in the darkest hour.....
that's the message i concluded from a strangest dream i had last night.
The dream....
I dreamt we were in some war or something and were all captured and made to march. There was so much fear in us....
As we march, i caught a glimpse of the back of the gal who was marching in front of me. She had a scar on her spine like that of Jere and so i had to ask her, telling her i was curious coz my son had it too. She then shared that she too had spina bifida but look at her she's ok now. she's marching, walking, running like any normal person and she even told me she had twice as much the strength she used to have even marching in this thing.
usually, i wake up from my dream not being able to piece things together but this dream felt so real.
and so i concluded that we are all just caught up in this really dark and fallen world but there's hope within if only we believe.
Thank you Lord for my faith.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Monday, June 25, 2007
A Call to Minister
We were invited by Henreeta to a session on the 16th June at Novena church meant for the communion ministers.
Our whole family went and brought my dad along.
I went coz i always thought though i am not yet in any ministry, God has given me Jeremiah so that i can minister to others.
Tim always thought he is in the "father" and "husband" ministry which is no easy feat to him, he said :P
Father Augustine was there with another priest Father Verghese.
This was what we heard for the evening...
A psalm of David, when he was in the wilderness of Judah.
Psalms 63:1
O God, you are my God-- for you I long! For you my body yearns; for you my soul thirsts, Like a land parched, lifeless, and without water.
So I look to you in the sanctuary to see your power and glory.
1. invoking God
2. Intellectual level, in the mind
3. Personal attachment -- you are my God
My God knows my needs, satisfies my needs and You know me through and through. You know my strengths, my weaknesses
My soul thirsts for you - the love that I have for you, that I experience from you
I do this with joy for You where I minister, it is Your sanctuary. So we have to sanctify ourselves so that we can be empowered to minister. What we are doing are for the greater glory of God.
Luke 9:1
He summoned the Twelve and gave them power and authority over all demons and to cure diseases, and he sent them to proclaim the kingdom of God and to heal (the sick).
Mark 3:13-15
He went up the mountain and summoned those whom he wanted and they came to him.
He appointed twelve (whom he also named apostles) that they might be with him and he might send them forth to preach and to have authority to drive out demons
We are a fallen race but we are lifted up in the hands of Jesus. Those whom He wanted are those whom He loved and that's us! We are fallen but never NEVER ABANDONED
C
He's got the whole world in His hands.
G7
He's got the whole world in His hands.
C
He's got the whole world in His hands.
G7 C
He's got the whole world in His hands.
He's got the wind and the rain...
He's got you and me brother (sister)...
He's got the tiny little baby...
Joshua 3:1-5
Early the next morning, Joshua moved with all the Israelites from Shittim to the Jordan, where they lodged before crossing over.
2
Three days later the officers went through the camp
3
and issued these instructions to the people: "When you see the ark of the covenant of the LORD, your God, which the levitical priests will carry, you must also break camp and follow it,
4
that you may know the way to take, for you have not gone over this road before. But let there be a space of two thousand cubits between you and the ark. Do not come nearer to it."
5
Joshua also said to the people, "Sanctify yourselves, for tomorrow the LORD will perform wonders among you."
the 3 days is like a triduum... the triduum that we always have before a feast day
the levitical priests is like our ministry carrying the ark of the covenant, the ministry entrusted by God.
we have to sanctify ourselves today for the Lord will work wonders for us.
In serving, in ministering, we have to have the grace.
Father jokingly said, we human beings should have the labels as on glassware or petroleum
"HUMAN BEING - HANDLE WITH CARE. FRAGILE. HIGHLY INFLAMMABLE"
jus look how easily we snap and flare up at others... How true is this :P
7
Then the LORD said to Joshua, "Today I will begin to exalt you in the sight of all Israel, that they may know I am with you, as I was with Moses.
the above said is a confirmation of the power given.
and so with the power of faith, absolute faith, they crossed the river of Jordan.
