Wednesday, July 2, 2008

The night after the urologist follow-up

That night, Tim and I went down for a walk to 7-Eleven on the pretext of buying bread so we could have a good chat. He seemed heavy. I know it bothered him.

Tim: Is there something you are trying to prove?

Me: No. What do you mean?

Tim: Are you trying to prove something on Jeremiah's expense?

Me: No. I know God has plans for Jeremiah. Plans to prosper. Not to destroy. He will be exalted of the Lord.

Tim: I'm just afraid. If making the decision is for myself, I won't be so afraid.

Me: What are you afraid of? Jeremiah blaming us like the doctor said?

Tim: Yes.

Me: I believe, Jere would not blame us for anything if we bring him up to believe what is right and what is wrong. If he chooses to blame us for anything, then we must have failed as parents and definitely deserve whatever blame there is. I believe that God will heal him.

Tim: So you are trying to prove something?

Me: No. I just feel that God has His purpose in making Jeremiah so and making us journey this life with Jeremiah. Jeremiah was made so that God's works can be seen in him. We will definitely meet with persecutions. Jesus, himself also met with lots of persecutions. No? Did He give up? No. Mother Mary saw her son suffered, but still she had absolute faith in God, our father. Mother Mary surrendered everything to our Lord. I just feel that we should just pray and have faith and surrender ourselves to Him too. Be not afraid. God goes before us always. I know there is nothing beyond our God. He is a faithful God and we just gotta stay faithful to Him.

Tim was really silent for a long while.

Me: Are you ok? So are you still worried? Disturbed?

Tim: No. I am at peace now after hearing what you said.

Me: You know what? The doctor gave us 2 weeks! Two weeks from the 26th June..... 10th July.The doctor told us to go read up on neurogenic bladder and come to a decision of a vesicostomy or do the 3 hourly Clean Intermittent Catheterisation (CIC)
When I left the clinic that day, I've already had this in mind. Read up on neurogenic bladder? No! That's not where I gonna find my answer. I had this prompting to read the book of Jeremiah and that's where I gonna find my answer. Shall we read it together and discuss about it? We should find our answer in God's word.

Tim: Ok! Let's do it!

I know this may sound almost insane, crazy, ridiculous, absurd to many of you... How could we find the answer in the bible you may say. But this is what we've decided to do so if any of you wanna join us on this journey, pick up your bible and read the whole book of Jeremiah and we can all share our thoughts about it.

Lord, help us to find the answer in your word.

Open my eyes that I may see
Glimpses of truth Thou hast for me;
Place in my hands the wonderful key
That shall unclasp and set me free.

Silently now I wait for Thee,
Ready, my God, Thy will to see;
Open my eyes, illumine me,
Spirit Divine!

Open my ears that I may hear
Voices of truth Thou sendest clear;
And while the wave notes fall on my ear,
Everything false will disappear.

Open my mouth and let me bear
Tidings of mercy everywhere;
open my heart and let me prepare
Love with Thy children thus to share.

Open my mind that I may read
More of Thy love in word and deed;
What shall I fear while yet Thou dost lead?
Only for light from Thee I plead.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Dearest mich,

Mother Teresa once said: "We can do no great things
only small things,
with great love."

Words of inspirations to comfort and give you strength,
Your blessings are upon my life and upon my soul every hour.
You help me worship you in ways to bring me success in all my endeavors in your name.
You bring me blessings uncountable.
You help me in ways I cannot see and cannot fathom.
In spite of my many trials and hardships, your blessings give me a joy producing praise, singing, and songs within my heart.