Blessed New Year

To all of u reading!
I was lying in bed and thinking I should blog something to wrap up the year
I prayed for the Lord's guidance and here it is...
Somehow this song jus ringing in me as I think of myself, Jere, the people at Clouds of Praise......
so i thought i might as well put it down to share it.
for those who play the guitar, here's the chords as well

As Bread That Is Broken
A F#m
Many hearts are hungry tonight
Bm A
Many trapped in darkness
D E
Yearn for the light
F#m Bm
So many who are far from home
D
And many who are lost
A D
O Lord Your wounded children need
Bm E
The power of Your cross


Chrous:
A
As bread that is broken
D Bm
Use our lives
E
As wine that is poured out
D A
A willing sacrifice

Empower us Father
D Bm
To share the love of Christ
A D
As bread that is broken Lord
F#m E A
Use our lives



Help us to begin where we are
Help us love the people
Near to our hearts
Then give our faith a mission field
Wherever You may call
Lord love Your world
Through each of us
Until we've touched them all

( Repeat Chorus Twice )

As wine that is poured out
As bread that is broken Lord
Use our lives

I think this song is just so beautiful! so meaningful! and yes, Lord, Use our lives!

Praise the Lord!

Gone is the fever! Gone is the infection! Jere did a repeat urine test on Thursday 6th November and the nurse called back saying "Jeremiah mummy, the results is out, no more infection."

My reply "PRAISE THE LORD!"

ALL GLORY AND HONOUR TO OUR LORD GOD FOREVER!!!!! AMEN!!!!

Fever

It was 6am in the morning and I felt Jere a little feverish... Took his temperature and indeed it was 38 deg. Quickly, I called Tim to get some paracet to administer and put a wet towel on his forehead.

I really pray it's the runny nose that has led to the fever and not the bacteria in the urine.

Lord, I lift Jeremiah up to You and ask that You would put a hedge of protection around him. Protect his spirit, body, mind and emotions from any kind of evil or ham. I specifically pray for protection from fever and infection. I pray that he will make his refuge in the shadow of Your wings until these calamities have passed by. Hide him Lord from any kind of evil that would come agains him. Keep him safe from and hidden dangers and let no weapon formed against him be able to prosper. Thank You Lord for Your many promises of protection. Keep him safe wherever he goes. In Jesus name, I pray AMEN!

The Results

Sunday and Monday passed. The nurses said they don't open on Sunday and Monday is a public holiday so I could only get the results on Tues and they would call then. Came Tuesday morning, first thing I called KKH. Nisha first spoke to me. Passed me to Shikin and said that there is bacteria growth in the urine culture and it's an urgent and serious case. Note the words URGENT AND SERIOUS they used. Then she continued to ask when will you be free to come down? I replied if it was urgent and serious, why do you ask me when will you be free to come down? Shouldn't I be attended to immediately?

Shikin: Oh, then you can come down immediately if you can but you won't be attended by Dr Y ( the dr that Jere had been seeing all along) You will be attended to by the attending dr. Dr Y has instructed a bladder wash out, an indwelling catheter for 5-7 days and a change of antibiotics.

Me: What? What's a bladder washout ?(quite intimidated by the term)

Shikin: It's nothing really. It's just putting the catheter in, putting saline in and flushing out the bladder.

Me: What's the in dwelling catheter about?

Shikin: Dr Y said gotta put the catheter in and leave it there for at least 5 days.

Me: When can I see Dr Y so that I can hear from her what is going on?

Shikin: Thursday is the earliest.

Me: so if it's that serious and urgent, can we wait till thurs?

Shikin: If you can come down now then no need wait till Thurs. if Not, we wait till thurs. it depends on you mummy.

Me: what do you mean depends on me if it is urgent and serious? can it depend on me?

Shikin: Thurs is only 2 days.

Me: I really don't quite understand this. One hand you tell me urgent and serious. then you tell me depend on me and wait.

Shikin: hold on...

I heard a different voice saying hello.

Me: Hello hello, who is this?

Nisha: this is Nisha.

Me: What's going on? you guys juz pass me here and there.... Ok, Can you fax me the results and let me see?

Nisha: Results are private and confidential.

Me: What do you mean private and confidential? I'm the mother and I am requesting for it.

Nisha: You can come down personally to get it.

Me: ok I will do that

I hung up. Fear has certainly gotten a part of me with the words URGENT AND SERIOUS. I called Tim immediately and asked him how? what's the next course of action? I sms my prayer loop straightaway with the update.I told Tim I was not quite comfortable to go to KKH straightaway as an in dwelling catheter (IDC) means to be warded and how can a baby deal with an IDC? I said I like to go and retrieve the results and go seek a second opinion with the paedaetrician. Tim agreed.I hung up with Tim and still not quite satisfied, I called KKH again. This time, I asked to speak to Staff Zhang and asked what exactly is going on. Staff Zhang was more informative. She told me what was the name of the bacteria growth - enterococcus faecalis and what it was responsive to - amoxy and augmentin so that's why the call to change of antibiotics and she also explained that neurogenic bladder kids would usually do the bladder washout and not normal kids. Then I told her I was not comfortable with the IDC and won't do that. She said ok, she will inform Dr Y and asked me first to go down and do the wash out and get the antibiotics.

Now, I was confused. Should I go down and do the washout? Or should I wait till Dr Y explain to me? I called Tim again. Tim said to go to Mt A to seek our paed opinion and treatment of antibiotics. Tim said if we were to go to KKH now, we may well be warded immediately.

KKH or MT A?

Bernard from Clouds of Praise returned the sms saying he like to visit Jere. I told him I was heading to hospital and he said he will be arriving soon so I waited.

Bernard arrived soon and prayed over Jere and asked me what's my course of action. I told him I was thinking of a second opinion and he said LET'S GO and he would fetch me there.

Quickly I changed and rushed down to Mt A to see Dr Simon.

Dr Simon heard the whole story and ordered another urine test to see if the wbc was on a downward trend. He then said the good thing is Jere is looking well and happy. Then this time I called KKH again to ask if they could fax me the results and God bless, they did. Dr Simon then prescribed the Augmentin for me and Tim said to stay with Dr Simon's treatment till we see Dr Y on Thurs.

So Jere's now on Augmentin.

Will update again.

Thank you Lord for leading us to Mt A. I know you sent your angel to lead us there.

Meantime, please pray for Jere's protection and that we take the right course of action. Also that the doctors and nurses be blessed and guided when we see them again especially the doctors and nurses at KKH children surgery centre. AMEN.

Saturday.... Results????

I tried to call all morning but no one answered the phone.

Lord, I come to you in Jesus' name and submit Jeremiah to You. Jeremiah's our beautiful gift from You, Father. Thank you Lord for this precious gift of this child. Lord, I know that You have given Jeremiah to me to care for and raise. Help me then Lord to do that. Show me places where I continue to hang on for him and enable me to release him into your care and protection. Help me Lord not to live in fear of possible dangers, but in the joy and peace of knowing that You are in control and this day I release my child, Jeremiah into Your hands and trust my child to You. I know that You are in control Lord. You alone know what is best for him. You alone know what he needs. I commit myself to pray for everything concerning him that I can think of or that You put upon my heart. Teach me then Lord how to pray and guide me in what to pray about. Help me not to impose my own will but Yours be done in his life when I'm praying for Jeremiah.
I thank You Father that I don't have to rely on the world's unreliable and ever-changing methods for child rearing but that I can have clear directions from Your Word and wisdom as I pray to You for answers.
Thank You Lord. Praise you Lord! AMEN!

Somehow, I feel a kinda peace. I think this peace would not have descended upon me if I had not released it to God and ask Him to be in charge. I thank you all you prayer partners that have been with me.

You shall go out with joy and be led forth with peace
the mountains and the hills shall break forth before you
there'll be shouts of joy
and all the trees of the fields
will clap will clap their hands ...


and all the trees of the fields will clap their hands
the trees of the fields will clap their hands (2X)
will clap will clap their hands ...

Yes. God will make a way.

This just released me to see to the rest of the things I so needed to do. Today's Korkor Nat's graduation! Gotta run to Nat's Graduation!
Yes! God is in control.

He can turn the tides and calm the angry seas.

Yes. He can be everywhere, know everything. and He will take care of Jere. Thank You Lord. Jere will be well! AMEN!

Friday.... Results?

No one called all day. It was 4 plus in the evening and I figured I had better call or they would call it a day at 5pm.

I called and got through to Staff Zhang. I hung on the line as she traced the records.

Staff Zhang: The culture is still not out. The second test showed even higher count of white blood cells.

Me: what is the number?

Staff Zhang: The first was 500 plus and the second is 2000 plus. The culture test is still not out.

Me: ok thanks.

no... that's certainly not what I like to hear.
Quickly, I smsed all my dear brothers in sisters in Christ to storm heaven for protection upon this precious child, Jeremiah.

Lord, I lift Jeremiah up to You and ask that You would put a hedge of protection around him. Protect his spirit, body, mind and emotions from any kind of evil or harm. I pray specifically for protection from accidents, disease, injury, or any other physical, mental, or emotional abuse. I pray that he will make his refuge in the shadow of your wings untill those calamities have passed by (Psalm 57:1). Hide him from any kind of evil influences that would come against him. Keep him safe from any hidden dangers and let no weapon form against him be able to prosper.
Thank You Lord for Your many promises of protection. Help Jere to walk in Your ways and in obedience to Your will so that he never comes out from under the umbrella of protection. Keep Jere safe in all he does and wherever he goes. In Jesus' name I pray.
AMEN!

ON EAGLE'S WINGS

You who dwell in the shelter of the Lord,
who abide in His shadow for life,
say to the Lord: "My refuge, my rock in whom I trust!"

Refrain: And He will raise you up on eagles’ wings,
bear you on the breath of dawn,
make you to shine like the sun,
and hold you in the palm of His hand.

The snare of the fowler will never capture you,
and famine will bring you no fear:
under His wings your refuge, His faithfulness your shield.

Refrain: And He will raise you up on eagles’ wings,
bear you on the breath of dawn,
make you to shine like the sun,
and hold you in the palm of His hand.

You need not fear the terror of the night,
nor the arrow that flies by day;
though thousands fall about you, near you it shall not come.

Refrain: And He will raise you up on eagles’ wings,
bear you on the breath of dawn,
make you to shine like the sun,
and hold you in the palm of His hand.

For to His angels He's given a command
to guard you in all of your ways;
upon their hands they will bear you up,
lest you dash your foot against a stone.

Refrain: And He will raise you up on eagles’ wings,
bear you on the breath of dawn,
make you to shine like the sun,
and hold you in the palm of His hand

Our Urologist Appointment

Thursday came and I headed to KKH with Jere, calling the dear husband before I left the house to meet me there as the last appointment, this doctor had threatened to have me up for neglect and abuse. Not that I am guilty as charged, but I don't quite enjoy being abused by her especially in Jere's presence as Jere is such a sensitive child that he knows when I am hurt.