Therefore we trust that God will be with us, empower us and sanctify us and counsel us.
Exodus 15:26
"If you really listen to the voice of the LORD, your God," he told them, "and do what is right in his eyes: if you heed his commandments and keep all his precepts, I will not afflict you with any of the diseases with which I afflicted the Egyptians; for I, the LORD, am your healer."
I Am The God That Healeth
F Am
I AM THE GOD THAT HEALETH THEE
Gm7 Bb/C Bb/F F C/E Dm
I AM THE LORD YOUR HEAL--ER
Gm
I SENT MY WORD AND HEALED YOUR DISEASE
Gm7/C C7 Gm/F F Csus C
I AM THE LORD YOUR HEAL--ER
F Am
YOU ARE THE GOD THAT HEALETH ME
Gm7 Bb/C Bb/F F C/E Dm
YOU ARE THE LORD MY HEAL--ER
Gm
YOU SENT YOUR WORD AND HEALED MY DISEASE
Gm7/C C7 Gm/F F Csus C
YOU ARE THE LORD MY HEAL--ER
We were told that there was a Praise and Worship session at the Church of the Holy Spirit on the 20th June at 7.30pm. For sure we will go :)
Our whole family went and brought my dad along.
I went coz i always thought though i am not yet in any ministry, God has given me Jeremiah so that i can minister to others.
Tim always thought he is in the "father" and "husband" ministry which is no easy feat to him, he said :P
Father Augustine was there with another priest Father Verghese.
This was what we heard for the evening...
A psalm of David, when he was in the wilderness of Judah.
Psalms 63:1
O God, you are my God-- for you I long! For you my body yearns; for you my soul thirsts, Like a land parched, lifeless, and without water.
So I look to you in the sanctuary to see your power and glory.
1. invoking God
2. Intellectual level, in the mind
3. Personal attachment -- you are my God
My God knows my needs, satisfies my needs and You know me through and through. You know my strengths, my weaknesses
My soul thirsts for you - the love that I have for you, that I experience from you
I do this with joy for You where I minister, it is Your sanctuary. So we have to sanctify ourselves so that we can be empowered to minister. What we are doing are for the greater glory of God.
Luke 9:1
He summoned the Twelve and gave them power and authority over all demons and to cure diseases, and he sent them to proclaim the kingdom of God and to heal (the sick).
Mark 3:13-15
He went up the mountain and summoned those whom he wanted and they came to him.
He appointed twelve (whom he also named apostles) that they might be with him and he might send them forth to preach and to have authority to drive out demons
We are a fallen race but we are lifted up in the hands of Jesus. Those whom He wanted are those whom He loved and that's us! We are fallen but never NEVER ABANDONED
C
He's got the whole world in His hands.
G7
He's got the whole world in His hands.
C
He's got the whole world in His hands.
G7 C
He's got the whole world in His hands.
He's got the wind and the rain...
He's got you and me brother (sister)...
He's got the tiny little baby...
Joshua 3:1-5
Early the next morning, Joshua moved with all the Israelites from Shittim to the Jordan, where they lodged before crossing over.
2
Three days later the officers went through the camp
3
and issued these instructions to the people: "When you see the ark of the covenant of the LORD, your God, which the levitical priests will carry, you must also break camp and follow it,
4
that you may know the way to take, for you have not gone over this road before. But let there be a space of two thousand cubits between you and the ark. Do not come nearer to it."
5
Joshua also said to the people, "Sanctify yourselves, for tomorrow the LORD will perform wonders among you."
the 3 days is like a triduum... the triduum that we always have before a feast day
the levitical priests is like our ministry carrying the ark of the covenant, the ministry entrusted by God.
we have to sanctify ourselves today for the Lord will work wonders for us.
In serving, in ministering, we have to have the grace.
