross Street for a briefing. They were organising a cruise come December for their Rainbow children and their families.
Club Rainbow (Singapore) is a registered charity committed to helping children suffering from a range of chronic and life-threatening illnesses and Jeremiah was registered as a rainbow child at birth due to his spina bifida condition.
This is the first time we are joining in their activities as they missed us for over a year in their events as they got our mailing address wrong. Then while seeing our neurologist at kkh, she told us to call the centre and we happened to also bump into another volunteer at our church of Christ the King. So we called and we were invited to join them on a cruise.
Anyhow, I found my way to the centre that Saturday and saw a huge crowd hanging outside the place only to realise that everyone was queueing to register for the cruise. While waiting for my turn, I chatted with another mother who shared that two of her children are rainbow children, one with muscular dystrophy and another with some heart problem. She's a strong mum, I must say. She spoke so positively and proudly of her children all and proudly showed their pictures on her mobile to me.
Then we went into the centre and the briefing started proper. We were advised to leave our children at home due to space constraints but nevertheless, some children were there which I believe their main caregiver were the parents themselves. Seeing some of them was already so depressing and I know I am gonna see worst and more in the cruise itself. I think this cruise is gonna open up the world of our eldest son Nat who is as normal as can be and thinks the world belongs to him and things should always be how it should be and will always be how it should be. A child who has taken life so much for granted coz things have always fallen nicely in place for him.
After the briefing, as Tim and I were making our way home, we met our neighbour's children playing downstairs with their helpers. They were two little gals from the fifth floor of the same block we stay. The younger of the two was born the same year as Jere but about 3 months later than Jere. I remember her as a children's day child. She was toddling while her helper held her hands. She was so cute and adorable! Thank God for her mum. Her mum was one brave lady that persisted to carry her throughout the pregnancy going against her whole family as she went for repeated tests that confirm she was carrying a down child. But this little gal, is perfectly normal when born. Thank you Lord that you gave wisdom and courage to this mum and made this wonderful miracle happen to this little gal. I played briefly with her and we went on our way. As we entered the lift to go up, Tim and I was silent. Then I broke the silence saying....
"I can't help feeling really sad seeing the little gal who is younger than Jere already walking and our baby is still crawling"
Tim said "me too!" quietly but clearly.
Lord, please make our Jeremiah walk. Please straighten and strengthen his feet that he can get up and walk. Lord, make this child Jeremiah walk like any other child would. Restore Jeremiah to perfect health. This we ask in Jesus name! AMEN
Club Rainbow (Singapore) is a registered charity committed to helping children suffering from a range of chronic and life-threatening illnesses and Jeremiah was registered as a rainbow child at birth due to his spina bifida condition.
This is the first time we are joining in their activities as they missed us for over a year in their events as they got our mailing address wrong. Then while seeing our neurologist at kkh, she told us to call the centre and we happened to also bump into another volunteer at our church of Christ the King. So we called and we were invited to join them on a cruise.
Anyhow, I found my way to the centre that Saturday and saw a huge crowd hanging outside the place only to realise that everyone was queueing to register for the cruise. While waiting for my turn, I chatted with another mother who shared that two of her children are rainbow children, one with muscular dystrophy and another with some heart problem. She's a strong mum, I must say. She spoke so positively and proudly of her children all and proudly showed their pictures on her mobile to me.
Then we went into the centre and the briefing started proper. We were advised to leave our children at home due to space constraints but nevertheless, some children were there which I believe their main caregiver were the parents themselves. Seeing some of them was already so depressing and I know I am gonna see worst and more in the cruise itself. I think this cruise is gonna open up the world of our eldest son Nat who is as normal as can be and thinks the world belongs to him and things should always be how it should be and will always be how it should be. A child who has taken life so much for granted coz things have always fallen nicely in place for him.