I reached the hospital about 1215pm but Tim was still not there. I prayed that Tim would reach in time and the doctor would be kind. I sat down with Jere and fed him some cereal at the same time saying my rosary, as frankly, I know I can't get thru the doctor's office without God's protection.

After about half an hour, Jeremiah's name was called. I was a little apprehensive about going in there alone as Tim had not reach. Nevertheless, I went in.

Small talk
Me: (upon entering the dr's office) Hello dr. Jere, say hello Dr.
Dr Y: Hello Jeremy, How are you?
Me: (prompting Jere) Jere, HOW A....R....E YOU?
Jere tends to get confused between How are you questions and How old are you? :P
Jere: Good. Fine thank you.
Dr Y: How old are you now?
Me: Jere, HOW O...L.....D are you? (emphasising the OLD)
Jere: TWO.... YEARS OLD
Dr Y: No, la...You're more than that right? (flipping her case notes to check Jere's exact age.) So how mummy? Are you ready to CIC (Clean Intermittent Catheterisation)?
Jere looked a little confused. Come on Doc, give the child a break....Surely you don't expect the 2 yr old to tell you 2 yr 3 months right?
Dr Y: (at her nurse manager)Can you measure his head circumference? (looking at his head with disapproval as if it was really big)

Yeah... it was strange that a nurse manager was in the office. probably because of the drama the dr created last time threatening to have me up for neglect and abuse and i broke down so bad till Tim marched into the dr's office demanding to know what exactly she had done.)

Me: Dr, Dr Janice Wong, the neurologist is monitoring his head circumference and it's fine.

Dr Y: How long ago is that?

Me: It's really recent. Maybe just some weeks ago.

Dr Y: ( still quite unbelievingly flipping her case notes, looking at the june date) no... that's months ago...

Me: No Dr, I am sure it's quite recent. Please look properly. ( almost wanting to turn the page for her)

Dr Y: (turned the page) oh yes, just in September. 52.5cm. (looking at her nurse manager)

Nurse Manager G: Yes, 52.5cm.

Speaking Blessings
Dr Y: ok, can you put him on the bed for me to check?
Me: Sure. Jere, can mummy put you on the bed for dr to check?
Jere nodded.
I put Jere on the bed, took out his diapers and then waited for the dr to come over.
Then Dr Y walked over, looked at Jere.
Dr Y: Come! Let me see how bad you have become (almost immediately catching herself) I mean let me see how good you are.
Usually whenever our dear dr spoke a curse, I would correct her curse into a blessing. This time, the Lord went before me and blessed our dear doctor and reminded her to speak a blessing :)

Daddy arrives!
Just then, a knock was heard on the door and my dear husband Tim entered. THANK YOU LORD!
Dr Y: Hello Daddy! so how? Are you ready to do the CIC?
Tim: No Dr. but if we are ready when would it be?
Dr Y: (grabbing the opportunity immediately) OH DADDY! IT'S WONDERFUL YOU AGREED.
Tim: No! NO! DR, I HAVEN'T AGREED. I am just asking IF.
Dr Y: (looking at her nurse) DADDY HAS AGREED! (starts writing on her case notes Daddy agrees to CIC)
Dr Y probably never would have thought I would have remembered what went on in that room and document every part of it.
Dr Y: SO when you wanna start? now?
Tim: No, Dr. I am not ready. I will pray about it and when I have peace , I will let you know when the holy spirit prompts me.
Dr Y: No Daddy, you agreed. You just come in and we will train you. We will hold your hand till you are confident. what about next tues?
I glared at Tim.
Tim: No Dr. I am not ready.
Me: Well, Dr, I have seen how this CIC is being done. Maybe, we can arrange for daddy to see how it's done and we'll see?
Dr Y: Great! So when should we do it? Next tues? ok. I put you on next tues? Has Jere had any infections so far? Have you been giving him his antibiotics?
Me: No. no infections. Praise God!
Dr Y: (looking at her case notes) it's been a long time since you did a urine test. Shall we order for one now? How? You wanna do it now? or you wanna go home and catch it?
Usually last time, I would catch it at home and bring it straight to the hospital.
Me: Dr, since you wanna show daddy how to do the catheter, why don't you CIC out a sample for your test?
Dr Y: Great! That's a good idea. He has not had any infections right? You been giving him his antibiotics right?
Me: No. No infections.
Dr Y: When we start the CIC, you must give him the antibiotics properly coz higher chance of infection.
Me: (looking at Tim) means we gotta start giving him the antibiotics again? I have actually weaned Jere off his antibiotics for a good 3 months.

I did not like the idea of Jere being on daily antibiotics so I slowly weaned him off and just prayed for protection everyday. Yeah. Some of you probably think I am such a fool. But really, in the Lord I trust. If you asked me to take risks such as investing in stocks and shares, my risk appetite is not that great for that :P

Dr Y stared at me, quite shocked that I took such a risk.
Dr Y: then today we cant do the catheter since you did not give him any antibiotics.we'll just catch a mid stream and you come back later we will show daddy how to CIC.
Me: what do you mean? If you gonna show daddy later how to do the catheter thing, you might as well CIC the sample now to send for test and we need not come back later.

Just how do they work, I couldn't quite comprehend.

Dr Y: No no... come! (looking at her nurse) attach a urine bag for him to collect the urine sample. (looking at Tim and me) you guys go for your lunch coz the urine test will take about an hour. then you come back after your lunch and we do the catheter.

Me: (still not quite understanding) WHY? WHY CANT YOU CATHETER NOW THE URINE SAMPLE? DADDY IS HERE AND HE CAN SEE YOU GUYS DO IT AND YOU GUYS GET A CLEANER SAMPLE.

DR Y and the nurses: NO NO.... almost echoing each other.

They sent us to the treatment room and there they started to attach the urine bag and told us to either wait there for Jere to pee or go take a walk till he pees. I then asked them again why can't they catheter straight and they just refused me. I surrendered. I went to get Jere water to drink to fill his bladder so that he would pee quickly for them as i was almost starving as It was already almost 2pm. The nurses walked out of the room. Jere then tore out the urine bag and peed out of the urine bag. Oops! I shouted for the nurse and the nurse came back to re attach the bag. It wasn't long before Jere peed. Then we left for our lunch.

I told Tim let's get out of here for lunch so we headed to Novena Square. Just as we were in the middle of our lunch, my mobile rang. It was about 3.30pm.

Nurse: Mummy, Jeremiah's urine test is not so good. You guys must come back for us to catheter another sample.

Me: huh? what do you mean? how come just now ask you all to catheter, you all don't want and now ask me to come back to catheter?

Nurse: errr... mummy, you just come back for us to catheter, the dr will explain to you. ok. just come back as soon as you can.

the line went dead.

I looked at tim.
Me: Did you hear that? the urine test is no good and they are asking us to go back to catheter a sample now. I just don't understand why they just wont catheter in the first place just now.

Tim gave a resigned shrug.

I quickly finished feeding Jere and we headed back to the hospital. We headed straight to the nurses' office.
When I saw the nurse manager, I asked her why didn't they do it earlier as I requested and she looked at the wall, looked at the floor, looked at the ceiling but just refused to looked at me, giving me a sheepish answer of.... "yes yes... wait wait we will do it."
I was a little miffed and asked again " I AM ASKING WHY YOU GUYS WON'T DO IT JUST NOW AND NOW YOU WANNA DO IT? WHAT'S THE REASON MAY I ASK?"
The dear nurse manager walked off, saying, "We'll call you when we are ready to do for you."
I was left stranded there carrying Jere.
Finally after a good 20 minutes or so, one of the nurses came out of the room and said, "ok we'll catheter him now"
I carried Jere in and continued to ask the nurses. There was was one senior staff nurse, one nurse and one manager and all of them just simply ignored my question.
Finally, I gave up and said, "I wanna see the Dr. I wanna know WHY JUST NOW I ASKED YOU GUYS TO CATHETER YOU REFUSED AND NOW YOU ASKED ME BACK TO CATHETER. IS THERE ANY SPECIFIC REASON."
The senior staff nurse then said, "Ok, we will get the dr to speak to you"
We finished the catheter session and waiting another good 20 minutes or so, we were back into Dr Y's office.

Me: Dr, WHY JUST NOW I ASKED YOU GUYS TO CATHETER YOU REFUSED AND NOW YOU ASKED ME BACK TO CATHETER. IS THERE ANY SPECIFIC REASON?

Dr Y: Oh... we were afraid to scare you off then you would not return for us to teach you to catheter....

Me: No, Dr. I asked you several times to straight away catheter so that we need not return.

Dr Y: I know you are very scared of the catheter so I don't want to scare you off.

Me: What are you talking Dr? (getting a little exasperated) I gave permission just now to catheter. Why didn't you all do it straight? Instead you wanted to use the urine bag and asked us back to catheter?

Dr Y: (flipping her case notes) The last times when we did the urine test, you did not do catheter and the tests were fine so there's no necessity to do a catheter.

Me: (getting a little confused) then why do you ask me to catheter every 4 hourly?

Dr Y: I asked you to catheter to drain the bladder.... not to get a urine sample.

Me: but since you wanna catheter, why can't you catheter to get the sample?

Dr Y: oh ok. if that's what you want next time, we will catheter ok?

Me: Dr, that's not what I am asking for. I am asking why? the reason WHY JUST NOW I ASKED YOU GUYS TO CATHETER YOU REFUSED AND NOW YOU ASKED ME BACK TO CATHETER. IS THERE ANY SPECIFIC REASON?

Dr Y: The last times when we did the urine test, you did not do catheter and the tests were fine so there's no necessity to do a catheter

Me: No Dr. THat's not what I am asking about.....

Dr Y: okok i put a note here... next time we want a urine sample, we catheter....

Me: That's not what I am asking about.... I am asking why? the reason WHY JUST NOW I ASKED YOU GUYS TO CATHETER YOU REFUSED AND NOW YOU ASKED ME BACK TO CATHETER. IS THERE ANY SPECIFIC REASON?

Dr Y: The last times when we did the urine test, you did not do catheter and the tests were fine so there's no necessity to do a catheter.

Me: (giving up) Arrrrrgghhhhh.... forget it! That's a lame and definitely not a reason. You are not answering to my question.

Dr Y: ok mummy. I gotta double you dosage of the antibiotic now. if there is any fever, please come in straight to the A & E. we will then put in an in dwelling catheter and.....

Tim: (cutting the dr short) IT WILL NOT HAPPEN.