Father jokingly said, we human beings should have the labels as on glassware or petroleum
"HUMAN BEING - HANDLE WITH CARE. FRAGILE. HIGHLY INFLAMMABLE"
jus look how easily we snap and flare up at others... How true is this :P
7
Then the LORD said to Joshua, "Today I will begin to exalt you in the sight of all Israel, that they may know I am with you, as I was with Moses.
the above said is a confirmation of the power given.
and so with the power of faith, absolute faith, they crossed the river of Jordan.
Therefore we trust that God will be with us, empower us and sanctify us and counsel us.
Exodus 15:26
"If you really listen to the voice of the LORD, your God," he told them, "and do what is right in his eyes: if you heed his commandments and keep all his precepts, I will not afflict you with any of the diseases with which I afflicted the Egyptians; for I, the LORD, am your healer."
I Am The God That Healeth
F Am
I AM THE GOD THAT HEALETH THEE
Gm7 Bb/C Bb/F F C/E Dm
I AM THE LORD YOUR HEAL--ER
Gm
I SENT MY WORD AND HEALED YOUR DISEASE
Gm7/C C7 Gm/F F Csus C
I AM THE LORD YOUR HEAL--ER
F Am
YOU ARE THE GOD THAT HEALETH ME
Gm7 Bb/C Bb/F F C/E Dm
YOU ARE THE LORD MY HEAL--ER
Gm
YOU SENT YOUR WORD AND HEALED MY DISEASE
Gm7/C C7 Gm/F F Csus C
YOU ARE THE LORD MY HEAL--ER
We were told that there was a Praise and Worship session at the Church of the Holy Spirit on the 20th June at 7.30pm. For sure we will go :)
Thursday, June 21, 2007
2nd Neurologist Assessment - June 2007
It went well! Praise the Lord!
Well....maybe she had more time this time,
Maybe we were her last patient and she wasn't rushing for a lunch appointment this time,
Maybe she had a feedback from one of the other neurologist who is in private practice but a visiting consultant at kkh that we consulted in mid June.
Maybe somebody else complained :P coz the last time when i was turned away, another was also turned away behind us.
maybe maybe so many maybes.....
most importantly i pray that God have touched her heart and yes let's believe it was that :)
you guys must have prayed for us for a good assessment. Thank you angels :)
Yes, we had the same doc that kinda turned us out some 3 months ago cos she was rushing for her lunch appointment. She was so much nicer this time. She spent a good whole 15-20 min with us.
I would say she did a much better job this time in testing Jere and Thank God for that coz i was telling myself before i went in that if she's gonna have the same attitude like the last time, i would complain and request for a change of doctor.
She kinda tested Jere's reflexes and legs holding them pushing them and said
"This guy's gonna be a crawler!"
PRAISE THE LORD!!!!
Yes! Jere will crawl and walk and run and dance for the Lord! Amen! Alleluia! Praise the Lord! Thank you Lord!
She gave Jere a small cube to hold, i think she was trying to test his pincer grip. Of coz Jere can do that coz he practises with the raisins that he always wanna put in his mouth :)
She even carried Jere for a brief moment, put him on her lap and sang London Bridge is falling down, mentioning that that's her son's favourite.
I asked her how is Jere globally and she said Jere is fine in all areas except his motor development that is falling behind his peers. We praise and thank God for blessing Jere in cognitive, hands and all great development and continue to pray for his motor development in his legs.
We went down to the physiotherapist after to see if we could get a smaller left side dennis brown for Jere but no... they did not have any so i thought big better than small so we will just make do.
We called the children's ah ta (paternal grandfather) to see if he could fetch them back home but he was kinda still sleeping . He probably drove his cab till late last night as it was already past 1pm.
So i put nat and ros and jere up the shuttle bus back to novena station where they got an mrt back home to amk :) saved my cab fare for them. Nat was excited to take the shuttle bus :P i was a little worried though.... wondering if ros could cope but i had to rush back to work as i escaped during my lunch time.