After the briefing, as Tim and I were making our way home, we met our neighbour's children playing downstairs with their helpers. They were two little gals from the fifth floor of the same block we stay. The younger of the two was born the same year as Jere but about 3 months later than Jere. I remember her as a children's day child. She was toddling while her helper held her hands. She was so cute and adorable! Thank God for her mum. Her mum was one brave lady that persisted to carry her throughout the pregnancy going against her whole family as she went for repeated tests that confirm she was carrying a down child. But this little gal, is perfectly normal when born. Thank you Lord that you gave wisdom and courage to this mum and made this wonderful miracle happen to this little gal. I played briefly with her and we went on our way. As we entered the lift to go up, Tim and I was silent. Then I broke the silence saying....
"I can't help feeling really sad seeing the little gal who is younger than Jere already walking and our baby is still crawling"
Tim said "me too!" quietly but clearly.
Lord, please make our Jeremiah walk. Please straighten and strengthen his feet that he can get up and walk. Lord, make this child Jeremiah walk like any other child would. Restore Jeremiah to perfect health. This we ask in Jesus name! AMEN
Thursday, November 8, 2007
Holidays???
A break! The last time we went for a break was our Bali trip back when Jere was still in the tum tum of mama.
Big bro Nat had been nagging us for a holiday but due to financial and the medical worries of Jere, we told him sorry. Daddy Tim also had been wanting a break for the longest time as he was all stressed out by family and work but I said NO too. I told them, well if they prayed hard enough, maybe it would happen.
God heard them :)
I guess they must have been praying so really hard especially Nat that we are having holidays in all modes.
What holidays God have granted us.....
A Bangkok and Pattaya trip by plane in Oct/Nov
and what more He has in store for us.....
A night stay at Conrad Singapore in Nov
A drive up to Malaysia French themed resort in Nov
A cruise on Star Virgo with Club Rainbow! in Dec
Big bro Nat had been nagging us for a holiday but due to financial and the medical worries of Jere, we told him sorry. Daddy Tim also had been wanting a break for the longest time as he was all stressed out by family and work but I said NO too. I told them, well if they prayed hard enough, maybe it would happen.
God heard them :)
I guess they must have been praying so really hard especially Nat that we are having holidays in all modes.
What holidays God have granted us.....
A Bangkok and Pattaya trip by plane in Oct/Nov
and what more He has in store for us.....
A night stay at Conrad Singapore in Nov
A drive up to Malaysia French themed resort in Nov
A cruise on Star Virgo with Club Rainbow! in Dec
A solution to the helper crisis
I had been ranting about the whole darn thing for so long and losing sleep and getting stressed.......... and guess it's coming to an end.
Yes. Praise God! He has found a new helper for us.....*drumroll* please! MARY JANE!
No she's not the spidy man's gal but well, we'll see how things go. Jere seems to adapt to her quite well. She's been with us since Monday night. That means about 3 days and other than the fact that she dropped Nat's piano book on the way to piano lesson, things are going smooth. Thank you Lord. Ok, I don't really think she is to be blamed but our dear trainer cum manager Ros (old helper) did not give her any bag to put the books and ended up they dropped it on the way without realising. This got me a little mad at that moment... but looking back, thank God they did not tell me they dropped something more important. Nat on the other hand is still trying to size her up.
I pray that she will be the one for us. She studied midwifery before and showed no fear or apprehension when I told her of Jeremiah's condition. She even knew the medical term to "water in the head" saying "hydrocephalus" when I told it to her. Apparently she loves reading and has gained this knowledge through her own reading. She also was not put off at all when I told her she had to massage Jere's anus so he can poo poo out every morning and evening. So our journey with our new help begins.
Do pray with us that she would be a good fit for our family and take good care of the children, our wonderful blessings from God.
Yes. Praise God! He has found a new helper for us.....*drumroll* please! MARY JANE!
No she's not the spidy man's gal but well, we'll see how things go. Jere seems to adapt to her quite well. She's been with us since Monday night. That means about 3 days and other than the fact that she dropped Nat's piano book on the way to piano lesson, things are going smooth. Thank you Lord. Ok, I don't really think she is to be blamed but our dear trainer cum manager Ros (old helper) did not give her any bag to put the books and ended up they dropped it on the way without realising. This got me a little mad at that moment... but looking back, thank God they did not tell me they dropped something more important. Nat on the other hand is still trying to size her up.