Dr Y: ok, please go and ask the pharmacist to calculate for you how much of the antibiotics you must take now. We will trace the next urine test. This urine test shows a high white blood cell count of 500 plus when usual level should be 0-10. We will call you tomorrow or sat. If it's good, results should be out tomorrow. if not good, maybe sat or next tues. we don't work on sunday and monday. if any case just come in straight to A & E. hopefully the antibiotics would help.

Me: Please call us no matter what is the results.

The nurses agreed.

Not quite convinced, I got their number.

We left the room and headed to pharmacy.

Please pray for Jere's white blood cell count to return to normal.

I want to say something....

Jere said the above as we were praying the closing prayer after our therapy program.

Every Wednesday, I take Jere to Clouds of Praise to have some exercise, in other words, therapy. We usually start and end the session with a prayer and a song of praise.

This time, after the session when we were saying the closing prayer and everyone said their bit, Jere went....

"I WANNA SAY SOMETHING...."

Marcus korkor who was beside him heard him and said it out so his mum Cassey went, "Yes, Jere you wanna say something?"

Jere nodded and went, "JESUS, HELP ME TO STAND. HELP ME TO WALK. BLESS THE CHILDREN HERE AND MUMMY. AMEN"

My eyes welled up and rolled down uncontrollably. I always get emotional when Jere speaks like that.

Lord, you hear the cry of the child Lord. Jere has asked, Lord. Let Jere receive, Lord. RESTORE JERE LORD. HEAR THE MOTHER'S CRY NOW LORD. Thank you Lord. AMEN!

Urologist appontment

23rd Oct 930 am we will be scheduled to see the urologist. Pray for us people that
the Lord will bless Dr Y and let her speak blessings. AMEN.
I have asked Tim to take leave to go with me as frankly, talking about abuse, I think she does that to me no end just for the fact that I refuse to catheter Jere. It's strange how there are signs in KKH saying not to abuse their staff, why is there no signs to say not to abuse the patients? :P
Being an educated mum, I get scolded no end when I enter the doctor's office. What about those helpless and uneducated mums? I wonder.

Our 3rd visit(review) to NSC

Before I start, praise the Lord and thank you Lord He went before us.

It was the 21st Oct, time for our review at the National Skin Centre (NSC). As I approached the place, I was a little apprehensive. I said a prayer not under my breath but almost aloud as I entered the entrance of the place..... LORD, LET EVERY WORD THAT COMES FROM THE DOCTORS BE A BLESSING NOT A CURSE. LORD, BLESS THE DOCTORS IN THE ASSESMENT REVIEW TODAY. GUIDE THEIR HEADS, HANDS, MINDS, EVERYTHING LORD. LORD, I KNOW YOU ARE IN CONTROL. THANK YOU LORD. LORD, JUST LET THEM SPEAK BLESSINGS. AMEN!
looking at Jere as I pushed him in his stroller, I said "Amen Jere?" Jere answered, "AMEN!"
We went past the entrance, past the recept and to the lift to the second floor to the paeds clinic.
There seemed to be not much people that afternoon. We registered and I couldn't help asking.... which doctor is it and heaved a huge sigh of relief when it wasnt the same dr as the last. We sitted ourselves right outside of room 6 and I read the name of the dr. okie. we seemed quite safe today. It's an Assoc Consultant Dr Tan Kian Teo, whatever it is, thank you Lord. Within 5 minutes, we were called. I was shocked at being so fast as the last time i spent the whole afternoon from 1 to almost 5 at the NSC. I knocked the door and tried to go in the room with my big diaper bag, trying to hold the door open and trying to push the stroller in. Almost immediately, the doctors came to the door and tried to help me including the one sitting behind the computer which is usually the main consulting doctor. Dr Tan introduced himself and the other two doctors as we entered the room and I carried Jere out of the stroller.
Then Dr Tan started off asking, "How is Jeremy today?"
I stuttered as I answered "still quite bad." not sure how's these drs gonna be this time. I got quite a phobia from the last visit, really. The first visit when we saw the emeritus, it was good though the meds did not quite work but sometimes such stuff can't be helped and I can understand that. The second visit, the dr did not quite believe or even listened to the feedback of how jere reacted to the meds and she did not even assessed Jere. She did not even come near Jere as if eczema was some contagious disease. This time, I was quite prepared whatever was gonna happen but God sure came before me and blessed the doctors. They spoke very gently and kindly and Dr Tan asked me to put Jere on the bed and they all came forward to see Jere's condition. I took out Jere's pants to show how bad the skin on his legs was, showed them the tummy, the hands and the neck. Then Dr Tan even asked me to turn Jere around to see his back. Now, to me a layman, that's what I call a doctor. That's what I feel is assessment and then treatment. Then I told the doctors of what meds Jere was given previously and how he had reacted. Dr Tan then asked if it is affecting Jere's sleep. Gosh, if I haven't told some of you, Jere's itch is so bad at night that there was this one night at 3am, I found him without his pants and diapers. From then on, i always wore button down romper over his pj pants and diapers. He must have itched so bad that he just tore off everything and flung it off as we found his pants and diapers at the other end of the room. Dr Tan then explained that he will prescribe a little stronger medicine for the flare and some antibiotics for the broken skin and some antihistamine when jere cannot sleep at night this time alongside with some moisturiser. Dr Tan even went to the extent of asking what moisturisers have I tried. After everything, the doctors kindly saw me out, helping me with the door. The whole experience was completely different from the last I had. Thank You Lord.

As I stepped out and sat waiting for my turn to pay, I saw just next to the doctors room was the medical social worker room and the name read Joanne Tan. It seemed some few days ago, some MSW of that name called to ask if I would like to joins the Atopic Dermatitis support group. I then asked the staff if I could just meet with the MSW so as to put a face to the name. I met Joanne and she was one kind young lady. Jere seemed to like her too as she played and chatted with him. We left the clinic with an appointment in 3 weeks time and headed to the pharmacy to get our meds.

Praise God and thank you Lord for going before us and guiding the drs. Lord, I know jere is in your hands and the ultimate healer is you God and you will heal Jere. Thank you Lord. AMEN!

Nice and quiet....

I was putting Jere to nap in the afternoon in the bedroom when he said... NICE AND QUIET....
I was like what jere? what did you say?
He smiled and said... nice and quiet.
Hee... coming from a 2 yr 3 month, I think that is quite amazing ;)
He's certainly my language genius!

Our appointment with the National Skin Centre

if u have been asking where have we been,
nowhere actually....
but mummy me, finally got off work and is busier than ever before!

okie update on my little angel.


We went back for a review at the national skin centre on the 27th August, 2008, this time at the paeds clinic. When we went into the room, there was a young dr, I presume is the houseman, and a associate prof i think by the surname G. Assoc. Prof G was at her computer while the young lady dr looked at Jere.
Then, the Assoc. Prof G asked, "Is his eczema extensive?"
Me: (pulling up Jere's pants and socks, trying to show how bad it is) it is quite bad, you see Dr....
Assoc. Prof G: I am asking you is it extensive? Just answer me yes or no. (not even looking at Jere)
I was like.... errrr...
Well, shouldn't the dr try to see and assess it? She did not even look our way.
Me: Dr, the last time we came, he was prescribed some aqueaous cream and it seemed to make his skin flare so i stopped it and now i am using some organic eczema oil and it's gotten better. That time it flared so bad that he looked like he was burnt.
Assoc Prof G: It's not the aqueaous cream. It's probably something else you used. You have to listen to us and use what we prescribe you if you wanna come here. Do you suspect any allergy?
Me: yes. cow's milk.
Jere saw some pooh beah mega blocks and started to ask for it but i had to kinda answer the dr's questions that i brushed him aside till jere got irritated and i think the tone of the dr kinda got on him too. It's strange how children sense the vibes about them. Jere is usually very friendly and amicable but once he sense the wrong signals.... that's it... he usually wanna get out of the room asap.
Assoc Prof G: Is he always so irritable?
Me: No Dr. He just wants the mega blocks.
Assoc Prof G: Then give it to him. he seems so irritable.
Well, you guys who have met Jere would know what kind of temperament jere has. he's hardly ever irritable. In fact he's so friendly that almost everyone loves him.
Assoc Prof G: okie i will send you for a prick test, a saliva test and photo session. You can go now.
I was like huh? you haven't even assessed the child. Is this how it should go?
I was escorted out of the room by the young dr and there i was seated outside a nurses' room waiting for Jere to be pricked.
Jere was pricked and tested for 11 elements, namely the negative and positive control, soy, cow milk, egg white, egg yolk, wheat, peanut, derP, derF and Blom T, the last 3 being some kinda dust mites. Then we were sent to another Assoc prof room for the analysis of the prick test. Assoc prof G came into the room through the connecting door of the consultation room, kinda talking to herself, definitely not talking to me... well maybe talking to the houseman or the other prof, i don't know but i heard her saying something like she's gonna prescribe this med, that med and that med and all the walls are covered already and she left the room. After she left, the other prof H said okie what med is this? how come it doesn't show in the system? and what's this? and what's that, mumbling to himself and sent me along....
we were then sent to a room to do what saliva test... i was then told this is a voluntary thing for them to experiment. I was then asked to make Jere spit a whole little tea cup of saliva... these guys gotta be kidding.. that prof g must have thought we were a good mother and child to be bullied coz she definitely did not tell me this was a voluntary test and had nothing to do with the treatment process... I then told the ladies in the room that it is almost impossible to ask my 2yr old to spit so much saliva. We can sit there till the cows come home, I don't think I can achieve that with my little one. They kindly sent me along and said no prob at all. At least they had the decency to explain to me. Then I was sent to this room to take what photograph... i was asked to strip Jere to the diapers and let the photographer take all the pictures he liked only again to find out that the photos are taken for the centre to make whatever publication....gosh!
Then in the end when i went down to the pharmacy to get my meds, it was only ONE PHYSIOGEL! wow! all walls covered indeed.

I really felt that we were more used than treated... wonder what that assoc prof G is thinking!

Really.... shouldn't drs be more compassionate? Shouldn't treatment of patients be more hollistic?

Tomorrow, 21st Oct, 2008 we have a review appointment at NSC again and I'll definitely get shot again, coz the physiogel did not do no good. Jere's skin still look as bad....

We use the natural eczema oil blend to control but once we stop, it will flare and the what physiogel is sure not helping at all.

Will update again!

Blessed Wednesday

It's amazing how where we always go, we feel His presence so strongly.

This is the second Wednesday where we spend our afternoon up on the third floor of a shophouse in HongKong Street to do our physical program with Jere. I remember the first time when we stepped out of there, my dear husband said, it felt like the apostles worshipping up at the attic. Somehow, we were led here to spend our afternoon every Wednesday. The place is run by a church ministry. All very kind people doing it out of love. The children and parents we have met there are really amazing. They also got a really beautiful name called CLOUDS OF PRAISE. They start and end each session with a prayer and a song of praise in chinese and the cutest thing is Jere sings with them. Jere will go 赞美主(Praise the Lord!) Alleluia! and 因主爱我! (because He loves me!)