Thank you Lord for paving our way and making it a good one today :)
To top it all, it was even a better day as i was leaving the hospital to catch a train back to the office, the clinic assistants who were coming back from their lunch saw me and so warmly spoke to me asking if all ok, going home? and even offered me the fruits that they have brought back from lunch. They really offered! as in opening the bags and insist i take a piece! I was really touched by their warmth :)
Thank you Lord for being in all these people :)God bless their hearts
Well....maybe she had more time this time,
Maybe we were her last patient and she wasn't rushing for a lunch appointment this time,
Maybe she had a feedback from one of the other neurologist who is in private practice but a visiting consultant at kkh that we consulted in mid June.
Maybe somebody else complained :P coz the last time when i was turned away, another was also turned away behind us.
maybe maybe so many maybes.....
most importantly i pray that God have touched her heart and yes let's believe it was that :)
you guys must have prayed for us for a good assessment. Thank you angels :)
Yes, we had the same doc that kinda turned us out some 3 months ago cos she was rushing for her lunch appointment. She was so much nicer this time. She spent a good whole 15-20 min with us.
I would say she did a much better job this time in testing Jere and Thank God for that coz i was telling myself before i went in that if she's gonna have the same attitude like the last time, i would complain and request for a change of doctor.
She kinda tested Jere's reflexes and legs holding them pushing them and said
"This guy's gonna be a crawler!"
PRAISE THE LORD!!!!
Yes! Jere will crawl and walk and run and dance for the Lord! Amen! Alleluia! Praise the Lord! Thank you Lord!
She gave Jere a small cube to hold, i think she was trying to test his pincer grip. Of coz Jere can do that coz he practises with the raisins that he always wanna put in his mouth :)
She even carried Jere for a brief moment, put him on her lap and sang London Bridge is falling down, mentioning that that's her son's favourite.
I asked her how is Jere globally and she said Jere is fine in all areas except his motor development that is falling behind his peers. We praise and thank God for blessing Jere in cognitive, hands and all great development and continue to pray for his motor development in his legs.
We went down to the physiotherapist after to see if we could get a smaller left side dennis brown for Jere but no... they did not have any so i thought big better than small so we will just make do.
We called the children's ah ta (paternal grandfather) to see if he could fetch them back home but he was kinda still sleeping . He probably drove his cab till late last night as it was already past 1pm.
So i put nat and ros and jere up the shuttle bus back to novena station where they got an mrt back home to amk :) saved my cab fare for them. Nat was excited to take the shuttle bus :P i was a little worried though.... wondering if ros could cope but i had to rush back to work as i escaped during my lunch time.
Thank you Lord for paving our way and making it a good one today :)
To top it all, it was even a better day as i was leaving the hospital to catch a train back to the office, the clinic assistants who were coming back from their lunch saw me and so warmly spoke to me asking if all ok, going home? and even offered me the fruits that they have brought back from lunch. They really offered! as in opening the bags and insist i take a piece! I was really touched by their warmth :)
Thank you Lord for being in all these people :)God bless their hearts
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
A Friend's Prayer
This was Laura's prayer for me and my family last night via sms
I pray Lord that Michele will have restful uninterrupted sleep tonight.
Take all her cares away and send your angels to watch over Tim, Nat, Jere and Ros.
Renew her so that when the sun rises tomorrow
when she sees all Your creation around her, she will feel joy
that You are a powerful God
and everything that is happening is in Your control.
Bless the family and keep them safe.
Amen.
and indeed we had a good peaceful night's rest.
i really had an uninterrupted sleep last night. it's been so long. i woke up so refreshed and charged.
Thank you Lord. Thank you for my friend Laura. God Bless her heart!
I pray Lord that Michele will have restful uninterrupted sleep tonight.
Take all her cares away and send your angels to watch over Tim, Nat, Jere and Ros.
Renew her so that when the sun rises tomorrow
when she sees all Your creation around her, she will feel joy
that You are a powerful God
and everything that is happening is in Your control.
Bless the family and keep them safe.