I pray that she will be the one for us. She studied midwifery before and showed no fear or apprehension when I told her of Jeremiah's condition. She even knew the medical term to "water in the head" saying "hydrocephalus" when I told it to her. Apparently she loves reading and has gained this knowledge through her own reading. She also was not put off at all when I told her she had to massage Jere's anus so he can poo poo out every morning and evening. So our journey with our new help begins.
Do pray with us that she would be a good fit for our family and take good care of the children, our wonderful blessings from God.
Friday, October 19, 2007
Adios Ros!
Jere,
This is your Tita Ros that took care of you from the time you were 1 month old till I guess 16 months?
This is one of the pictures taken when she's reading the G! Magazine from our Church of Christ the King and you just like to flip whatever she is reading. Cheeky you.
Once her documents is done and cleared, she'll be off to get married and take care of her 11 year old daughter.
We wish her happiness and all the best.
We pray that we will get a new Tita that will love you just as much, if not even more :) Lord, guide us and send us your angel :)
Love, Mummy
Thursday, October 18, 2007
HEALING
*okie if you like to skip the story and go straight to the mass details, please scroll down*
"I NEED HEALING!I NEED HEALING MASS!"
shouts the helper even after all the saga she presented me.
At the carpark this morning as she was carrying Jerry to send us off, the usual morning ritual, she said,
"I NEED HEALING!I NEED HEALING MASS!"
I could sense she is very disturbed by the whole matter of going back and all but she chose it even after I told her to think carefully about the whole thing.
Had a talk with her last night and she did not realise what are the consequences of the premature termination of contract on her side. She thought it was as easy as
"I wanna go home" and she gets her air ticket and gets flown right back.
so what's the consequences:
1. Serve one month or till I find a replacement, whichever is sooner.
2. Bear her own costs of air ticket
3. Bear the costs of the documentation of the next new helper for employer since she's only 8 mths into contract. This is to protect the employer and deter these helpers from "happy happy break contract" attitude.
When I told her all of the above, she kinda freaked out and told me,
"M'am, why don't you do me a favour and send me back as home leave? Pity me."
It's kinda sad, she asks me to pity her and who will pity me? If I send her back on homeleave means I cannot apply for another helper until I confirmed after her homeleave that she did not return. Then it will take me another 2-3 weeks to get a new helper. this means more than a month of no help.
After she told me all these, all the more I felt she should pay herself all the consequences.
Six months ago, she told me she needed to go back for her daughter's graduation and settle her husband's affair. Gave us a date to stick by coz it's the daughter's graduation and we gave in.
Six months later, she says "I need to go back and get married" and again gives us a date.
That aside, inconvenience, yes so much inconvenience is caused (just too bad for employer, well, in this case, that's our family)
Okie, am I being a little too unforgiving? Sometimes, I think I am too nice and being taken for a ride but sometimes I think I am a little too unforgiving. I can't deny the frustration, the disappointment and anger in me. Yes, I need the healing too.
So you see, besides the people that need the physical healing, that is Jeremiah in this case, all of us need some kind of healing. Something heavy that we throw upon ourselves.
and actually, holding the child Jeremiah himself indeed is very healing :)
Healing mass at
20th October 2007
3rd Sat Mass with Healing Service
Church of St Michael
Rosary session 6.45pm
Praise & Worship 7.30pm
Mass with healing session 8.00pm
See u there! God bless!
"I NEED HEALING!I NEED HEALING MASS!"
shouts the helper even after all the saga she presented me.
At the carpark this morning as she was carrying Jerry to send us off, the usual morning ritual, she said,
"I NEED HEALING!I NEED HEALING MASS!"
I could sense she is very disturbed by the whole matter of going back and all but she chose it even after I told her to think carefully about the whole thing.
