Confessions of the busy mama

I was knocked out of my sleep at 2.30am with the heat and just could not get back to sleep and was led here to blog my so long overdue post.

Pardon me if I do sound incoherent as it is now like 3am in the morning.

Frankly, I was drained. Overwhelmed. Caught up in my own world. So absorbed in my own challenges and trials that I forgot how much the good Lord has already done in our lives.

Guilt has also a part of knocking me out of sweet slumber as I know I had to do this.

I am feeling so guilty that I was knocked out of my sleep as I kept thinking how I had started this blog wanting to share my faith in Christ after the birth of Jeremiah and what we had and still going through with him but yet many a times I was almost unforgiving about how the drs had dealt with us till it came to a point that I stopped blogging. It's been like months since I did a proper post.

I forgot my first call to evangelize. I ignored the continuous nudges, the continuous prompting of the Holy Spirit. Really! There's so much noise in this world that God's soft prompting is sometimes so easily ignored.

Of course, God worked in His most amazing and wondrous ways. He called again, again and again. Finally, all I can say is "Here I am Lord. Send Me!"

The last nudge that hit me is from the earth angel Eunice and thank you Lord for sending her :)

Last week, after the Chinese New Year was over, I decided to take up the challenge of the 3-4 hourly catheter thing for Jeremiah. Frankly, I was still in much chaos in my heart about the decision. I went to the hospital and waited outside the treatment room at the Children's Surgery Centre waiting to be trained in the thing that I had dreaded so much. Maybe the people in the medical field would think cathetering a spina bifida kid every 3 to 4 hourly would have been the best option taken but to a normal mother like me, it pains me. Yes, it does. Imagine putting a catheter into the penis of a 2 and half year old every 3 to 4 hourly. In case, some of you still do not know what is a catheter, it's a fine tube being inserted through the penis, through the urethra into the urinary bladder to drain the urine. Why is it needed? According to the doctors professional point of view, this catheterization is useful when one is unable to fully empty the urinary bladder and Jeremiah is thought of this way by the doctors that he is unable to do so due to a supposed neurogenic bladder from his open neural tube defect. As I stood outside the room waiting, the mobile rang. It was from the social worker, Eunice of Club Rainbow. We had a short chat and she kinda lightened the mood before we entered the room. Eunice had wanted to meet up with us to give us some milk and diapers but I declined as Jere was allergic to cow's milk and as for his diapers, the little one had expensive bum since birth as we tried cheaper diaper alternatives from the pampers active and the little one had so bad diaper rash till his bum was raw. Then I passed the mobile to the little one to chat and thank Eunice for her kind thoughts.
Eunice: Jere, what do you like to drink?
Jere: (cheekily with a grin on his face) Milo and Coffee.
I was like what??? Jere, you don't drink coffee. Ok, the little one was trying to be a little cheeky. Jere laughed.
We hung up soon as we were next into the room but the coffee line certainly got us all laughing. After we were done that day and went to the pharmacy to get Jere's supply of antibiotics, Eunice called again to check where were we and guess what? The angel appeared with 2 big packs of diapers, a big tin of Milo, a book for Jeremiah and a catholic digest for me. I thought her thoughts and actions were the biggest! It was so sweet and it touched me so, telling me God is so with us on this journey. I was so not looking forward to this catheter training but the phone call itself so reminded me of God's presence and Eunice coming down with all the gifts was almost like an angel sent by Him to tell us He is with us throught it all. Especially with the digest. The digest was called "the WORD among us" has helped to wake me from my self absorption and shallowness. I had started this blog to proclaim His word, to glorify His name since Jere's birth but somehow at the end of last year, along the way I got absorbed into the noise of the world, I conveniently forgot to give glory to Him who has already done so much for us. I know there are many people we see everyday that need to hear us witness to our faith. I told myself then that i gonna revive my somehow dead blog with my very own experiences of the Lord and His working in my heart and mind. Indeed He works in His mysterious ways. How great is our God! When I shared this with Eunice, she told me that when she called me, she was actually prompted by a line she came across in Joyce Rupp's book which she was reading. She had cited Jeremiah 29:11. Praise God! He works in wondrous ways! and yes I always proclaim the promise that our good Lord has plans for us especially Jeremiah. Plans to prosper not to destroy. AMEN!

In the last few months of last year, I was caught up in bouts of infection of Jeremiah and all the procedures that followed till daddy Tim got a little tired over the whole thing of medical, medical and medical that he packed us all up in his biz trip to Macau. I was reluctant to spend the money, all around us rallied for the trip telling us it was time we take a good break and off we went. Thank you Lord for that good break as we ferried over to Hong Kong and the kids had a great time in Disneyland including me :P Yeah! more than 30 yrs on earth and it was my first to Disney :) and there is so much more to give thanks! I'll do this in another post.

Thank You Lord for bringing me back!