Amen.
and indeed we had a good peaceful night's rest.
i really had an uninterrupted sleep last night. it's been so long. i woke up so refreshed and charged.
Thank you Lord. Thank you for my friend Laura. God Bless her heart!
Monday, June 18, 2007
How God speaks
and yes He speaks....
He knows I am down and He sends His angels to minister to me...
these are the comforting and encouraging words that I received via sms from Laura
Michele, U r doing the best in ur circumstances.
U have been brave for so long.
There is no doubt to God or ur family n frens that u have taken up ur cross so obediently never giving up.
Don't be so hard on urself.
Mothering is by trial and error
and you are doing your best learning hoping deciding praying.
I read a website of a mom with a special child.
She said her son is a joy to the family and loves God
(Jere can say Amen so cutely right?)
In man's eyes, Jere may not be considered well but in God's eyes he may be perfect coz God looks at the heart.
You can do all things thru Him who gives u strength!
Your reward is in heaven.
Our time on earth is a short time compared to eternity in heaven.
God bless.
after reading the message, I teared.
Lord I know you are walking this with me and all things are possible thru You Lord.
Thank you for speaking to me.
Thank you for your angels on earth.
Thank you Laura.
Thank you all you friends that journey with me.
He knows I am down and He sends His angels to minister to me...
these are the comforting and encouraging words that I received via sms from Laura
Michele, U r doing the best in ur circumstances.
U have been brave for so long.
There is no doubt to God or ur family n frens that u have taken up ur cross so obediently never giving up.
Don't be so hard on urself.
Mothering is by trial and error
and you are doing your best learning hoping deciding praying.
I read a website of a mom with a special child.
She said her son is a joy to the family and loves God
(Jere can say Amen so cutely right?)
In man's eyes, Jere may not be considered well but in God's eyes he may be perfect coz God looks at the heart.
You can do all things thru Him who gives u strength!
Your reward is in heaven.
Our time on earth is a short time compared to eternity in heaven.
God bless.
after reading the message, I teared.
Lord I know you are walking this with me and all things are possible thru You Lord.
Thank you for speaking to me.
Thank you for your angels on earth.
Thank you Laura.
Thank you all you friends that journey with me.
God Knows
Yes, He knows when I am feeling down.
I have my moments too....
As it comes to almost a year since Jere was born and everyone asking me if there's gonna be a celebration or not, the memory of the pain when Jere was born, how he went into surgery and all the fear almost a year ago gripped me! It felt so tight, so suffocating. Suddenly i felt so so down, thinking that I have not done enough for this little life that I've given birth. Looking at how fast the time flies and how little i have accomplished with him suddenly saddened me. There seems so much to do for Jere but so little time. Is it because I am working that I can't accomplish as much??? but if i don't work, how are we gonna cope with the bills? Can tim sustain???
I cried and cried at healing mass last saturday. I felt so suffocated by all that is happening. Work, family, and all the crazy rush to the hospitals for all the checks, the mri scans, the ultrasounds.... and more tests coming up that I've pushed till after Jere's first birthday
What's bothering me? i really don't know....
Counting, more than ten friends had babies the same year that Jere was born. All of them have more or less hit all the milestones. The milestones set by humans. Everytime someone sees us, they would ask... can he crawl? Is he cruising? Can he walk? We never ever thought such a simple question could cause so much hurt in a mother. Never. And yes, YES it's hurting inside everytime someone asks. Why can't humans just see what they can see and appreciate what they can see?
Why can't doctors and nurses use kinder words? I was trying to be nice when I saw this nurse in kkh who had used kinda nasty tones at us before when I saw her while wandering around kkh waiting for our turn at physio last Saturday. I said Good morning while this is how she greeted me "Still haven do ah?"(the clean intermittent catheterization she means) She did not even return the Good morning. How sad for these people. In 2 days' time, we've got an appointment with the neurologist at kkh who turned us away when I knocked on her door some 3 months ago. She said she's gotta rush for a lunch appointment. We had waited for more than an hour for our turn after 3 months of waiting for the appointment to have Jere assessed globally and when it was finally our turn, Jere was fast asleep. She said not to wake him and just asked me questions like is he babbling? is he sitting? crawling? and sent us out. Jere woke the minute we stepped out of her office so i knocked to ask her to assess him and she said she was rushing for a lunch appointment and walked right past us and off she went. Frankly, I don't look forward to seeing her at all and she's supposedly active in the organisation club rainbow. She certainly didn't seem compassionate to me at all.