Had a talk with her last night and she did not realise what are the consequences of the premature termination of contract on her side. She thought it was as easy as
"I wanna go home" and she gets her air ticket and gets flown right back.
so what's the consequences:
1. Serve one month or till I find a replacement, whichever is sooner.
2. Bear her own costs of air ticket
3. Bear the costs of the documentation of the next new helper for employer since she's only 8 mths into contract. This is to protect the employer and deter these helpers from "happy happy break contract" attitude.
When I told her all of the above, she kinda freaked out and told me,
"M'am, why don't you do me a favour and send me back as home leave? Pity me."
It's kinda sad, she asks me to pity her and who will pity me? If I send her back on homeleave means I cannot apply for another helper until I confirmed after her homeleave that she did not return. Then it will take me another 2-3 weeks to get a new helper. this means more than a month of no help.
After she told me all these, all the more I felt she should pay herself all the consequences.
Six months ago, she told me she needed to go back for her daughter's graduation and settle her husband's affair. Gave us a date to stick by coz it's the daughter's graduation and we gave in.
Six months later, she says "I need to go back and get married" and again gives us a date.
That aside, inconvenience, yes so much inconvenience is caused (just too bad for employer, well, in this case, that's our family)
Okie, am I being a little too unforgiving? Sometimes, I think I am too nice and being taken for a ride but sometimes I think I am a little too unforgiving. I can't deny the frustration, the disappointment and anger in me. Yes, I need the healing too.
So you see, besides the people that need the physical healing, that is Jeremiah in this case, all of us need some kind of healing. Something heavy that we throw upon ourselves.
and actually, holding the child Jeremiah himself indeed is very healing :)
Healing mass at
20th October 2007
3rd Sat Mass with Healing Service
Church of St Michael
Rosary session 6.45pm
Praise & Worship 7.30pm
Mass with healing session 8.00pm
See u there! God bless!
The search for a new helper begins....
Lord be with us as we search for someone to help take care of our family and home while Tim and I work. Lead us to the right help who loves you Lord and see Nathaniel and Jeremiah as blessings from you Lord and love them too.
Lord, I know you have someone out there who is also looking for us
Someone who loves you Lord
Someone with a BIG HEART!
Lord, I know when you close one door, you will open another for us for you have plans for us. Plans to prosper not to destroy.
Even with all the budgets, long-term plannng and cautious steps, things may not happen the way we like them to be but Lord, you can set it aright and we trust that you will set them all aright
Thank you Lord for the faith you've increased in us day by day. Thank you for putting Jeremiah into my life for I know it is through Jeremiah that my faith increased leaps and bounds. Thank you Lord for making us instruments of Your love.
Today, I am at peace for I know by staying close to you Lord, nothing is impossible.
So Lord, with you beside us, we'll never give up for we can do all things through God who strenghthens me (Phil 4:13)
Lord, I know you have someone out there who is also looking for us
Someone who loves you Lord
Someone with a BIG HEART!
Lord, I know when you close one door, you will open another for us for you have plans for us. Plans to prosper not to destroy.
Even with all the budgets, long-term plannng and cautious steps, things may not happen the way we like them to be but Lord, you can set it aright and we trust that you will set them all aright
Thank you Lord for the faith you've increased in us day by day. Thank you for putting Jeremiah into my life for I know it is through Jeremiah that my faith increased leaps and bounds. Thank you Lord for making us instruments of Your love.
Today, I am at peace for I know by staying close to you Lord, nothing is impossible.
So Lord, with you beside us, we'll never give up for we can do all things through God who strenghthens me (Phil 4:13)
Helper sacked us?
My mind is in a whirl.
The helper dropped the bomb last night.
She gave us the sack.
Says she needs to be out of here by November.
Just took her salary on Sunday and 3 days later says she wanna go home.
And so I thought she loved and cared for Jere a lot....
But she just told us, she wanna go home last night to get married. She found a swiss boyfriend and it's her opportunity.
6 months ago, just in April, she told me she had to go home to settle her stuff as her husband is having an affair and I let her go.
Thought it was settled.
6 months later, now she tells me she found a new boyfriend and wanna get married.
What's with these people?
I hardly slept a wink.
Worried. Yes I am.