After the session, I went one street down and bought the boys a plate of hor fun and fed them their dinner. After feeding them, I took a walk with them to Peninsula Plaza to buy the organic eczema oil for Jere. It seemed to be the only oil right now that is working for him. Jere's eczema flared up so so bad after I used the aqueous cream prescribed by the drs. Usually I would have tested whatever I was using on a small segment but when I applied that cream on Jere, somehow, I don't know why, I just heeded the advise from the dr and pharmacist of applying it liberally all over and the next thing I know, Jere's skin flared so bad that he looked like he was burnt from head to toe. If his urologist had seen him, she would have immediately got me locked up and not just accuse me of neglect and abuse. We prayed and prayed about it. We were so worried but yet we did not dare to make any appointment with any dr to review it as we were afraid they were just gonna give more steroids and things that would do Jere harm. Then last Tuesday, someone told me to go to peninsula to look for a timer that I needed for Jere's program activities and somehow instead of finding the timer, I ended up at this organic shop called Eden and got my hands on the eczema oil that did wonders for Jere. It was the only oil that Jere would allow us to apply on his face to clear the eczema. Thank God for that! Yesterday when we were at the Eden organic shop to buy the eczema oil again, the boss and his wife so very kindly suggested praying for Jere. Frankie the boss started the prayer saying, "Lord, it's by no coincidence that this mummy here brought in her son to get something for her son's eczema..... " then they laid hands and prayed over Jere. Tears welled in my eyes as they prayed. It just made me feel that every step we were taking, God is with us. People always asked me, "What do you mean you don't have peace to do it?" It's this. God's peace just transcends when He's with you.

After that, Tim came to fetch us and the kids all fell asleep in the car after a tiring day. I rushed to the supermarket once I settled the kids at home and when I entered the supermarket, yes our local supermarket, the Fairprice, there was this song playing so so quietly in the background that it melted all my anxiety, my fatigue.... It was a song that we sang at praise and worship at healing mass last Saturday at St Michael's.

"You Raise Me Up"

When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

There is no life - no life without its hunger;
Each restless heart beats so imperfectly;
But when you come and I am filled with wonder,
Sometimes, I think I glimpse eternity.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

You raise me up... To more than I can be.

I knew then he was right there beside me.....
Thank You Lord!

How July flew us by....

It's a Thursday night, almost approaching Friday, exactly mid August, 2008. I was nursing Jere to sleep and I was thinking so much..... How I wish everything that went through my mind would just be penned down here.

It had been a hectic month of July!
Initially I had thought to write the whole of July straight but after I started writing, I decided to break them up coz the whole post is just too long....

so here goes....

Jeremiah turns 2! Praise the Lord!
July 5th, we celebrated Jere's 2nd birthday with our family and a couple of baby friends of Jere. We had a great time, Jere was blessed with lotsa love, prayers and gifts. Thank You everyone. I promise to upload the pictures soon.

The follow-up urologist visit
July 10th, I went to the hospital as promised 2 weeks after the last to meet with another parent and hopefully to have made a decision for Jere regarding his medical situation. I was a little apprehensive when I headed for the hospital as Tim could not take leave and I haven't finished the book of Jeremiah and thus don't have an answer to the solution. I prayed as I went. God went before me. The other parent could not make it and the dr told her nurse to tell me to come back on July 31st when the other patient had an appointment. Thank God. Praise the Lord!

Our visit to National Skin Centre
July 18th, we were referred to the National Skin Centre for Jere's eczema problem. The people at registration were really nice. There was hardly any wait. We saw the medical officer almost immediately and she called the consultant in to see Jere also which we found out later was the emeritus consultant. Jere was prescribed some steroidal creams and aquaes cream for his skin. Next appointment 27th August 2008.

KorKor Nat school registration
July 17th & 18th, I was monitoring the vacancies of Primary school more eagerly than that of stocks :P It was time to register Nat in Primary One. We wanted a mission school, a good school and a school that is convenient for us. There were clearly 2 choices. Catholic High School which was within 2km of where we stayed and we had a direct bus right in front of our block to the school in 10 min. St Joseph Institution Junior (SJI Jr) which was walking distance of Novena MRT and Novena MRT is just 4 stations from Ang Mo Kio MRT which is 5 min walk from our place.
We hoped Nat would get into Cat High coz his God brother Owen was in there and it would be good for Godma and me :) but by the end of Day 1 of registration, we were told out of 1km need not apply as within 1km was already balloting. So we headed down to SJI. As it neared the closing time, there was still chance for balloting for those out of 2km so I decided if God left the door open, no matter how small, I would just try. So we applied and waited for balloting day on the 23rd July.

July 23rd, Tim and I took leave to witness the balloting. We were one of the 40 people vying for 10 places in the school. The last number was called. It was 221 and unfortunately we were 223! Sigh! I never thought not being able to get your son into your choice school could be so disappointing, so upsetting , so... undescribable.

I had wanted Nat to get into that school coz I liked their school Motto very much... which calls upon Josephians to be in communion with, and to be guided by God through prayer; and to always work conscientiously in learning and growth, and in service to God, especially in uplifting the last and the least amongst us. Also, I wanted Nat to get in as It would be easier for me as Jere still visits KKH pretty often and it would be most convenient for me to fetch and send the boys as usually I catch the shuttle service to KKH from Novena MRT station too.

My so desolated look was caught by the darn chinese evening tabloid and that night, I got infamous among the ah soh and ah pek at the void deck of our block. Nah.... just kidding, thank goodness, the aunties and ah peks never read paper that day :P but nevertheless, our dear neighbour Shirley and family caught it and told me. She even gave me a copy of the papers for keepsake. Gosh! I really looked sad in the papers :P We had to try applying again in Phase 2c next week.

July 29th 30th, 31st, I was monitoring again. Cat High and SJI Jr had no chance at all. The doors were closed. SHUT! TIGHT! At 2 plus, there were still over 10 places in Maris Stella. We thought we were headed there. Came 3 plus no more vacancies for out of 2km. We then headed to St Gabriel's at Lor Chuan. We were the last registrant there and we secured a place. Thank God! coz the last thing we would want is not getting our child into a mission school as we thought faith formation in a child is really important.

The meeting with the other parent
July 31st, I headed down to KKH myself with Jere. I was kinda afraid coz Tim had used up lotsa leave for Nat's registration so I was left to face it alone. I prayed that God would go with me and before me. I reached the hospital and at registration the urologist dr came by.
Dr: Hello Mummy! I'm glad you came. How? Have you come to a decision?

Me: No Dr.

Dr: OH....The fact that you came is already very good. Meet up with Ivan's parents later then you see me ok.

Me: Ok Dr.

Soon, I was led into a room with Jere, given chairs to sit and a Filipino lady in her early 40s and a Chinese man in his 40s also came into the room with a 5 yr old walking awkwardly behind them. The lady seemed a little defensive initially until I showed her Jere's operation scar and Jere's feet.

We had a chat and found out Ivan was one of their twin sons. The other son was perfectly ok. Ivan also had Spina Bifida Meningocele. He was born in Philippines and was only operated at 5 weeks. The parents then brought the child to Singapore and Ivan was then operated again at 5 or 6 months. They cannot remember for sure. The dr then had given them an option of operating lower down and having his lower half affected or operating higher and then having a possibility of having a shunt operation later in the head. They decided the former. They then took out Ivan's shoes and socks and showed me that Ivan also had his feet operated. They shared with me that after the op on the spine, the feet seemed to turn inwards. Thus, as advised by the doctors, they had his feet operated. So now, the feet turned out instead of inwards. They then told me that their son started to walk after the operation. The urologist dr then came in and added in... "yeah... the operation is so easy!" The dr then cut us short and the family went with her. Somehow, I don't know why, I kinda followed the family when they went into the treatment room. I saw how Ivan sustained a pee and how the mother catheterised Ivan after and he did not seem to mind at all.

After the meeting, I just felt so inspired, so motivated and so convinced that my child would walk and his pee can be normal. AMEN! It would not be like what the drs said... catheter all life, wheelchair bound... walk with walking aids.. NEVER!

That kinda wrapped up our month of July.

Quit?

Nat: Mummy, can you not quit?

Me: What quit?

Nat: Quit.

Me: (getting a little irritated) What quit? (not knowing that Nat had been overhearing the conversations that I had with the dear husband about quitting my job and going intensive with Jeremiah's programs)

Nat: Quit. Can you not quit?

Me: What quit Nat?

Nat: Quit your job.

Me: Why Nat?

Nat: Coz a real warrior never quits.

Me: (quite taken a back that this should have come from my not even 6 yr old) Oh Nat.

There was a moment of silence.

It's funny how our decision to quit my job can affect the kid. Maybe he thought that he would never be able to go to mummy's fun office again if mummy quits the job. Nat enjoys going into my office. He loves going to the breakout area to play fusball and pressing a cup of iced milo from the vending machine and chatting with all the friendly uncles and aunties around and best of all get all the toys and premiums from mummy's office. Even Jere at 2 years old can say "I want to go mummy's office!" No kidding!

Me: (breaking the silence)Daddy's decided the warrior should stay home and take care of the home nation coz we gonna build the home nation and make it real strong! As long as the home nation is strong, all else is unshakeable. By the way Nat, where did you learn "A real warrior never quits" ?

Nat: (smiling) KUNGFU PANDA!

I tendered my resignation on May 16, 2008. Actually, I had wanted to quit and work with Jere since the Glenn Doman's "What to do with your brain injured child" course but I lacked the courage and the peace to do it. Yes I was worried financially with all the medical expenses and what nots... After 1 year of praying, the Lord finally gave me the courage and peace to do it. Well, it took me a good whole year to finally take the leap of faith that our God provides and quit the job and answer to my calling... motherhood. I know if I don't quit now and help Jere stand and walk, I will regret for the rest of my life.

Lord, thank you for giving me the courage to do this and helping me to discern. Lord grant me the wisdom to do what's right for the children and bless me in all that I do. AMEN!

Who's the boss?

The boys were having lunch together....

As usual, Nat was fiddling with his food and not that keen in whatever he was eating.

Then suddenly our dear Jere went "KORKOR! EAT PROPERLY!"
No, I'm not kidding.... Jere said that and the helper was also shocked. She was trying to control her laughter and when she saw me burst out laughing, she said, " I thought that should be the other way round...."

Now, who's the older one? :P

Two more days

and Jere turns 2! Praise the Lord!

This is a picture taken last year when we celebrated Jere's first birthday with our family and friends with a simple home cooked food and a symbolic figure 1 cake :)



This year, what's in store for Jere?

