At that moment of time when I walked out of the clinic after being accused of neglect and abuse of my child, not one, not two but I really can't recall how many times the dr threw the accusation at my face. I asked myself was it a mistake that I told my dear hubby, Tim to concentrate on his work and telling him I could manage the hospital visit all on my own when he had offered to go with us the night before.
I felt so lousy that on the impulse, I took out my mobile and dialled his number as I walked out of the clinic. Sobbing into the phone and almost crying my whole heart out, I must have frightened Tim. I related what had happened in the doctor's room with almost all the emotions I had, I think. Almost like an abused puppy that was rendered really helpless, I hung on to the phone as I walked my way up from the basement which was almost like hell on earth at that very moment. I walked to Macdonalds to get my little one a happy meal for his lunch as I was in no condition to try to get a hot bowl of noodles and feed him that. I hung up the phone when I reached Macdonalds and ordered the happy meal for Jeremiah in between my sobs. The staff very kindly told me to take a seat and served it to us in no time. I sat down with Jeremiah and looked at him. I cut up the nuggets for Jere and he started to eat while I was so affected that I did not feel hungry at all though it was way past lunch time.
Before I had realised, twenty minutes had passed and Tim called me back asking where was I and I said I was still in Macdonald's feeding Jere. Before I hung up the mobile, I saw him approaching us.
Tim: Come! I go and speak to the doctor!
Me: For what? They have given us an appointment to see her in 2 weeks.
Tim: No! I want to know what really happened.
Tim then walked towards the clinic, not realising that the clinic had moved to the basement. I then highlighted to him that the clinic was not where he thought and pointed him the right direction. Not really keen to go back there, I said I'll go to the pharmacy to collect Jeremiah's medicine.
We both then went different directions. I went to the pharmacy to drop off the prescription while Tim headed to the Children's surgery centre at the basement. After dropping the prescription, something in me just told me I should head to the basement, knowing how rash my husband can get and angry when his wife is being seen as bullied. When I reached the basement, Tim said the doctor was still there and they would squeeze him in to speak to the doctor. The staff nurse and the senior staff nurse then saw me and asked how come I was back. I explained that my husband wanted to see the Dr. Then they told me the doctor did not mean what she said and surely I understand that. They then brought me into one of their rooms and told me the dr was a good doctor and she was genuinely concerned and had not meant to hurt me at all and hope I would understand that. I then told them that if an educated person like me was intimidated by them, what more would the uneducated feel? Then I told them not to worry and I don't blame the dr but I really just did not appreciate the accusations at all. Then we went out of the room.
It wasn't too long before we were called into the room of the Dr.
Tim: Dr, what is this? what is this that I hear you don't want to see us anymore.... what is this about a court order? What is this about my wife being charged for neglect and abuse?
Tim almost sounded a little rude I felt in questioning the doctor on what is this.... what is this... what is this....
Dr: No Daddy... you guys gotta make a decision. I really don't know how else I could make your wife come to a decision short of threatening her. I feel I have really failed in what I am doing after 2 years you guys still not decided to do the catheterisation.
I was kinda shocked that the doctor admitted to threatening me.
Tim: No Dr, You definitely did not fail. Everytime I walk out of your clinic, I am very affected and would think of your proposal at least for the next few days.
Dr: Then what is holding you back daddy?
Tim: We are not at peace with it.
Dr: What is holding you back? Shall I arrange for you guys to meet other parents who has done it?
Tim: I must tell you first. We may come back with the same decision. NO CIC. NO VASECOSTOMY.
The doctor seemed kinder or rather a little more cordial and polite to Tim. Why? I don't exactly know the reason but maybe Tim was sounding angry and a little forceful.
It was the same conclusion anyhow to return in 2 weeks with the decision we should have come upon and meet with a parent of similar case of child.
We left the clinic and Tim rushed back to office to continue his important conference that he had left abruptly to stand up for his wife.
Thank You Lord for a husband who loves me so dearly
Lord grant Tim the graciousness, the humility and a forgiving spirit when faced with persecution, trials and tribulations. AMEN!