The urologist is supposed to get back to me on the report of the last ultrasound as she promised but it's been how long since the ultrasound, i have not heard from her. She had told us that she would be going on a school trip with her daugther and she might be missing in action for a while. We saw her after the report was out the day the ultrasound was done. The report showed thickened bladder walls but no numerical values attached to it and I have asked her about it as the previous ultrasound showed thickened bladder walls but had a numerical value of 4mm. All she had to say was, you gotta do something... cathetherization or some punching of hole on the bladder or even circumsicion. Wait a minute, cant we do a comparison of the ultrasounds properly first before we make any decision???? Well, maybe the bladder walls are thickened but it could be lesser than the previous time? Shouldn't there be a numerical value or something to compare? otherwise how do we even plot a graph and assess what's the progress? then what's the purpose of doing all these scans???
maybe..... maybe all these pent up frustrations is just driving me a little mad....
i just need to surrender them to the Lord.
Lord, make me a channel of your peace.
this jus reminds me of the prayer of St Francis.
We just need to give of ourselves to meet the needs of others for it is in giving that we receive. that as we give of ourselves, we receive the peace and blessing of our risen Lord Jesus. It is our sins that block our claim on the eternal life. Lord, help me to forgive these people that hurt me. help me to let go Lord. I know deep down inside i still kinda can't forgive the gynae that saw me thru my pregnancy and delivered Jere. Just felt that he did not inform us enough of the tests that we should have taken and that aside, after the delivery, he was hardly compassionate about the whole thing. He even charge me a hundred plus for the post natal check. ok. maybe he was trying to be professional. but somehow he just gave me a feeling like he's kinda afraid we gonna pick up charges against him or something. straight after i delivered, he dragged tim aside and asked him, you didn't do the test???? tim was like what test?? did you even tell us??? all that i can remember is he always said.... it's ok la, you all are still young, just do the normal test will do la... the optional ones can skip.... and when things happen....???? Lord help me to see the goodness of it and let go.
Lord, grant me the peace, the consolation, the hope, the light and the joy in all these situations now Lord.
Make me a channel of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me bring your love.
Where there is injury, your Pardon, Lord,
and where there's doubt, true faith in you.
Make me a channel of your peace.
Where ther's despair in life, let me bring hope.
Where there is darkness, only light,
and where there's sadness ever joy.
O Master, grant that I may never seek
so much to be consoled as to console,
to be understood as to understand,
to be loved, as to love, with all my soul.
Make me a channel of your peace.
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned.
In giving of ourselves that we receive,
and in dying that we're born to eternal life.
I have my moments too....
As it comes to almost a year since Jere was born and everyone asking me if there's gonna be a celebration or not, the memory of the pain when Jere was born, how he went into surgery and all the fear almost a year ago gripped me! It felt so tight, so suffocating. Suddenly i felt so so down, thinking that I have not done enough for this little life that I've given birth. Looking at how fast the time flies and how little i have accomplished with him suddenly saddened me. There seems so much to do for Jere but so little time. Is it because I am working that I can't accomplish as much??? but if i don't work, how are we gonna cope with the bills? Can tim sustain???
I cried and cried at healing mass last saturday. I felt so suffocated by all that is happening. Work, family, and all the crazy rush to the hospitals for all the checks, the mri scans, the ultrasounds.... and more tests coming up that I've pushed till after Jere's first birthday
What's bothering me? i really don't know....