Where do I go from here?
If any of you reading got a good solution for us, please drop us a note.
Lord, I surrender this to you for I know you have plans for us. Plans to prosper not to destroy. Lord, please take over me.
The helper dropped the bomb last night.
She gave us the sack.
Says she needs to be out of here by November.
Just took her salary on Sunday and 3 days later says she wanna go home.
And so I thought she loved and cared for Jere a lot....
But she just told us, she wanna go home last night to get married. She found a swiss boyfriend and it's her opportunity.
6 months ago, just in April, she told me she had to go home to settle her stuff as her husband is having an affair and I let her go.
Thought it was settled.
6 months later, now she tells me she found a new boyfriend and wanna get married.
What's with these people?
I hardly slept a wink.
Worried. Yes I am.
Where do I go from here?
If any of you reading got a good solution for us, please drop us a note.
Lord, I surrender this to you for I know you have plans for us. Plans to prosper not to destroy. Lord, please take over me.
Friday, October 12, 2007
Mummy, When will Jerry grow up?
pop quiz by Nat this morning as we were sending him to school
Nat: Mummy, When will Jerry grow up?
Me: What you mean grow up?
Nat: Stand, walk and run with me.
Me: Jerry is a special baby. By right, baby this age should be able to stand and walk already. But Jerry is born with a defect
Nat: What is a defect?
Me: Defect means something was not quite right about him. His spine which is the bone behind here (pointing to my spine) was outside when he was born. That was why we had to send him for operation. So his hips down is affected and this makes him have not as much strength to stand or walk. Only God can help. So you gotta pray really hard for this to happen.
Nat listening intently all the while then butted in to say....
Nat: Pray really hard?
Me: Yeah. Pray really hard.
There was a long silence.
My heart was in pieces. On one hand,I felt sad that Jerry could not get on his feet and walk yet. On the other hand, I also felt really sad for Nat who had always wanted a younger sibling to play with him. To run with him. To kick a ball with him. To play catching with him.
Won't you all just pray as hard together with Nat for his little brother to stand up, walk, run and play with him?
Yes, Jerry WILL walk.
not just walk.
Jerry will run, hop, skip and jump. Most of all, Jerry will dance for the Lord and be a testimony of His wonderful love for us.
Jerry is a miracle kid and will carry on to be!
Now, even the kid knows there's nothing my God cannot do!
Nat: Mummy, When will Jerry grow up?
Me: What you mean grow up?
Nat: Stand, walk and run with me.
Me: Jerry is a special baby. By right, baby this age should be able to stand and walk already. But Jerry is born with a defect
Nat: What is a defect?
Me: Defect means something was not quite right about him. His spine which is the bone behind here (pointing to my spine) was outside when he was born. That was why we had to send him for operation. So his hips down is affected and this makes him have not as much strength to stand or walk. Only God can help. So you gotta pray really hard for this to happen.
Nat listening intently all the while then butted in to say....
Nat: Pray really hard?
Me: Yeah. Pray really hard.
There was a long silence.
My heart was in pieces. On one hand,I felt sad that Jerry could not get on his feet and walk yet. On the other hand, I also felt really sad for Nat who had always wanted a younger sibling to play with him. To run with him. To kick a ball with him. To play catching with him.
Won't you all just pray as hard together with Nat for his little brother to stand up, walk, run and play with him?
Yes, Jerry WILL walk.
not just walk.
Jerry will run, hop, skip and jump. Most of all, Jerry will dance for the Lord and be a testimony of His wonderful love for us.
Jerry is a miracle kid and will carry on to be!
Now, even the kid knows there's nothing my God cannot do!
Sunday, July 29, 2007
The Special Mother
jus to share
last week i was at a seminar for what to do with your brain injured child and during the seminar lectures, this letter was read and it brought tears to my eyes so i came back and did a search and
i got this from the net
http://www.our-kids.org/Archives/Special_mother.html
enjoy.
The Special Mother
by Erma Bombeck
Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures and a couple by habit.
This year nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children. Did you ever wonder how mothers of handicapped children are chosen?