Mummy's planning a little party with the family and a few baby friends, following the rule that she read on a magazine of the number of guests should be the age of the child plus 2 so Jere can have 4 guests and that's it :) Let's see if mummy can keep to it :) Mummy always get a little carried away when it comes to parties :)

4 guests? Who shall we have? Babies of the same year?
Godsis megan? Jeremy? Riley? Cadence? Lecea? Oops! looks like we gonna exceed the number! :P

Thank you Lord for your wonderful blessings upon Jeremiah!

We continue to ask of your prayers for Jeremiah to knock upon God's door to heal Jeremiah completely. That Jeremiah will be able to stand and walk and his neurogenic bladder will be healed and all other forms of complications from the spina bifida be healed. May Jere be restored to perfect health in the mighty name of Jesus. AMEN!

I thank my God
I thank my God each time I think of You!
And when I pray for you, I pray with joy.

1. Now there is one thing I am sure of,
He who began His work in you.
Will see that it is truly finished,
When the day of Jesus comes

2. That I should feel like this towards you
Seems only natural to me.
For you have shared with me my labours!
The Gospel privilege with me!

3.Since you have borne with me my burdens,
I now bear you within my heart!
And God alone knows how I miss you!
I love you just as Christ loves me!

4. I pray your knowledge will be deepened!
Your love be mutual and strong!
Then you will reach the perfect goodness!
Then to the Lord you will belong!

The night after the urologist follow-up

That night, Tim and I went down for a walk to 7-Eleven on the pretext of buying bread so we could have a good chat. He seemed heavy. I know it bothered him.

Tim: Is there something you are trying to prove?

Me: No. What do you mean?

Tim: Are you trying to prove something on Jeremiah's expense?

Me: No. I know God has plans for Jeremiah. Plans to prosper. Not to destroy. He will be exalted of the Lord.

Tim: I'm just afraid. If making the decision is for myself, I won't be so afraid.

Me: What are you afraid of? Jeremiah blaming us like the doctor said?

Tim: Yes.

Me: I believe, Jere would not blame us for anything if we bring him up to believe what is right and what is wrong. If he chooses to blame us for anything, then we must have failed as parents and definitely deserve whatever blame there is. I believe that God will heal him.

Tim: So you are trying to prove something?

Me: No. I just feel that God has His purpose in making Jeremiah so and making us journey this life with Jeremiah. Jeremiah was made so that God's works can be seen in him. We will definitely meet with persecutions. Jesus, himself also met with lots of persecutions. No? Did He give up? No. Mother Mary saw her son suffered, but still she had absolute faith in God, our father. Mother Mary surrendered everything to our Lord. I just feel that we should just pray and have faith and surrender ourselves to Him too. Be not afraid. God goes before us always. I know there is nothing beyond our God. He is a faithful God and we just gotta stay faithful to Him.

Tim was really silent for a long while.

Me: Are you ok? So are you still worried? Disturbed?

Tim: No. I am at peace now after hearing what you said.

Me: You know what? The doctor gave us 2 weeks! Two weeks from the 26th June..... 10th July.The doctor told us to go read up on neurogenic bladder and come to a decision of a vesicostomy or do the 3 hourly Clean Intermittent Catheterisation (CIC)
When I left the clinic that day, I've already had this in mind. Read up on neurogenic bladder? No! That's not where I gonna find my answer. I had this prompting to read the book of Jeremiah and that's where I gonna find my answer. Shall we read it together and discuss about it? We should find our answer in God's word.

Tim: Ok! Let's do it!

I know this may sound almost insane, crazy, ridiculous, absurd to many of you... How could we find the answer in the bible you may say. But this is what we've decided to do so if any of you wanna join us on this journey, pick up your bible and read the whole book of Jeremiah and we can all share our thoughts about it.

Lord, help us to find the answer in your word.

Open my eyes that I may see
Glimpses of truth Thou hast for me;
Place in my hands the wonderful key
That shall unclasp and set me free.

Silently now I wait for Thee,
Ready, my God, Thy will to see;
Open my eyes, illumine me,
Spirit Divine!

Open my ears that I may hear
Voices of truth Thou sendest clear;
And while the wave notes fall on my ear,
Everything false will disappear.

Open my mouth and let me bear
Tidings of mercy everywhere;
open my heart and let me prepare
Love with Thy children thus to share.

Open my mind that I may read
More of Thy love in word and deed;
What shall I fear while yet Thou dost lead?
Only for light from Thee I plead.

Times my husband stood up for me.....

At that moment of time when I walked out of the clinic after being accused of neglect and abuse of my child, not one, not two but I really can't recall how many times the dr threw the accusation at my face. I asked myself was it a mistake that I told my dear hubby, Tim to concentrate on his work and telling him I could manage the hospital visit all on my own when he had offered to go with us the night before.

I felt so lousy that on the impulse, I took out my mobile and dialled his number as I walked out of the clinic. Sobbing into the phone and almost crying my whole heart out, I must have frightened Tim. I related what had happened in the doctor's room with almost all the emotions I had, I think. Almost like an abused puppy that was rendered really helpless, I hung on to the phone as I walked my way up from the basement which was almost like hell on earth at that very moment. I walked to Macdonalds to get my little one a happy meal for his lunch as I was in no condition to try to get a hot bowl of noodles and feed him that. I hung up the phone when I reached Macdonalds and ordered the happy meal for Jeremiah in between my sobs. The staff very kindly told me to take a seat and served it to us in no time. I sat down with Jeremiah and looked at him. I cut up the nuggets for Jere and he started to eat while I was so affected that I did not feel hungry at all though it was way past lunch time.

Before I had realised, twenty minutes had passed and Tim called me back asking where was I and I said I was still in Macdonald's feeding Jere. Before I hung up the mobile, I saw him approaching us.

Tim: Come! I go and speak to the doctor!
Me: For what? They have given us an appointment to see her in 2 weeks.
Tim: No! I want to know what really happened.
Tim then walked towards the clinic, not realising that the clinic had moved to the basement. I then highlighted to him that the clinic was not where he thought and pointed him the right direction. Not really keen to go back there, I said I'll go to the pharmacy to collect Jeremiah's medicine.

We both then went different directions. I went to the pharmacy to drop off the prescription while Tim headed to the Children's surgery centre at the basement. After dropping the prescription, something in me just told me I should head to the basement, knowing how rash my husband can get and angry when his wife is being seen as bullied. When I reached the basement, Tim said the doctor was still there and they would squeeze him in to speak to the doctor. The staff nurse and the senior staff nurse then saw me and asked how come I was back. I explained that my husband wanted to see the Dr. Then they told me the doctor did not mean what she said and surely I understand that. They then brought me into one of their rooms and told me the dr was a good doctor and she was genuinely concerned and had not meant to hurt me at all and hope I would understand that. I then told them that if an educated person like me was intimidated by them, what more would the uneducated feel? Then I told them not to worry and I don't blame the dr but I really just did not appreciate the accusations at all. Then we went out of the room.

It wasn't too long before we were called into the room of the Dr.

Tim: Dr, what is this? what is this that I hear you don't want to see us anymore.... what is this about a court order? What is this about my wife being charged for neglect and abuse?

Tim almost sounded a little rude I felt in questioning the doctor on what is this.... what is this... what is this....

Dr: No Daddy... you guys gotta make a decision. I really don't know how else I could make your wife come to a decision short of threatening her. I feel I have really failed in what I am doing after 2 years you guys still not decided to do the catheterisation.

I was kinda shocked that the doctor admitted to threatening me.

Tim: No Dr, You definitely did not fail. Everytime I walk out of your clinic, I am very affected and would think of your proposal at least for the next few days.

Dr: Then what is holding you back daddy?

Tim: We are not at peace with it.

Dr: What is holding you back? Shall I arrange for you guys to meet other parents who has done it?

Tim: I must tell you first. We may come back with the same decision. NO CIC. NO VASECOSTOMY.

The doctor seemed kinder or rather a little more cordial and polite to Tim. Why? I don't exactly know the reason but maybe Tim was sounding angry and a little forceful.

It was the same conclusion anyhow to return in 2 weeks with the decision we should have come upon and meet with a parent of similar case of child.

We left the clinic and Tim rushed back to office to continue his important conference that he had left abruptly to stand up for his wife.

Thank You Lord for a husband who loves me so dearly
Lord grant Tim the graciousness, the humility and a forgiving spirit when faced with persecution, trials and tribulations. AMEN!

The Urologist Follow-up

Blogging about the post still disturbs me and hoping that after having done so would help me to let it go.

26th June, Thursday - Jere woke up as usual, I fed him his breakfast, bathed him and changed him. He was really thrilled that he was going to go out. I took him on the train to Novena and then switched to the shuttle bus. We reached the hospital at 1130am in time for our appointment. I knew it was gonna be a long wait and I had bought some nuggets and soya bean for Jere. We then chatted with an enrolled nurse who was doing some administrative work on her computer in an open room. We were in there till about 1pm when finally the nurse stood up and said she will check on when is it gonna be my turn. However, Jere was kept really happy in there chatting with the nurse, given stickers, papers and pens to doodle with the I did not even realise one and half hour had passed. The nurse then came back telling me we would be the next in line so we went outside the room that we were supposed to go to and sat right there. Another 10 min passed and then we were called.

Inside the room of the urologist...

Me: Hello Dr

Dr: Mummy.... You have to make the decision today! 2 options 1. CIC (Clean Intermittent Catheterisation) 2. Vesicostomy (whatever that is!)If you still choose to do neither. You don't need to see me anymore!

I was quite taken aback coz she did not even return my greeting and straightaway told me about how I had to make a decision there and then.

Dr (looking at how shocked I was, carried on): Yes! You gotta make a decision now. Now and NOW! If you still don't want to do anything, I don't want to see you any more!

I was like.... but Dr......

Dr: No! You must make a decision today and we will do it NOW!

Was it that life- threatening???? This really scared me for awhile

Me: No, Dr. I can't make the decision now.

Dr: You have to!

Me: But Dr....

Dr: No! You have to make your decision NOW! CIC or Vesicostomy!My staff nurses has told you how Jeremiah pee right????

Me: No.... Your staff told me that you will speak to me about it.

Dr: Ok the thing here is your son pees only under pressure. He does not sustain a pee properly. He only dribbles. You told us he can pee so we did the 3 hourly observation but you see ( turning to her case notes as if I understood the graphs and numerical values) he can't.

Me: (peering over the case notes, trying to make some sense out of it) what do you mean he can't? so what's the outcome of the observation?

Dr: He cannot pee... mummy.... you gotta start your cic or do the vesicostomy. You gotta make your decision now. Otherwise you don't need to come back. I don't want to see you anymore.

Me: But Dr... I gotta discuss this with my husband. My husband is not here with me today and what do you mean if I don't make my decision now, you don't want to see me anymore?

