J trackback : 13th July 2006 afternoon

1600hr Dr Tang called to say that he had to op on Jerry
at 1900. I rushed down to the hospital
at 1700 to sign the papers.
1745 Jerry woke and cried for feed but NIL by mouth. He cried till
1915 when i brought him down to the operation theatre. Poor boy. God be with Jerry baby. Staff nurse Joanne was really sweet as she accompanied us down to the operation theatre.Being a mother herself, i guess she really sympathised with me as my tears kept rolling dowm my cheeks. i could hear her walking over to tim and asking tim to give me some comfort.
Tim and I handed Jerry baby over to the people at the operating theatre after we whispered our prayers in between sobs. Jerry was still screaming away as i handed him over.
1915 We headed to the cafeteria to try to grab a bite but we could hardly eat.
1945 Went back to NICU to express milk
2100 Gladys and Jason came to hospital and prayed for us and with us as we waited.
2215 Jerry finally was pushed up. Dr Tang said no problem and explained he had put in artificial tissue and glue and Jerry would be put on antibiotics for next 7 days and be observed.
It was the first time after more than a week that Gladys and Jason saw baby J for the first time. They prayed over him.

J trackback : 13th July 2006

I am still praying for a miracle and i am really blessed and comforted to know that there's so many in the prayer loop for bb Jeremiah. From family to colleagues, locally to globally, friends and all their cell groups, friends from the local forum m4m who's been my support since nat's days. Lynn and Mandy from there were even thoughtful enough to start a fund raising drive to help us and Ratna have so big heartedly approved of it Thank you people! Your blessings will go a long way!

Today's update is:
Doc says gotta look out for infection since bb Jerry is off antibiotics. Please pray against infection.
Neuro surgeon will remove stitches on Fri 14 July and monitor for any leakage. Please pray against leakage and complications of bb Jerry as he gotta go into op straight to repair if necessary. Presently, there is swelling on the operated site. Doc says there is water that just wont drain off. Usually it should go into the blood stream but seems like it's not happening. Still we pray that it doesn't get bigger. The swell and bulge could also be due to water leaking coz there was not enough tissue to cover when the op was done as bb jerry was only less than a day old then. If after removing stitches, all is well, doc will review jerry in six to eight weeks with regard to his op wound and more MRI scans and go into op only then as new tissues and membranes would have grown by then.
Please pray that the swell would go, tissues and membranes would grow and the MRI scans would be positive in six to eight weeks and that no further surgery is needed.
Prayers are powerful.
Please pray for BB Jerry's condition.
Thank you all.

J trackback : 12th July 2006

It's 0737 in the morning.
Every morning without fail i will be there with my little angel. Look at him! People say he looked like me, mummy upon showing them our precious little one's pics. To date, nobody except us parents have seen him coz they are really strict in NICU. Only parents, pastors, priests, nuns allowed. All the others only saw the pics.
Our PRECIOUS!

Jerry is done with his antibiotics. Plug taken off. Doctors are monitoring him for another two to three days about what I have mentioned before, water system in head, spine and suspect of leakage at his operation wound site. Please pray that the water system either remain constant or drains off naturally to normal and the tissue and membranes to grow so that the doctors do not need to do any repair. Jerry will be a week old in just a few hours. We give thanks for this wonderful precious gift from Him.

Please continue to pray for little jerry.

J trackback : 9th July 2006

Jere is 4 days old! Look at the sweetpea. Sleeping so contentedly. His condition is more stabilised and they moved his bed. There are different classes. The class he is in now is more stable kind... without the oxygen tank and what nots...though still in neo natal intensive care unit (NICU).

Thank you Lord! We are taking baby steps....

J trackback : 8th July 2006

3 days post op. It was 0719 in the morning
I was allowed to cuddle Jere and nurse him. Afraid as I was to hurt him, i managed him gently. To be able to carry the little one was so much joy. Imagine having given birth and not being able to carry the little one for days.... and watching him suffer and not being able to alleviate his pain in the least. Not being able to hold him close and whisper to him you love him.


Carried him for a mere 15 minutes and the nurses said he had slight jaundice and had to be put under the light. i remember thinking it was so much torture when Nat had to be put under the light some 4 years back. Now i realise how we whine over the slightest thing. The light now seems miniscule in comparison to all that he's been through.
My baby. My warrior!

J trackback : 7th July 2006 - update

Well, that's me! looking quite fresh ah?
But of coz! That is 0730 in the morning.
Every morning, i would rush to hospital juz to say the morning prayers for my little one and also to catch the doctors who make their rounds at that time for updates.

and so this was the update i got
Blood count ok

MRI scan shows chiari malformation type 2 and syringomyelia
and myelomeningocele
there is absense of corpus callosum(the bunch of nerves that communicates between the right and left brain) and mild hydrocephalus (water accumulating in the head) is seen. we gotta pray against the increase in circumference of his head in terms of water accumulating there.

there is also more than normal water in the spine which we pray that all the extra water would miraculously by the grace of GOD return to normal.

Jere's a fighter and a sweetpea.
He opened his eyes and smiled at me this morning.
I know I gotta keep strong and positive.
I am praying hard and I know lots of people out there are doing that for bb jere too. Thank you Lord.

Good news is latest update in the evening, no more episodes of stop breathing.
and he's allowed to take 5ml of ebm every 3 hourly. doc is monitoring his liquid intake as there is more than normal amount of water in his head and spine which I pray that it will drain off and disapear miraculously by God's grace and will soon revert back to normal.