Somehow I visualize God hovering over earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger.
"Armstrong, Beth; son. Patron saint...give her Gerard. He's used to profanity."
"Forrest, Marjorie; daughter. Patron saint, Cecelia."
"Rutledge, Carrie; twins. Patron saint, Matthew."
Finally He passes a name to an angel and smiles, "Give her a handicapped child."
The angel is curious. "Why this one God? She's so happy."
"Exactly," smiles God, "Could I give a handicapped child to a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel."
"But has she patience?" asks the angel.
"I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she'll handle it."
"I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has her own world. She has to make her live in her world and that's not going to be easy."
"But, Lord, I don't think she even believes in you." God smiles, "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect - she has just enough selfishness." The angel gasps - "selfishness? is that a virtue?"
God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a 'spoken word'". She will never consider a "step" ordinary. When her child says 'Momma' for the first time, she will be present at a miracle, and will know it!"
"I will permit her to see clearly the things I see...ignorance, cruelty, prejudice....and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life, because she is doing My work as surely as if she is here by My side".
"And what about her Patron saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in mid-air.
God smiles, "A mirror will suffice."
last week i was at a seminar for what to do with your brain injured child and during the seminar lectures, this letter was read and it brought tears to my eyes so i came back and did a search and
i got this from the net
http://www.our-kids.org/Archives/Special_mother.html
enjoy.
The Special Mother
by Erma Bombeck
Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures and a couple by habit.
This year nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children. Did you ever wonder how mothers of handicapped children are chosen?
Somehow I visualize God hovering over earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger.
"Armstrong, Beth; son. Patron saint...give her Gerard. He's used to profanity."
"Forrest, Marjorie; daughter. Patron saint, Cecelia."
"Rutledge, Carrie; twins. Patron saint, Matthew."
Finally He passes a name to an angel and smiles, "Give her a handicapped child."
The angel is curious. "Why this one God? She's so happy."
"Exactly," smiles God, "Could I give a handicapped child to a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel."
"But has she patience?" asks the angel.
"I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she'll handle it."
"I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has her own world. She has to make her live in her world and that's not going to be easy."
"But, Lord, I don't think she even believes in you." God smiles, "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect - she has just enough selfishness." The angel gasps - "selfishness? is that a virtue?"
God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a 'spoken word'". She will never consider a "step" ordinary. When her child says 'Momma' for the first time, she will be present at a miracle, and will know it!"
"I will permit her to see clearly the things I see...ignorance, cruelty, prejudice....and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life, because she is doing My work as surely as if she is here by My side".
"And what about her Patron saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in mid-air.
God smiles, "A mirror will suffice."
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Missing In Action
If you find us as above...
it's because, I am crashing 2 weeks work in one coz i need to attend the week long seminar of "what to do with your brain injured child" and much as i like to post lotsa stuff, i really can't afford the time...
and yes, i finally got the confirmation again! Thank you Lord!
so u guys juz keep praying for us k! for jere's well being and of coz for me attending the seminar.
Love,
Mich
it's because, I am crashing 2 weeks work in one coz i need to attend the week long seminar of "what to do with your brain injured child" and much as i like to post lotsa stuff, i really can't afford the time...
and yes, i finally got the confirmation again! Thank you Lord!
so u guys juz keep praying for us k! for jere's well being and of coz for me attending the seminar.
Love,
Mich
Sunday, July 15, 2007
The best thing that ever happened to me....
....is having my two wonderful boys! REALLY!
when i am tired and they smile at me.... everything's ok
when i am shouting for help and there's nobody else around and nat comes.
when nat apologises when he was a little exasperated with me for calling him ten thousand times to fetch this and that for me while i washed jere.
thank you Lord for these wonderful blessings in my life.
when i am tired and they smile at me.... everything's ok
when i am shouting for help and there's nobody else around and nat comes.
when nat apologises when he was a little exasperated with me for calling him ten thousand times to fetch this and that for me while i washed jere.
thank you Lord for these wonderful blessings in my life.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)