Dr: I've never managed a case like this where my patient refuse my way of management and if this is so, I don't want to see you anymore

Me: Isn't this a state hospital? A public hospital? If you don't see me, where do I go? Don't a patient have the right to choose their own course of action?

Dr: You know mummy.... you don't want your son to have renal failure and he won't be eligible for a transplant. (sounding a little exasperated)Well, if you don't do the CIC or the vesicostomy, he will. You must know what are the consequences of a neurogenic bladder.

Me: No! He's not gonna have renal failure.

Dr: You don't want him to turn around one day and hate you and blame you for what has happened to him. Really... you have to make your decision today otherwise you don't need to make any more appointment to see me.

Me: What do you mean by that Dr? I can't make a decision today.

Dr: I've given you 2 years!

Me: Yes Dr, but I just don't have the peace about it. Look... just look at our last Urodynamic studies....if you a professional, a consultant, a paediatric specialist, a urologist and your 2 staff nurses and me, a mother.... that makes the four of us, all specialist in our own ways, the way the catheter was being handled then traumatised Jeremiah so much, how do you expect me alone at home to do this? even with the help of a helper, I can't figure how much better can I get.

Dr: Yes. That is because you should have started when he was a baby and accepted the catheterisation as a way of life. Then he wouldn't put up such a struggle. You should have started then mummy. Don't worry. You will manage. We will train you to manage.

I was not convinced at all.

Dr: You know mummy, we can have a court order and in cases like this the parents can be over-ruled. This is neglect and abuse.

Me: No. Dr. I definitely did not neglect or abuse my son.

Dr: Yes. This is neglect and abuse! Taking care of your child does not just mean giving him food to eat and keeping him clean. This is neglect and abuse.

I was trying to keep my calm and looked at Jeremiah as he was getting a little disturbed by the whole atmosphere. Not that I was guilty of the accusation but I definitely did not neglect and abuse my child. If I were to be accused of neglect and abuse, I think I have to be accused of neglect and abuse of myself. All those close to me would definitely agree with me. I have given all I could to my dear son, Jeremiah. I never wanted him to be born this way. But, God definitely has plans for him. Jeremiah is to be exalted of the Lord.

Noticing that this is getting at me as I was keeping quiet this time,the dr continued: Look at his skin! This is neglect and abuse! Why are you not doing anything about the skin??? This is neglect and abuse!

Amidst all this, Jeremiah has sensed the hostility of the situation and started to say, " Out mummy out! I wanna go home!"

Me: No Dr. I have done something. This is not neglect and abuse. I have never neglected or abused my son. NEVER! (tears were welling up in my eyes)

Dr: Look at the skin! It's worst than the last time I saw it! This means he has got no feelings and the abrasion on the floor has caused his skin to peel like that!

Me: No Dr. This is eczema. Jere's got a serious case of eczema and this is already getting better. Last time it was weepy. At least this time it is dry. and yes I am doing something about it.

Dr: NO! LOOK AT THIS!!! ( pointing at the skin and drawing her nurses' attention) You know you can be sued for neglect and abuse?

Me: (my lips already trembling and tears rolling down) Dr, on one hand, I appreciate your professional advice, on the other, I certainly don't appreciate this harshness at all.

Jeremiah was looking at me now and he said: Mummy cry! Mummy cry! Outside! Outside! I wanna go outside! I wanna go home!

Dr: You gotta make a decision today! Either the CIC or the vesicostomy

Me: No Dr, You know I can't. I am not at peace with the CIC and I can't do the vesicostomy. It's irreversible.

Dr: No, it's not irreversible.

Me: Then what's that about?

Dr: It's punching a hole in the bladder and the urine will just flow out into the diaper. He's on diaper anyway so it's very easy management

Me: but the child will be weaned off the diaper one day.

Dr: Not the neurogenic bladder. You gotta decide. You have to do something or this is neglect and abuse.

Me: No Dr. I can't make the decision today. My husband is not here.

Dr: Ok I give you 2 weeks. 2 weeks time, your husband come with you and you make a decision by then. Otherwise I don't want to see you anymore.

Me: But Dr, can we decide on not doing any of these things and just keep monitoring?

Dr: No! Coz that means I have failed in my duty.

Me: No Dr, you have done your part in giving us the options. It's just us that do not want to take up the options and don't patients have the right to decide for themselves?

Dr: Yes. Patients have the right to decide for themselves but you don't want Jeremiah to hate you for making this decision for him right? He's not going to be eligible for a transplant. This is neglect and abuse. We can sue you for this.

I was having quite enough of the same point being repeated to me... what about being sued... neglect and abuse, not eligible for transplant.... renal failure....

Me: Ok Dr. 2 weeks we will come back. Now, can I go if there is nothing else? It's 2pm and my little one is hungry. He has not taken his lunch.

Dr: Ok. 2 weeks time I see you and your husband. Mummy you gotta make a decision. What's the problem here? You need to see the MSW ( Medical Social Worker)? What do you need? We will give you all the support. You must do something! You must do the CIC. Go and read up this 2 weeks about what's the consequences of a neurogenic bladder. Go read up about the vesicostomy and decide.

Me: What if I still decide not to do anything and just monitor? Are you not gonna see us anymore?

Dr: You write here on my case notes that you refuse all options given and sign against it.

Me: (in between sobs) so you will still see us?

Dr: Mummy, you must do the CIC or the vesicostomy. You must do something about his skin. This is neglect and abuse.

Me: Yes I have seen the dermatologist that you referred me to and he's given me nothing but steroids and antihistamines. Dr, I did not neglect or abuse my son.

I was just short of saying... DR STOP ABUSING ME VERBALLY!

I took my bag and decided I needed to go.

Me: Thank you Dr. I think I need to go.

I left the room with the THIS IS NEGLECT AND ABUSE ringing hard in my head.

Still in tears, I made my payment at the counter.

I walked out of the clinic feeling so terrible but reminding myself that I should not hold it to heart and forgive what the doctor had just said to me I told myself if Jesus was persecuted and crucified and still his words while on the cross, he could say, "Forgive them Father for they know not what they do." What I just got is nothing compared to what Jesus had suffered. I was certainly upsetted and affected by what the dr said. Angry? No. I know she's just trying to do her job but can these drs realise we mothers hurt the most when something happen to our child?

Father, help me to put this behind me and move on. Bless the doctors that Jeremiah see and let every word that proceeds from their mouth be a blessing not a curse. AMEN!

I Thank you, Lord,
for the trials that come my way.
In that way I can grow each day
as I let you lead,
And thank you, Lord,
for the patience those trials bring.
In that process of growing,
I can learn to care.

But it goes against the way
I am to put my human nature down
and let the Spirit take control of all I do.

'Cause when those trials come,
my human nature shouts the thing to do;
and God's soft prompting
can be easily ignored.


I thank you, Lord,
with each trial I feel inside,
that you're there to help,
lead and guide me away from wrong.
'Cause you promised, Lord,
that with every testing,
that your way of escaping is easier to bear.

But it goes against the way
I am to put my human nature down
and let the Spirit take control of all I do.

'Cause when those trials come,
my human nature shouts the thing to do;
and God's soft prompting
can be easily ignored.


I thank you, Lord,
for the victory that growing brings.
In surrender of everything
life is so worth while.
And I thank you, Lord,
that when everything's put in place,
out in front I can see your face,
and it's there you belong.

A call from the staff nurse....

As I mentioned before, Jere went for a 3 hourly observation test on the 17th June. Today's the 21st, the Saturday that followed, the staff nurse from our public hospital called and told me to go for a followup following Thursday 26th June. I asked the nurse what was it about and was it really urgent. She refused to comment and said the doctor would speak to me about it. I hung up the phone, feeling a little disturbed.

God, please let there be nothing wrong.

KUNGFU PANDA!!!!

When Jere was placed on the clinic's bed and given a tissue box to distract him in his checkup, Jere went " KUNGFU PANDA!" and we realised there was a sticker right there on the tissue box that was KUNGFU PANDA! the latest craze among the kids now.

We brought Jere to watch the Kungfu Panda one weekend and it was really hilarious as Jere seemed to be watching an interactive movie.

When the Panda flew all over with the ignited fire crackers attached to his chair, Jere went "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH..................................." all the way till the panda landed back on the ground.

When the Shifu took the cane, Jere went " Uh oh! CANE! Naughty!"

When the Panda and the animals were eating, Jere went, "Noodle! SOUP!"

After half an hour interacting with the movie, Jere nursed and went to sleep, completing the movie in his dreams :)

Now Jere recognises the panda everytime he sees the posters or the premiums.

How old are you?

17th June - Jere went for some observation tests at KKH.

One of the nurses asked, "How old are you?"
Jere went "Eighteen months!"
The nurse was so amused and asked if Jere was really 18 months?
I said "oh.. no! I don't exactly know why he said that but he's coming 2 in 2 weeks' time"
The nurse just could not get over it that she went to tell her colleagues. Soon we had like all the clinic's nurses coming to ask, "How old are you?" and Jere never failed them with "EIGHTEEN MONTHS!"

Dernatologist? Skin Specialist?

23rd May afternoon, some 1 month ago, I brought Jere to his long awaited referral to the skin specialist, the dermatologist. The urologist that sees Jere all the time is so freaked out by Jere's eczema that she did a referral to the skin specialist. It took us 3 months to get this appointment.

I took half day and went home to get Jere to his appointment at 2pm. when I reached home at 1.30pm, the boys were sleeping. I was thinking... should I take Jere or not? The sun was scorching HOT and the baby was sleeping so so soundly. The thought of picking him up and heading to the hospital almost sounded evil to me. Finally I thought I had better go or it would always be at the back of my mind to see a skin specialist, to do a prick test, tada tada tada... the list goes on. I packed Jere into my sarong sling, took the baby bag and the stroller and took a cab down to KKH.

Wow! I never realised that the cab fares had increased so much. Had I not been running late, I doubt the cabs can ever do my business :P From AMK to KKH cost me $9!!!!!! off peak hours!!!! Yes totally insane!!!! I should have just taken the MRT to novena and got the shuttle. It would have cost me less than $2! or I pray that Tim gets a job offer in town or his company gives him a car then I can use our present car with the kids.

It was kinda long wait to consult the skin specialist and when I finally saw him.... I must say I couldn't be more disappointed and irritated.

No, the doctor wasn't rude at all. In fact, he was quite nice but, I just did not like his ideas at all.

First when we went in, one look at Jere,
Dr asked "How long has this been?"
Then he drew a picture of a man on his case notes to document which areas were affected and Jere went "WOW! Dr draw!" haha... I thought that was hilarious!
Then our dear dr started pushing Q* bath oil and Q* samples to me, telling me that's the way to go.
I said, "I've tried all these and it didn't work. Now I am using some MLM product which helped to clear. What you see now Dr was worst before."
Anyhow, I communicated that I also used organic stuff and the doctor then said nothing is really organic these days and not to bother and said stuff like they've seen lotsa such cases and their medication would usually clear it in 3 weeks. Then, when I asked is it steroidal, he said oh yes but very mild. He then prescribed steroidal creams, lotions and antihistamine drowsy ones for nite and non-drowsy ones for day. I was like *eyes almost popping out* when he told me the non drowsy ones were like clarityne.