Also please pray for the control of his bladder and bowel movement. So far when stimulated, seems like no response. and his toes and feet too when stimulated also toes not moving. Please pray that all these will develop.

thank u all.

oh ... nat is ok. doesn't really know. cannot tell him. he thinks too much. so now he juz thinks bb in hospital coz still too small, well, that's what we told him.
he is really anxious to meet his didi

J trackback : 6th July 2006 - post surgery

Baby Jeremiah had a smooth op 5th July, 2006, yes the first day of his life to cover up the open neural tube defect and was on morphine till 5am, 6th July, the following day. Yes, morphine at not even a day old. Poor baby! My heart sank when the doctor told me that. The surgery must be so painful then for them to administer morphine. Breathing was slow and he had episodes of apnea(stopping to breathe). I asked to be discharged after my gynae,Dr Goh came to check me as I felt too stressed in hospital. I could not do anything for bb jere and milk wont come. I must breastfeed him as that is the best i could give him.


Here he is, still in neo natal intensive. The plastic box over his head is actually the oxygen tank.
MRI and blood count and other tests were ordered for him. Could not direct feed as better not to lift him unnecessarily.I had to get my spirits up and get the milk coming.

Everyone was activated in prayer asking God to keep Jere safe and a speedy recovery.

J trackback : 6th July 2006 - evening update

At first Jere was laid prone (on the front) to rest as seen in the earlier picture but due to the bouts of apnea (stop breathing)he was flipped over from prone to supine (on the back) hoping that there won't be any more such episodes. Prayers are activated against that coz it may bring about the delay of discharge or even another surgery. It was so painful seeing so many wires and tubes on him.

We were told that Jere had no Babinski reflex ( that is the doctor's term of running a key or tickling the soles of the foot and the toes should curl up). He seemed to have no feeling. There was also no anus puckering when the dr stimulated him near his bum. He also pee only when the nurses did bladder compression.
This means his motor movement of his legs and feet, his bowel and urinary movement are all affected.
We asked everyone to pray for all these in particular.
We just have to trust and pray.

J trackback: 5th July, 2006

That day is a haze as i recall now.

Tim and I left the NICU after 2pm the visiting hour. We went back to my room and so many thoughts were racing thru our minds. Yes, we were afraid and we know we had to pray. We called Gladys who was babysitting Nat the Korkor. Seems that Korkor is fine.We did not know what to tell Nat.


Nat's the korkor and he's been anxious to meet his little brother. We've brought Nat to visit friends when they gave birth. Nat sure wants to meet his didi when he comes. What should we tell him?

Our first visitors....

Shan came with her baby, Jerry and her mother in law.
Tim excused himself to go get something to bite since i had friends. He returned soon after. I know he must be feeling pretty lousy himself. Not being able to carry our little Jeremiah and Nat's not visiting yet... as he's with my sister, Gladys. They would only come after Jason, Gladys' husband finish work. Tim must be feeling as terrible as I did but we kinda suppress our emotions as we went through the day. I knew he needed not jus a pat but a hug as badly as I do.
And so our little valentine baby Jerry who was born on Valentine's day 2006 did the job.


The people at Nick sent a hamper and a card most sweet. Some of them sms me if was ok to visit but frankly, I'm not quite ready. Can't speak without crying most times.

Shan's mil was really nice. She told me that if we were ever in need of funds, she could help... no need to go to the banks coz their interests are so so high.

the rest of the crew angel and hengjong, qiuyan, xinling, ben, kelly, jo all came in the evening. tim's mother also came. I could see they all tried to hold back their tears too. I know they felt our pain.
Kelly brought holy water from Lourdes, a rosary and a little motorcycle gift for nat and some pocky snack for Tim. how thoughtful.

My dear nat came with my sis Gladys and Jason later that evening. Nat came right up to my bed and pressed my tummy. Of coz the tummy have not went down so he thought baby was not out yet. We gave him toys and distracted him. He kept asking and we kept distracting. Lord lead us.

God bless these people who came and reach out to us with their hearts.

J trackback: 2006 - Just Born and the News of Surgery

This picture was taken 5th July 0653am about 6 hours after Jeremiah was born.

Right after i birthed Jere, the neo natalogist Dr Simon Ng was called into the delivery suite to examine him, briefly told us about Jere's birth condition and had Jere wheeled straight into the Neo Natal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) I was not allowed to breastfeed him :( I was wheeled into the ward and could not sleep all night thinking of my baby.

Baby J was scheduled for op at 1600 hr to cover up the spine. It was not easy at all when I saw him all hooked up to drips.

Then at about 9 plus that morning, it was the first time we met Dr Choo Su May, the anaesthetist for the op later. Was given the greenlight to feed till 1330hr. I was so happy. Poor baby. He must be so hungry. I immediately latch him on. He was so little...it was so much comfort to be able to put him to my breasts.

After nursing Jere for a while, I decided to return to my room as I felt like there was no milk.

Just when I was about to leave the NICU, Sister Bernardette came in. Seems like a God sent! I really needed someone like that. I cried as I talked to Sister Bernadette and she prayed for me to surrender it to the Lord and peace to be with me. After which I returned to my room. I started to sms everyone that I know, informing about Jere's birth and the impending surgery and asked everyone to pray for a smooth procedure and no complications to arise.

We met Dr Tang Kok Kee about 1 plus that afternoon. He was the neuro surgeon that would operate on baby Jere. He explained to us about the open neural tube defect in more detail and told us that he would be the operating surgeon and we could ask him any questions if need be. I could not hear much or ask much as I was concerned to give Jere as much milk as I could before his op. Dr Tang then left me to nurse Jere.