Counting, more than ten friends had babies the same year that Jere was born. All of them have more or less hit all the milestones. The milestones set by humans. Everytime someone sees us, they would ask... can he crawl? Is he cruising? Can he walk? We never ever thought such a simple question could cause so much hurt in a mother. Never. And yes, YES it's hurting inside everytime someone asks. Why can't humans just see what they can see and appreciate what they can see?
Why can't doctors and nurses use kinder words? I was trying to be nice when I saw this nurse in kkh who had used kinda nasty tones at us before when I saw her while wandering around kkh waiting for our turn at physio last Saturday. I said Good morning while this is how she greeted me "Still haven do ah?"(the clean intermittent catheterization she means) She did not even return the Good morning. How sad for these people. In 2 days' time, we've got an appointment with the neurologist at kkh who turned us away when I knocked on her door some 3 months ago. She said she's gotta rush for a lunch appointment. We had waited for more than an hour for our turn after 3 months of waiting for the appointment to have Jere assessed globally and when it was finally our turn, Jere was fast asleep. She said not to wake him and just asked me questions like is he babbling? is he sitting? crawling? and sent us out. Jere woke the minute we stepped out of her office so i knocked to ask her to assess him and she said she was rushing for a lunch appointment and walked right past us and off she went. Frankly, I don't look forward to seeing her at all and she's supposedly active in the organisation club rainbow. She certainly didn't seem compassionate to me at all.
The urologist is supposed to get back to me on the report of the last ultrasound as she promised but it's been how long since the ultrasound, i have not heard from her. She had told us that she would be going on a school trip with her daugther and she might be missing in action for a while. We saw her after the report was out the day the ultrasound was done. The report showed thickened bladder walls but no numerical values attached to it and I have asked her about it as the previous ultrasound showed thickened bladder walls but had a numerical value of 4mm. All she had to say was, you gotta do something... cathetherization or some punching of hole on the bladder or even circumsicion. Wait a minute, cant we do a comparison of the ultrasounds properly first before we make any decision???? Well, maybe the bladder walls are thickened but it could be lesser than the previous time? Shouldn't there be a numerical value or something to compare? otherwise how do we even plot a graph and assess what's the progress? then what's the purpose of doing all these scans???
maybe..... maybe all these pent up frustrations is just driving me a little mad....
i just need to surrender them to the Lord.
Lord, make me a channel of your peace.
this jus reminds me of the prayer of St Francis.
We just need to give of ourselves to meet the needs of others for it is in giving that we receive. that as we give of ourselves, we receive the peace and blessing of our risen Lord Jesus. It is our sins that block our claim on the eternal life. Lord, help me to forgive these people that hurt me. help me to let go Lord. I know deep down inside i still kinda can't forgive the gynae that saw me thru my pregnancy and delivered Jere. Just felt that he did not inform us enough of the tests that we should have taken and that aside, after the delivery, he was hardly compassionate about the whole thing. He even charge me a hundred plus for the post natal check. ok. maybe he was trying to be professional. but somehow he just gave me a feeling like he's kinda afraid we gonna pick up charges against him or something. straight after i delivered, he dragged tim aside and asked him, you didn't do the test???? tim was like what test?? did you even tell us??? all that i can remember is he always said.... it's ok la, you all are still young, just do the normal test will do la... the optional ones can skip.... and when things happen....???? Lord help me to see the goodness of it and let go.
Lord, grant me the peace, the consolation, the hope, the light and the joy in all these situations now Lord.
Make me a channel of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me bring your love.
Where there is injury, your Pardon, Lord,
and where there's doubt, true faith in you.
Make me a channel of your peace.
Where ther's despair in life, let me bring hope.
Where there is darkness, only light,
and where there's sadness ever joy.
O Master, grant that I may never seek
so much to be consoled as to console,
to be understood as to understand,
to be loved, as to love, with all my soul.
Make me a channel of your peace.
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned.
In giving of ourselves that we receive,
and in dying that we're born to eternal life.
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