I left the clinic, paid for my consult, chucked the prescription into my bag and left the hospital. I wasn't too sure at all if I wanna go the steroidal way at all.

Today, almost a month later, Jere's eczema has almost cleared. The weepy patch on his face is gone completely. We are left with the legs only and a little on the hand. Thank You Lord! We've stopped the MLM soap coz no more sponsor :P but God sure knows what we need. He sent another soap and it helped :) Thank You Lord! Our neighbour brought it to us. An old lady and I did not had the heart to turn her down so just took it. Then I decided to try it on the legs first, saw that it was good and slowly worked up the body. Now, I'm even using it on big bro Nat. The soap's name is margo, main ingredient is neem oil and it's found only in Mustafa selling at 90 cents per bar. Yes, I did a research on neem oil on the net before I tried it out. Go read it up and if you got a skin prob, maybe you could try just that.

Maid Solution

Haha... sounds so like an agency's name.

Much as I hate to talk about it, I thought I should just let everyone know I am OK, still managing the situation and God is with me :)

After the maid was found at the embassy and the police officer went down to take her statement on Tuesday that she was neither abused or mistreated, the police officer called me and told me to settle it with the agent. I called the agent, the agent told me to buy her an air ticket and send her home. I called the embassy, the embassy said the same. I quickly went online that Tuesday, got her an air ticket for Saturday as advised by the embassy, gave the itinerary to the agency so that her work permit would be cancelled and it came to a close. I had to bring her air ticket, her passport and her special pass and of course her remaining salary to the embassy for her. It was a long walk in Nassim Road from Orchard MRT. I passed the Saudi embassy, the Japan embassy and don't know what else before I finally found the Philippines embassy.

These people....super waste my money.... I pay agency fees for a 2 yr contract but I only got 6 months. Waste my time.... Don't want to work, don't even start la... tell me say her hubby never allowed her to come here in Singapore, she came without his approval that's why she gotta go back... and worst of all, waste my emotions :( When I handed everything to the officer at the embassy, I asked if I could speak to her and when I spoke to her, I broke down coz I felt so so betrayed in a sense coz we loved her as a family and she did this to us. I said "Thank you for taking care of my home and my kids for these 6 months but NO THANK YOU for running away." then as I continued, I broke down so I quickly wished her luck and God's blessings and hung up. Felt like such a wimp.

I walked out of the Philippines embassy's office crying. Had to call the hubby to let it all out. Felt so horrid that a person we treated so nice decided to go and just go like that. After, crying it out, I felt much better and went back to work. Well, at least there was a closure.

Anyhow, I sms her God's blessings and told her to make sure she received all that I handed over to the officer.

All the best Mary Jane. God bless.

Then started our new search for a new help.

Maid saga

What's the relevance of the maid to a mother's journey in faith????

The answer here is the maid is my main source of help to care for the kids while i work... so it is of big relevance.

And so I thought I was all ready to do something for my little angel, Jeremiah.... telling my boss that I like to work a 3 day week and all....
Well, I told my boss and HR that I like to do a 3 day work week so that I could give more time to move towards the wellness of my child. And the target was April to start....

And what happens?
Before I even started my 3 day work week,
Mid March, the dear helper that I had trained for a good whole 4 months and thinking that I could dive into my Glenn Doman program soon since she has kinda stabilised, dropped the bomb on me saying that she like to go home when her medical check up was due saying that her husband is stressing her to go back and she did not want to lose him.

So I informed the agency. The agent told me to probe further to make sure she was really serious about going home.

I probed..... and apparently she still was not very sure. She said her husband asked her to go back but she will try to tahan coz her hubby ask her go back since the time she came coz he never ever agreed her to come Singapore work in the first place.

Then April came, we celebrated her birthday with dinner and a nice birthday cake just like we would have celebrated a family member's birthday and ten days later, she told me again that this time she is very sure she wanna go home. When I probed again, she said not sure again. Then said maybe she wanna try for a caregiver job as it had better pay and prospects. Unlike any other employer, I told her to go find out properly and not at the end of the day realise that there is no real job out there like the aesop's fable dog who looked into the water and saw another dog with another bone, jumped into water and ended up with no bone at all and lost his own bone too.

I called the maid agency again. Agent then said will look through the bio datas and if there was a suitable replacement, they would get back to me.

I was getting worried so I went to another agency and managed to get another maid in on Apr 22. May 5, the old helper's (MJ) loan would have been paid up and she was free to go and if her agency dont find me replacement, I can't possibly just wait on no end.

The new maid came in and was trained by the old help MJ. May 4, new help said she is not suitable for our home and wants to be returned to the agency. That day, May 4, old help MJ went on off. Came back that night, gave me $350 saying her sister lent it to her and asked me to settle whatever she needs to settle with her agency and get her airticket home. I wasn't sure if that was the procedure so I told her to hold on to her money and I would check with her agency the following day.

Mon 5th May, I called agency. agency told me I had to take $375 from MJ ($195 (insurance + documentation) plus her air ticket money. The agency was supposed to give me a free replacement and I think they were charging it on her since she did not finish her contract and just worked six months. That night, I was home late as I was looking at bio datas at other maid agencies. I did not feel quite right with MJ's agent.

Tues, 6 May, I told MJ what her agency had advised me and MJ gave me her $350 plus she had $250 salary with me she said should be able to settle whatever with agency and get her air ticket. I said ok, took the money and planned to look for a day which she could afford her own ticket as requested.

That afternoon, when I returned from lunch in the office, the new maid called me, crying hysterically saying old help MJ was missing with her luggage and all.

I rushed straight home and filed a police report to safeguard myself that afternoon.
Called the agency but the agency said they did not know of the matter and had not seen MJ.

MJ handphone was still on. I called but she wouldn't pick up then I sms her, telling her to come back and close the case of missing person and I would then send her back but she did not reply me.

Wed, she sms me telling me to leave her air ticket with her agency.
However, things were not as simple as it seemed then coz MJ had been filed as missing person and i can't help her out of the country till she close the case police said.

Thurs 11 plus in the morning, agency called and said MJ is at their residence. I immediately called the police to ask what's the next course of action. they said to bring the gal to police station to close the case. I told that to agency but agency said "no such thing. we had missing maids before. we just need to call the police and said we found her." apparently they don't seem to believe I had made a police report. they then said you can ask the police to come our office and get her.
so i told that to the police. However, when the police got to the agency office, the agency said the gal has ran to the embassy!

Fri, noon, I called the embassy, they said they had no one of that name there. Then I called the police, the police said she was there. After I hung up with the investigating officer, I called the embassy a second time, this time, the embassy said yes she was there. What A RELIER! THANK YOU LORD!

Anyhow, police said fri and sat, the embassy was closed. Monday, he got other cases pending so only tues he will go to the embassy to get a statement from MJ that she is not abused and just plainly wanna go home. Then they will hand over the case to the agency and told me to deal with the embassy and agent then.

Boy! I was so stressed till she ended up in the embassy! I could not sleep and I was throwing out almost anything I ate. I was so worried that she would do anything silly.

So all you people out there... thank the Lord if you are able to stay home and take care of your own kids and thank the Lord if you've got good helpers. Seriously, these days, I really don't know what these helpers want out of us.

I just pray that when the police interrogate her, she wont spout nonsense about me and my family so we all can send her home!

WBG stuff

Jere was started on a special bath of 金银花 with filtered water (water filter kindly sponsored by a friend) and a special MIOR soap, also sponsored by the same kind friend.He was also sponsored 3 rounds of this WBG product Indinine. The good news is his eczema got significantly better. People all were commenting. Also, it seems that he is pushing his poo poo out by himself... I find a little more strength in his anus puckering! Thank You Lord!

Patterning

We finally started our patterning.

Guess God has His ways to get us started.

I wanted to start this from the time I attended the Glenn Doman's "What to do" course but due to lack of hands, we never really started.

Then, our dear helper of 5 mths said she wanted to go home last month (yes, when she was just 4 months with us) so I took another helper to train.

So there was an overlap and finally I kinda had enough hands to do patterning... so I wasted no time in getting it started as soon as I got the new helper in on the 22nd April.

Thurs night 24th April - our very first serious session of 30 counts!
Fri morning 25th April before going to work - 1 session of 30 counts!
Sat 26th April, 2008 - 1 session of 30 count and 1 session of 10 count
Sunday 27th April, 2008 - 4 sessions of 40 counts

Praise the Lord! Thank you Lord for sending the help.

SACCRE Healing Rally

Organised by the Singapore Archdiocesan Catholic Charismatic Renewal
Theme: "Under the Umbrella of God"
"If a man remains in Me, he will bear much fruit" Jn 15:5
Date: Fri 25 Apr
Time: 7.45 pm
Venue: Church
Speaker: Christian Chua

Enquiries, call Anna Pat - 97291239

Healing Mass

I think...

it's at Church of St Anthony's
7.30 or 7.45pm
23rd April 2008 Wed.
Father Augustine Mundackatt

Urodynamic Studies (UDS)

lined up for Jeremiah

15th April 2008, 1100am

Please keep Jeremiah in your prayers that the studies can only show good positive results. Yes, our Lord is faithful!
JEREMIAH WILL BE WELL! AMEN!

Healing Mass

Got last minute info

so here it is....

Healing Mass
14 April 2008
7.45pm
Church of the Holy Spirit
I heard it's Father Augustine Mundackatt

I'm Glad I live in a ....

HOUSE!
Not in a hole like a....
Jere shouted "MOUSE"!

We all cracked up when we heard Jere shouted that "MOUSE!"
I could not believe my own ears as I was in another room when Jere answered "MOUSE!" to my singing and I went, "Who said that? Was it Jere?" and the daddy and the helper proudly and happily echoed "YES!"

All of us kinda got infected by The Donut Repair Club Christian Music.

We started out with 2 vcds, 1 of which I got for Nathaniel when he was about 2 years old. Then, when I told my sister that Nat loved it, she got him another. Soon we kinda forgot about it till Jeremiah came around.

When we put it on the vcd player since jere's arrival and as the song Higher Higher played, Jeremiah would crawl all over the living room round the dining table which made us really glad as he danced for the Lord!

Then, one day, God blessed us with 6 more of such VCDs from an angel called Peck Lee whom I've never even met before! Peck Lee wanted to sell these vcds and I contacted her but later Peck Lee decided to give it to the boys hoping that they would minister to the boys and indeed they have! Praise the Lord!

Now Jere always asks for the Donut Man or another of the Psalty's vcd saying "CHURCH MOUSE CHURCH MOUSE!"

Go get your kids some donut man CDs today! It's amazing and surely wonderful to hear the kids give praise to God! ALLELUIA!

Easter and New Life

It's gonna be wonderful tonight as we witness the baptism of many in the Easter vigil.

Tim and Nat are new converts baptised some 3 years ago. Oops! I can't even remember the date. Maybe today, later, I'll make an effort to find out the dates of all our baptisms and celebrate as we would celebrate the birthday since this is even better than our birthday!

The only baptism date that I remember is Jeremiah's. We were so afraid then when he was born. Afraid that he would not be able to make it as he stopped breathing on us several times in the Neo Natal Intensive Care Unit(NICU). Jeremiah stayed in there for more than 2 weeks and when he was discharged finally, we quickly booked him the next infant baptism date.

Jeremiah was baptized 1st October 2006, yup, some one and half year ago and yes, apologies for not showing you this pic earlier.



The bib that Jeremiah is wearing reads "Through baptism, I have become a child of God".

Only after Jere's baptism then did I heave a huge sigh of relief as I entrusted all in the hands of the Lord. Jeremiah had NEW life within him from then and if you had been following my blog, you would not have missed how God had walked with us and blessed us.

Thank you Father God for giving us your son to save us! Thank you Father for your gift of life. Thank you Father for blessing us. I pray thee Father to guide us and help us to follow your plans for we know you have wondrous plans for us. AMEN!

So if you are thinking of CHOCOLATES! EGGS! BUNNIES....when the word Easter is mentioned?

It's time to ask yourself, Where's JESUS? Does colored eggs and bunnies and chocolates have anything to do with Jesus? Where did this concept of easter bunnies and eggs originated?

I guess the real meaning of easter has really been buried with time.

Okie, I won't go into the bunnies and hares, springs and what nots that has commercialised the whole matter of Easter.

Let's dig out the truth and honour Our Lord Jesus's victory over death, His resurrection from the dead, and His glorious promises of eternal life for all who believe in Him as it brings us new life.

By His stripes we are all healed!

The Resurrection of Christ brings new life!

AMEN!
ALLELUIA!
PRAISE THE LORD!

Creeping aka Doggy crawl?

Well, actually he first started creeping when we were at Pattaya, Thailand. We were so excited to see him creeping then.


We were so so fascinated! That was 4th November 2007! Praise the Lord! Alleluia! He is doing very much on this now. Whenever he crawls on his tummy, we would tell him "Jere, up and creep!" and he would do just this! Praise the Lord for the strength that Jere is getting! and his accomplishments everyday!

Our water baby

Somehow, we were always told that water therapy is very good for little Jeremiah and we always took to the pools as often as we could get. How nice if there was one just downstairs! We always went to the one at Yishun or Bishan where they had a wading pool that Jere could do his creeping (in Glenn Doman terms it meant getting on the knees and hands). Here's one of the pictures of Jere at the pool in SAFRA Yishun



This picture is taken 26th Jan 2008. Jeremiah just loves the water! The thermal suit that Jere has on is a blessing from God through Laura :)

5th Neurologist Assessment - 20th March 2008

It's amazing how prayers really work! God is ever so faithful! Just stay close to Him and you can never go wrong in anything you do.

The assessment was good! GREAT! WONDERFUL! In every aspect that we prayed.

I am sure the neurologist was God guided for one. Then the progress report was good!

Okie lemme just recount what happened.

We entered the doctor's room. Dr J was sitting there as usual but this time with 2 young medical students? sitting behind her.

Dr J: Hello Jere!

Me (carrying Jere): Jere, say hello.

Well, usually he does so spontaneously, but this time he was a little wary. He scanned the room and I bet if he was on his feet, he would really take to his heels! After so many medical appointments, Jere seemed to have developed a radar to detect doctors far or near, western or chinese.

Nat who came along, settled himself comfortably opposite the doctor at the table and went "I know you! You are the doctor on the ship!" Nat recognised Dr J for being on the cruise with us when we went on a trip with Club Rainbow last December.

Dr J: Sure I am!

Jere kinda senses it's not that "dangerous" after all since korkor is so comfy.

Me (quickly taking the opportunity): Come on, be nice Jere. Say HELLO.

Jere waved a little wave and manage a little "HAR-LO"

Quickly, I tried to switch his attention.
Pointing to the seat near the doctor, I asked, "Jere, would you like to take a seat?"
Jere nodded and went "SIT"
Me: Jere, can you ask nicely? say MUMMY.... PLEASE..... MAY.... I...... SIT?
Jere followed after me, nodding: MUMMY.... PLEASE..... MAY..... I...... SIT?

Boy! Was the doctor impressed!

Dr J: Wow! Jere, it's only 3 months ago that I last saw you and you are speaking so much now!

By now Kor kor Nat was playing with his box of dinosaurs and car that he brought along. Quickly I asked Korkor to distract Jere before he gets uncomfortable. Nat passed over a dinosaur and Jere went "SAUR.... SAUR".

Dr J: Oh! He can say quite a number of words already huh?

Me (proudly): Yeah!

Dr J (looking at Jere's eczema):His skin looks like it's getting worst yeah...

Me: It's actually getting better! It used to be weepy. At least, now it's dry. I've been using homeopathic medicine on him.

Dr J: You know that you have to look out for latex allergy right?

Me: Yeah

Actually, I think Jere is more allergy to the dirt and dust in the environment coz I noticed his skin got worst when he started crawling and sitting on the floor and eating whatever we were eating. We try to keep our home as clean as possible but how far can we get when we've got a dog at home and we can't possibly just dump her somewhere coz after all, the doggie, Bonnie is our ROM child. Well,we got her when we ROM coz we were not supposed to have kids yet then... haha Registering Of Marriage here in Singapore is not considered officially married till you marry customarily. But I must say the children love her! yes Bonnie. I think the doggie is also a kinda therapy for the kids. I have always believed that kids raised with animals tend to be more compassionate and we could also teach them responsible stewardship. Jere loved Bonnie since he first saw her. He was always trying to reach out for her.



this picture was taken 23rd Dec 2006. Okie let's not drift off the topic.

Now back to the neurology news....

Dr J (whipping out her measuring tape): Jere, can I measure your head?

Jere (sharply): NO! (quickly turning to me) GO! GO! GO! (pointing out of the room)
He always seemed a little sensitive when it came to looking at his lesion or measuring his head.

Dr J, learning from her last appointment with us when I took the measuring tape from her and measured my own head and Nat's before attempting to measure Jere's then tried to measure her own head and then Nat's and tried Jere really quickly and succeeded.

Dr J: Good! It's the same as 3 months ago!

Me: Praise the Lord!

This means the hydrocephalus has been arrested! AMEN!

Me: Jere, Praise the Lord!
Jere lifted his hands in praise.

Dr J: Wow! Jere, say AMEN!

WOW! AIN"T DR J GOD GUIDED???? OF COZ SHE IS! AMEN! PRAISE THE LORD! ALLELUIA!

Dr J finally acknowledges she is dealing with some strong believers here that she had no qualms about saying AMEN in the consulting room.

Jere: AMEN!

Dr J (examining his legs): Can he stand?

I stood Jere up against the chair and told Jere: STAND JERE! STAND!

Then I went on to explain how Jere is standing with his feet turned in and what we've been doing by turning it proper whenever we see him doing that.

Dr J: That's great! The last time I saw him, he was just crawling and now he's standing.

Actually, Jere was standing this way since last August 2007. He first attempted to stand on the 23rd August, 2007 to be exact. But I decided to leave it and not bother to clarify with the doctor as she's got too many patients... how was she to keep track. Thank goodness I did so myself. But I'm glad she had good things to say.

Then I took out Jere's sandals and told the doctor about how the right foot is turned in and how the leg itself seems to look like it was cramping up at the calf to make the foot turn in. She then explained it's due to the nerves. Then, I told her about how the left foot would tense up all the time and thus worsen the feet's eczema. She then explained it was some hyperdorsiflexion. Okie...another medical term for me to read up!

Dr J then looked at Jere and said: Hhmmmm.... looks like the brace and splints are not gonna help this guy if he is not gonna move and walk when he has them on.

I had told Dr J that whenever we put Dennis Brown boots for the little fella, he does not move as much.

Wow! for once the doctor are not gonna force that brace and splints down my throat!

I've been subscribing to Glenn Doman's school of thought of "Function determines structure" but the doctors all have been telling me "BRACE! SPLINTS! AFO! (whatever that means)" In other words, they were strong believers of the contrary of Glenn's belief "Structure determines function".

Think about it... if you brace, splint and what not, not giving the muscle to develop at all, and when you ever remove that brace or splint, the person is just gonna fall flat on his face! No? They would depend on the splint and brace to stand and thus never ever develop any muscle tone. So what's the point of all these brace and splints? To be dependent on them all their life?

Then Dr J said: Maybe you could consider Wellington boots

I was wondering in my mind what is that? Sounds like a high class term of the market boots that the fishmongers wear :P

Anyway, all along I've had this idea of getting Jere a good pair of boots and now's the time to ask!

Me: It seems to me that Jere's foot is turned in due to some muscle tension from the ankle up and not the foot itself? Would it be better if I get him a good comfy pair of boots like from Timberland and so he could walk in them?

Dr J: Well, you could try... yes! maybe not those rubber ones as you need to tighten up from the ankle.

Yeah heh! Goodbye to Dennis Brown boots! Finally kinda have a licence from the doctor to throw out the idea of splints and what nots.

Dr J: Looks like we can try to make him walk

Me: Yeah! of coz we can. He can also dance you know.

Picking Jere up, supporting him and standing him on the floor, Jere started to dance almost like a limp puppet but I thought that was a wonderful effort on his part.

Dr J to her medical students: Jere is born with a lesion at an upper level, about L1 L2. He had his surgery early so hopefully the nerves were preserved and he would slowly regain ...

Dr J continued to talk to her students. She talked about how important it was to have devoted and motivated parents.

Indeed! I feel very much that "The fate of a child is very much in the hands of his parents!" and so if I as a parent on earth will never give up on him, what more our heavenly father GOD!

HE WILL NEVER ABANDON US! HE WILL DELIVER US!HE HAS PLANS FOR US.... PLANS TO PROSPER, NOT TO DESTROY! AMEN!!!!

Okie back to the topic...

Me: So Dr, do I need to look out for anything with regard to his development? What do I need to do?

Dr J: Carry on whatever you are doing.

ALRIGHT!!!! OUR LORD REIGNS VICTORIOUS!

Jere then gave Hi 5 to Dr J and her two medical students, gave them a cheeky smile, said byebye and blew them kisses. Ha! I bet Jere made their day!

We walked out HAPPY! Praise the Lord! Thank You Lord!